Katie Schwartz

1) Thursday night, The Fixx Coffee Bar Jami Attenberg and Katie Schwartz (not the other KS's online, this Katie Schwartz will be reading. I'm reading an essay from my book. You must come! I want to see all of your fabulous faces. 2) I went to a corsitorium today for bras to hoist the hooters. Back in New York, they used to have proper corsitoriums for dames with generous racks. Older dames who chose your bras for you. This non-diva was a riot. She was in her 80s, a handsome woman, reminiscent of the days in New York when pickles were purchased in barrels, a very lower east side kinda dame. After throwing me in a room, she told me to take my top off so she could stare at the twins. Five minutes later, in a thick Russian accent, she said, "I be back. You wait." Upon her return with three highly unattractive brazatskies (bras), she placed the bra over each arm, pushed me over, hoisted my girls into the bra, locked that bitch up, straightened me up and proceeded to feel...

Tomorrow night (Thursday, April 3rd @ 7:30 PM) if you are in Chicago, do not forget to treat yourself to a literary feast, Guthy's Fixx Reading Series with Shanna Compton, Jennifer Knox and Danielle Pafunda. Hit The Mouth for details. Run like a dawg, bubbies. Also, have ya's been checking in on the Pilcrow Lit Fest blog ? There are some fantabulous interviews and the latest dish about the Crow of Pil. Hit it, yo.

" Fixx Reading Series super double feature, with readings this week and next!" Thursday, March 27th (today!) @ 7:30pm Larry O. Dean // Cris Mazza // Laura Van Prooyen AND, next week: Thursday April 3rd @ 7:30pm Shauna Compton // Jennifer Knox // Danielle Pafunda

Look what I found in my box today?! Aside from the fact that I'm a VADGE and there is a glaring typo " fie" instead of " fine" , they've made this dame a raging cunt- hate that (and her high, tight rack. Bitch ). Women don't behave this way. Women aren't cunty. Women don't emasculate men. That is not how we roll, yo. UPDATE : From the fabulous and flawless MonkeyMucker : Actually hon that's not a typo. the word "fie" is a somewhat rare wordthat is used to denote scorn or used in place of a swear or curse word.It was more popular in the old days, like say during the 16th thru 19th centuries . Who knew?! I had no idea. Simianboy, you're a wealth of knowledge. Grazie. Penis enlargement patches also do not work. If you want to keep your junk intact, don't be stickin' things in it, or on it that can damage the meat bat. Don't let anyone make you feel badly about your manhood, either. It's your dick, live it. Love it....

Major dish beautiful babies. Amy Guth is launching Chicago's first Literary Festival and it's called... Drum roll, please... Pilcrow . Is that tits or what? Oh, yeah it is! If you're in Chicago from May 22nd-May 25th, come on ovah. Check out Amy's post about the festival and how it came to be: IF THERE'S SOMETHING YOU'D LIKE TO TRY . Visit the Pilcrow website , to stay abreast of attendees, sponsors and events. Subscribe to Pilcrow's RSS feeds , too. Speaking of sponsors... Which one a'youse has chach and such, to donate? Come on, spill it. Guess what?! Ready? I'm on the attendee list. I'm fuckin' plotzing. My first scheduled reading is at Guthy's The Fixx Reading Series on May 22nd with diva Jami Attenberg . We love'ha work. She's got moxie. All of this fabulousness is hosted by the delish dame Amy . You must come! This event is going to be flawless squared. You know it and I know it.

This Thursday, November 15th, don't miss Amy Guth's The Fixx Reading Series ! Here's the dish from Ames , pay attention, children. That's your cue to be good listeners. That was my big teacher moment. I've always wanted to have one, I just envisioned it would be with a man... Wait, I'm getting sidetracked - FOCUS, PLEASE. The Fixx Reading for this month has been thoughtfully moved forward as to not get lost in the shuffle. So, that means that you can get your lit fixx this Thursday, November 15th @ 7:30pm with this month's guests : John Sheppard author of Small Town Punk and Renee Rosen author of Every Crooked Pot The Fixx Coffee Bar 3053 N Sheffield Ave. Chicago, IL Please note that due to various winter holidays, there will be no reading in December but a stunningly awesome January event, to be sure. You heard the broad, get your Fixx, peeps. Great authors. Great host. What's bad?! Bupkas that's what. Run like a dawg this Thursday night.

Tonight at the Fixx in Chicago : Guthy's monthly smash hit reading series. Head on over this evening to hear from the editors of some of the finest literary journals going, Ninth Letter Arts & literary Journal and Hobart Journal . PS: Check out Guthy LIVE , LIVE, LIVE via podcast.

Step Aside, Ego, There are Mitzvot To Be Done : Guthy 's pearls of the day are words to live by. Sink your teeth into this latke. Your mind, body and soul will thank you. Run . Read. Now. PS: Don't forget, tonight is The FIXX Reading Series in Chicago . Hit The Mouth for Details. Treat yourself to a literary feast. I love food.

sticky post until tamarah night, so scroll down AFTER and only AFTER you've read this! The Divine Diva bff Amy Guth is hosting the second Fixx Reading Series! You simply must attend. It will be fabulous. Check out the line-up below. The first reading last month was such a smashing, wild success . It was overflowing with peeps. Be sure to get there early. Run. Go. Now. Thursday, July 26th at 7:30pm The Fixx Reading Series Hosted by: Gutharoo The Fixx Coffee Bar 3053 N Sheffield Ave., Chicago The Line-up Charles Blackstone author of The Week You Weren't Here Rick Karlin author of Show Biz Kids Elaine Soloway , author of The Division Street Princess

If you're in Chicago tomorrow night, Thursday, June 28th @ 7:30 PM , get ready to mainline the hottest authors in town. Amy Guth , Author of Three Fallen Women, is Hosting an ongoing Reading Series at the Fixx Coffee Bar. Tomorrow night is the very first show. Are you plotzing?! I'm plotzing. Hello, I'm driven to caps on my blog. This is NEWS. Eric Spitznagel will be reading his book, Fast Forward: Confessions of a Porn Screenwriter. I've read it. I screamed. Howled. Peed. The whole 9-yards. Megan Stielstra : Writer, Performance Artist and Collaborative Storyteller will be spinning her yarns. Can't wait to read her. Ben Tanzer , Author of Lucky Man will be reading from his book. Running to buy it now. The dish... Fixx Coffee Bar 3053 N. Sheffield Ave., Chicago Tel: (773) 248-0841 Thursday, June 28th @ 7:30 PM Sharp