Katie Schwartz

If you missed it, here it is. Watch it for inspiration, hope and the promise of change, something I do believe This One will actually deliver. I'm so proud of my family. Each has been proactively involved in his campaign, from donating money to volunteering and getting the message out there: VOTE FOR BARACK OBAMA and JOE BIDEN.

From my friend Patrick, Cabbage Patch Politics: Where McCain and Obama Can Both Win . Ha. Obama Leads or Is Tied in 8 Key States , fab. If we can turn our heads for just a wee minute from politics to, oh, I don't know, SEX. I have some delicious dish. My good friend Al Sensu is dispensing SEX ADVICE on Hard and Fast. Oh, man, this child was born to drop pearls of cum laced wisdom. Check it out, yo. You will not be disappointed: Deep Throat (you want to do it or get it), Anal Angst (how many times have we all said that?), I Lost my Female Best Friend (awww. I feel for the guy). After the read, e-stalk Al for advice. I have. Knock wood, I can now suck a bagel through an Asian man's cock. We all need a trick of the trade . God, I hope my father doesn't read that last bit...

Palin Effigy Prompts Visit From Feds . West Hollywood, home of the brave and the proud is making a bold statement against Palin and McCain, a duo that wants to pray the gay away and send hold-outs to a remote island. In response, the Feds came for a social call? I digress. And. It's Hall-a-fuckin-ween. The parade will be filled with Palin and McCain drag queens done right for a change, and for less than 150K in clothing and 28K in make-up. Are they kidding? The Feds.

We announced the September McCunt essay contest winner, Frannygirl and the October McCunt essay winner, DrugMonkey . As an added bonus, we are giving (love saying we, especially when we all fucking know we is just me ) September's essayists one more shot at winning! That's right, beautiful babies, you have until this time next Tuesday to vote for the three following essays: 1) Sometimes I want to call Cindy McCain a Cunt, too by writer and renaissance man JDC of Democracy hypocrisy. 2) I am John McCunt and I approve this message by writer diva of Pulp Friction. 3) McMunt's Idea of Health Care Reform by writer and man of moxie squared, Rick of Traveling Man Rick. Here's the deal, children, leave your votes in the comments section for each of the essays you are voting for. You have one week. Only new votes are counted, so get ta'steppin, yo! Loving, Schwartzy

Is.... DRUG MONKEY !!! DM, you have won a dozen Bojamacakes courtesy of baking goddess Jintrinsique . CONGRATULATIONS, TOOTS! Thank you for your wonderful essay, If you Listen Closely as you Read This, You can Hear me Reaching Hard to Create Three, I May Have Turn a Rotar Cuff . I would also like to thank your fierce competitors, essayists Fredrick Schwartz of Hell's Leading Newspaper, the Dis-Brimstone and Mister Mister of one of the net's finest poli reads, Earth Observation . You rocked it, beautiful babies. Thank you, Drug Monkey and CONGRATULATIONS, ya big stud.

My good friend, Lewchieloo of Democracy Hypocrisy made this fabulous Palinazi politoon for The Vey. Thank you, dollface. Loooove it . New vegan discovery of the week that even meataterians and vegetarians would dig, roasted tomato and red pepper soup. Ta-fuckin-die-for delish and thick. If you have a sensitivo stomach and get acid reflux easily, you'll need a ruhlaahds (rolaids) back. I'm just sayin' . I was just thinking.... Diva Jood , Helen Wheels and Hilly live in my neck of the woods ish and I think we should start a monthly or six-weekerly coffee sesh. @ AlizaSherman from Twitter, a fabgal, posted a tweet this week about the Women Respond to Palin website. Check it out, yo. They're having a live webathon on October 30th. Women will be performing their letters to Palinoscopy. Some of us should get involved. You disagree? Pcunt hardly represents the best of the vadge community. Unless, of course, you're a woman who hates women, then I suppose Palin would be...

Today, I was humilareena and her friends, Shame, Oh The Shame, and You Shameful Snatch. Seriously. What happened today is so embarrassing I wasn't going to blog it until my sister said, "How can this shamevent be off limits when you so freely blog about menses." The girl has a point. I scheduled an appt with the cable man today because I needed him to switch out my boxes (that is not an innuendo, schmucks). My DVR was tiling and squeezing up when I'd change the channels. It also incessantly froze and garbled. Being a lazy bitch who doesn't really give a shit, I wasn't bothered.... for six-months. At 10 AM, cabletard enters the premises on time (shock of shocks). He's pleasant enough and clean-cut. Having had cable / Internet issues to the degree that I have had with AT&T, I wanted him to stay and make sure that my Internet connection didn't go down and that I knew how to work the new DVR box. Being a busy boy, he got a little snippy. I needed to sh...

HA. I love it. A Schwartz sent it to me. I can't say which one cause, ya know, the Schwartz who sent it wants to remain anony. Out of respect for that Schwartz, I'll shut my pie-hole. HOW FUCKING FUNNY AND FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABULOUS is this picture?!?!?! Ah, I love it. Thanks for sending, Schwartzy. ME

Some people love a paraaaahd. Me, I love a surprise. This is a surprise that will make all McCunt essay cuntestants very happy, I think. I hope. Wait, was that too flat? Let me jhush that sentence up. All McCunt essay cuntestants from October and September are getting a second chance to WIN a dozen Bojamacakes . Are you plotzing? Me, too. Miss Frannylish , September's cuntest winner is living proof of how fabulous Jintrinsique's cupcakes are. Just ask her . Here's the dish: 1) Starting today, Monday, October 20th, you have one more week to vote for each of October's essays. Leave your votes in comments, please. The winner will receive one dozen Bojamacakes. For Katie Schwartz: 3 Cunts and 3 New Words and a Curious Insight Into the Kind of Woman that May Trip John McCain's Trigger , written by Fredrick Schwartz of Hell's Leading Newspaper The Dis Brimstone . If you Listen Closely as you Read This, You can Hear me Reaching Hard to Create Three, I May Have Turn a ...

I was having a conversation with a very dear friend today and one of the things we discussed, I'm paraphrasing, was the concept that everything happens for a reason and that there are no coincidences . I've always been conflicted about those two ideas. Often, I wonder, If I am in charge of my own destiny, why would I choose to derail myself with Graves' disease? Then I back flip and ask myself, If I'm not in charge of my destiny, why was this placed in my life? After yet another back flip, I ask, How can I control IT instead of IT controlling me? As you can see, I still haven't answered my own damn questions and remain conflicted. In my opinion, I don't believe we create illness. I don't think we ask for illness to overtake our bodies and shift the course of our lives. I don't think illness serves a greater good. Just as I don't think there's an upside to death. Losing someone you love is horrific, full stop. Admittedly, I am the worst at facing...

DivaJood has tagged me for the eleven things you don't know about me meemish. This is going to be tough. What haven't we discussed, really? We schlep down Schwartz Lane so often, dishing menses, family, Graves', writing, life, love (lack thereof), naybahs, and so much more. I can't say no to Jood though, she's far too fabulous. And, yes, I am tagging others, so yas best be ready. If you haven't read her meem , you should, it's delightful. 1. Clothes Shop : At the minee, I'm not shopping for clothes because I'm too busy getting my sphere-on . However, all that's changing. Slowly, of course. Anyway, I'm whoring myself to any shoe shop that will have me. Though, I am going for comfort fit, I'm pleased to announce that I still have a degree of taste in that department. 2. Furniture Shop : Please, are you new? Say it with me. What is Schwartzy's love when it comes to furn and tchoch? Come on, you know.... V-I-N-T-A-G-E. Specifically, Eam...

I have heard from our dear Cormac and he's doing okay. Everyone is holding up as best they can under the circumstances. He's asked me to please extend his many thanks to DCup , Spartacus and Randal : Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I will keep yas posted...

Times are tough, no doubt about it, but we're do-gooders, so we want to make a difference in some small way, yes? Yes. I wanted to pass along a few things that made me feel good about participating in that you might be keen on, too. My good friend Amy Guth is sooo very close to reaching her fundraising goal for St. Judes Children's Hospital. " Folks we need to talk! My deadline for raising the bulk of funds for the St. Jude Children's Research Hospital Marathon & Half-Marathon is upon us and I'm close to meeting the immediate goal of $2,000. Say 13 of you donated $50? I'd meet the goal today ." What an awesome accomplishment, and for such a beautiful, necessary cause that has touched her very personally. Click over and let's help this fab dame out. Did you know that today is Free Mammography Day ? It is and I've linked you to some resources where you can find out how to get one. Thanks to my friend Roz, I am now looped. Missy Roz from Say it w...

One of our favorite bloggers, Cormac and my online BFF4 Evah has suffered a terrible loss in his family. He's written a beautiful eulogy to James . Please click over, give a read and send him your love. He needs it. Mind you, he'll whack me for posting this, but HEY, that's what friends do for each other-- lend support in times of need. Yes? Yes.

Let's discuss other creepy and surreal things, shall we? Fab. First, the above photo is Sarah Palin in her office. Did she whack the bear herself? When she's cold, does she drape the bear over her body so they're lying face to face? The God damned animal's shoulder blades are still intact. And the bear looks like he's fucking the top of her settee. What's happening with the crustacean? Stuffed and real or fake? Did the huntress capture it herself? Second, 33 Million Dollar home for sale in Bridgehampton . Originally built in 1898 by local nobility Dr. John Gardiner and named Dulce Domum, this country residence was set upon a 20-acre parcel 200 ft. above sea level. The soaring vistas viewed southerly across the farm fields to the ocean and north to the Connecticut shore from the 50 ft. observation tower are breathtaking 475 tons of local rock was used for the base foundation of this 12-bedroom compound, which consists of the considerable main house with multi-lev...

One of my favorite writers Fredrick Schwartz, spun a yarn for the McCunt essay contest. This was originally posted on one of the most up-to-date, authentic, brilliant news sources online: Editorials from Hell's Leading Newspaper The Dis-Brimstone Daily Pitchfork , a read that you must feed. Consider it truth and liberal soul food. I was on my way to Denver by way of a chartered Gulfstream V out of the executive jet terminal at Bradley International Airport which is nestled between the cities of Hartford, Connecticut and Springfield, Massachusettes. This has nothing, of course to do with John McCain or the word cunt but it is a timely and pleasant way to introduce the story that I have to tell about my first day at the Democratic National Convention. The flight was nice the Gulfstream was stocked with the type of alcohol I like to imbibe and the "screwardess" was a very easy on the eyes green eyed brunette at 6' tall and about 160 pounds. I was joined in my journey by ...

Guess what today is? Okay, I'll tell you, it is D-CUP's BIRTHDAY ! That's right, our Diva D, author of the fabulous Politits and Unglued , one of our favorite bloggers in the universe and one of the greatest dames I have ever known is having a birthday TODAY. Please click over and wish our DivaD a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY ! My darling, you are stunning, brilliant and the most fabulous dame around. I wish you a healthy, happy birthday. Loving you, Katie

I am, of course referring to the Self Help Center run by Romius. He recently celebrated his blogaversery and being the absentminded snatchola I am, I failed to post about it. Fortunately, Romius reminded me. Believe it or not, I'm glad he did. Romius blogs the Self Help Center , The Karl Marx blog and Bathos for the Misanthropic . He's not creepy insane, he's funny, clever, unhinged insane. He's the kind of person you can say anything to, like, I had this crazy nightmare last night that my landlord raped a turtle while watching the gardener masturbate and he wouldn't judge you. You could also say, I think I saw a three-way between a couple of horses while driving along the PCH, but I'm not sure and he'd engage you. Or, Do you think clipping fingernails in a kitchen sink is gross? I do. He'd give you a laundry list of pros and cons. That is how Romius rolls, yo, extreme candor. No judgment. He writes what's on his mind, regardless of whether it off...

I'm so furious right now, I could scream. Before I do. Let me direct your attention to a beautiful new post on DearThyroid . Please click over and read this lovely dame's yarn and celebrate another cancer free anniversary (YAY). I'm so proud of her for sharing her story, I know it wasn't easy. One last thing, breathe. I feel so guilty venting and ranting when there are much bigger issues in the world, and with people I care about. I realize stating this doesn't absolve me of my guilt. I wanted to acknowledge how frivolous this rant is going to be. You know it and I know it. Still. It's something I need to get off my chest, which is already grand enough (DDD). There is someone in my life who urks me. No, that's a lie. He makes me crazy. No. That's not it either. He's more pleasant than a pap smear. Not as invasive as a colonoscopy. Definitely as irritating as an untreated yeast infection. I have to deal with him. There are some people in your life, yo...

Palin Misquotes Albright: "Place In Hell Reserved For Women Who Don't Support Other Women" At a rally on Saturday in California, Sarah Palin offered up a rather jarring argument for supporting the Republican ticket. "There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't support other women," the Alaska Governor said, claiming she was quoting former Clinton Secretary of State Madeleine Albright. The statement came after Palin had recounted a "providential" moment she experienced on Saturday: "I'm reading on my Starbucks mocha cup, okay? The quote of the day... It was Madeleine Albright, former Secretary of State [crowd boos] and UN ambassador. ... Now she said it, I didn't. She said, 'There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't support other women.'" Actually, Albright didn't say that. The accurate quote is, "There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't help other women." (S...

What are Bojamacakes? Feast your eyes on the below Jintrinsique original cupcakes designed exclusively for the McCunt essay contest winners. I'm plotzing. I'm starving. I'm drooling. My vulva lips are twitching from all of this decadence. After you've gotten your foodie fix, be sure to cast your vote for DrugMonkey's sick essay, If you listen closely as you read this, you can hear me reaching hard to create three, I may have torn a rotor cuff

I come here today my friends not to bury John McCain, but to praise him. To share a tender loving family values snibble of time that I hope transcends politics. You see my friends the presidential campaign trail is long and hard, like a penis, and at one point on that long, hard, soul sucking, maverick busting into party yes man presidential campaign trail, John's loving wife Cindy came up to him, ran her beerlicous fingers through his hair and said, "You're getting a little thin up there." A moment of tender humanity in the loveless inhuman world that is American presidential politics. "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt" Is what John McCain said by way of reply. I'm not making that up. Three reporters witnessed it. God that's hot. I bet they had steaming sex that night. White-hot nuclear powered cuntaramic sex until that makeup ran down Cindy McCain's face like water through a hydroelectric dam. Which means it...

I never post e-forwards. I had to post this, though. It was too hilar not to pass along...

Today's finds at our local vintage market were a steal! A 1930s lamp that works, for -- wait for it -- $10! I'm plotzing. Love it hard. The vinty Hull vase below, I scored for $5, that I'm selling on e-bay asssapy. Sunday marks the last day to vote for Mister Mister's hilarsquared essay for October's McCunt essay contest. Tomorrow I'm posting a brand spankin' new essay from the one and only DrugMonkey . I have one more space left in October, so if anyone wants to enter, go for it! The winner will receive a dozen Bojamacakes from pastry chef Jintrinsique . We had three more kick ass PoliQ entries from Rhchatlienblog , TellingSecrets and ColorSweetTooth (thank you, beautiful babies). I'll be posting recaps and links to their outstanding answers on Tuesday. Off to catch up on my blog readin'. I've decided to Palinize my Palinabulary.

I just read the below on Propeller.com, 90 Year-Old Woman Shoots Self Inside Foreclosed Home A 90-year-old Akron, Ohio, woman who shot herself as sheriff's deputies tried to evict her from her foreclosed home became a symbol of the nation's home mortgage crisis Friday. Addie Polk is being treated at Akron General Medical Center after shooting herself at least twice in the upper body Wednesday afternoon, her city councilman said. On Friday, Fannie Mae spokesman Brian Faith said the mortgage association had decided to halt action against Polk and sign the property "outright" to her. "We're going to forgive whatever outstanding balance she had on the loan and give her the house," Faith said. "Given the circumstances, we think it's appropriate." Meanwhile, U.S. Rep. Dennis Kucinich, D-Ohio, mentioned Polk on the House floor Friday during debate over the latest economic rescue proposal. You can learn more about this tragic incident in the CNN vi...

Via Diva DCup . Push it around, my loves.

My best friend, Jonuel Pozo is having his FIRST show at the OJO Gallery in Jersey City. Guthy and Bubbsie met him and loved him. He's fabulous. The show is called Meage a Quatre and his photographs will be featured. His photography work is like nothing you've ever seen. He's wildly talented. Jersey City Artists Studio Tour 2008 Saturday, October 4th: 12-6 Sunday, October 5th: 12-6 Cocktail party tonight: 4-7 201-736-6922 / ojogallery@hotmail.com Please attend! You will not be disappointed, I promise. I wish Wellie had a website I could send you to, but he doesn't. Other artists featured include, Marco Beria (adore him), Stefan Umaerus and Steve Cummings . Their work is deliciously dark.

Thanks, Lewch , for e-stalking me this, it's SO FUNNY! Aden is the artist behind this fantabulous creation. Check out his bloggy blog .

After watching the debacle that is Palinoscopy during the veep debates, I have vowed never to eat apple pie again. She doesn't deserve ownership of her vagina. The vadgeotricity living between her legs should be removed asssssapy. During one of her many shitviews with Katie Couric, Palitler claimed herself a feminist because she hunted and fished alongside her brothers while growing up, and has a family and a career. I don't know a single feminist who would regard charging a woman for a rape kit and making abortion illegal especially under extenuating circumstances, or who would go out of their way to espouse and institute laws that diminish a woman's equality, a feminist. She's the anti-feminist. And if she thinks true feminists are fucktarded enough to fall for her, she's grossly mistaken. Conservative women are speaking out against her. Conservatives . The idea of an inarticulate, folksy, hokey, misogynist, power hungry dumb ass like Palin a heartbeat away from t...

The country is going to hell in a bushbag. We're all too stressed out to breathe and too busy not to. In the midst of all of this turmoil, we gotta have a little fun... news?!?! Sure, the debates tomorrow will be a scream and probably draw more viewers than the Superbowl. I am VERY proud to announce t he winner of the September McCunt Essay Contest.... Drumroll, please.... FRANNYLICIOUS ! CONGRATULATIONS, BUBBIE!! MAZEL TOV!! YAHOO!! YOU HAVE WON A DOZEN BOJAMACAKES BY the DIVINE Ms. JINTRINSIQUE , Pastry Chef, arteest and kick ass dame. This was a damn close race, I mean realllllllllllllllly close. If this were the presidential election, we'd be shvitsing like dawgs, pulling our hair out and panicking. I wish I could send Bojamacakes to everyone who took the time to contribute their brilliant, hilarious prose. You are all winners and divine peeps I adore, and am grateful to know. A million thank you's to JDC , ZipGirl , TravelingManRick and Frannygirl . -- Mister Mister...