Katie Schwartz

YOU MUST READ THIS ARTICLE! YOU HAVE TO! YOU HAVE TO! Disowning Conservative Politics Is Costly for Pastor By LAURIE GOODSTEIN , The New York Times MAPLEWOOD, Minn. (July 30) -- Like most pastors who lead thriving evangelical megachurches, the Rev. Gregory A. Boyd was asked frequently to give his blessing -- and the church's -- to conservative political candidates and causes. The requests came from church members and visitors alike: Would he please announce a rally against gay marriage during services? Would he introduce a politician from the pulpit? Could members set up a table in the lobby promoting their anti-abortion work? Would the church distribute “voters’ guides” that all but endorsed Republican candidates? And with the country at war, please couldn’t the church hang an American flag in the sanctuary? After refusing each time, Mr. Boyd finally became fed up, he said. Before the last presidential election, he preached six sermons called “The Cross and the Sword” in which he ...

Steve on 7:48 PM Why are evangelical christians sickos? They have made the only sensible decision they could make. The have accepted the Bible as the inerrant Word of God and follow what it says. Jesus is at the centre of their lives so naturally it influences what they believe and how they behave. Somehow, secular liberals foisting their beliefs and opinions on others is Ok but any hint of a Christian expressing a view or supporting a policy which accord with his or hers moral principles is to be rooted out. Come on! Look at the plank in your own eye! oh steve, dear misguided steve. you want to know why evangelical christians are sickos? well, I'll tell you. you want governmental control so that you can define what is appropriate for my body, what I watch on television, what I read, and how I live my life. you do not support my civil liberties under the constitution. you want them rewritten and regulated by the bible. how dare you! a woman should have the right to terminate her pr...

it is hotter than the devil's asshole post spicy pad thai and red curry. it is muggier than laura bush's beaver. it is dryer than write procrastinator's posts. i am mother fucking cock sucking DYING from this heat wave. my apartment is like a heat vortex sucking the life out of my fat fuckin jew bitch body. argh! fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

to: katie from: L date: today Hey you,Things are good. When are you coming to visit??? How is life treating you and your little hound? L // // // to: L from: katie date: today I am glad that you are doing well. that is so good to hear. After such struggle, you deserve to be happy. I have been way too busy. truly… life sucks. It’s difficult right now and very deeply challenging. but, as they say, this too shall pass. I’m exhausted. need dick. need to exercise more. lose weight. Get a fucking life ... blah. blah. blah. who cares. I do want to come up. I do want to see you. you were my first blow job. I think we should fuck. xo k

... zealot christians, evangelicals, hezbollah, hamas and al qaeda to zealot island in the middle of nowhere and cut off from the rest of the world: 1. I'd love to see these folks play a game of twister! 2. they are all right, so it's likely they'd wipe each other out, making zealotry extinct. 3. I am so curious as to what the national flag would be. 4. it'd be great to see the christian spin on seasonal berkas. 5. would jan crouch hook up with osama or nasrallah? 6. being submissive to a man is big in christian circles, so they require little training. 7. I wonder who would get better play, jesus or allah. 8. lots of cool temples and churches on every street corner. 9. jew-free zone 10. gay-free zone

"Thousands gathered last year in New York for a Billy Graham event. The Evangelical Christian movement is the fastest-growing faith group in America." this article is so depressing, but so important. ohio is a swing state and the evangelicals are seriously out of control with their sick ass desire to cease and desist from the seperation of church and state. insult to injury, these fucknuts believe every word of the bible without question. creepy. megachurches build a republican base By Andrea Hopkins, Reuters LANCASTER, Ohio (July 16) - It's not Sunday but Fairfield Christian Church is packed. Hundreds of kids are making their way to vacation Bible school, parents are dropping in at the day-care center and yellow-shirted volunteers are everywhere, directing traffic. In one wing of the sprawling church, a coffee barista whips up a mango smoothie while workers bustle around the cafeteria. "There are people here from 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. every day -- sometimes later,"...

I often wonder what famous women’s pussies’ look like in comparison to my own. Not porn pussy or Paris Hilton pussy, because those pussies are superfluous. I’m also educated enough to know that my Jewtang doesn’t hold a candle to their Protang. I imagine that pussy grooming expenses are tax deductible. That their V’s are as pristine as a Maybach. That they have a shiny effervescent glow, even without titillation. That their vulva lips are soft pink, perfectly budding roses. That mountain spring water gushes when they orgasm. That their pussies are on self-refreshing timers. Clearly, I have Famous Pussy Pedestal Syndrome and it’s a problem. But, how could I not? Men clamor to get inside famous pussy, often fixating on one star-slit as their principal source of jerk-off inspiration. Of course they have contingency celebtang, too, that they wouldn’t kick out of bed. What red blooded American man doesn’t want to say, “Yeah. I fucked her.” In my mind, the reigning pussies in Hollywood must ...

what the fuck do you think I'm doing at 3:30 in the morning? sleeping?! in a fuckin polish wet dream of holland, I'm sleeping. I jerk off to posturpedic bed commercials and the happy-go-sleeping-lucky-fuckers that look rested in them! jerking off: again, not having a dick is just a formality. I was thinking earlier today that halloween costumes can be so revealing. I had a neighbor, a weasley little trust fund bitchboy who never made the cut in life. fancies himself a real entrepreneur . newsflash dipshit, workin' for daddy three hours a day and collecting 10K a month doesn't make you an independent man or a man. it makes you a pussy bitchboy. I digress... he dressed up as a doctor one year: a starched white coat with a laminated name tag that clips onto his coat and a shiny gold stethoscope. he was workin' WAY TOO MUCH md pride. I recently attended a meeting with parents of recovered drug addicts and alcoholics, which was a very enlightening and moving experience a...

ok, so I don't have a dick! formalities. formalities. per nicoleo , I am sharing this yarn with you. so, louie jew and I were meandering to my 30-year-old, black on black mother fucking cock sucking SANS air conditioning, car, when I noticed that he had gum on his paw! yeah, chewing gum burrowed into his left paw with a nice gum web trailing behind. who the fuck throws chewing gum on the street anymore? that is so fucking 80s. now, I have to take the dog to the fucking groomer to get it sucked out of his fucking paw. god forbid he licks foreign gum and gets some freakish disease. people suck ass!

katie : dude, I think I freaked out my distraction today nicoleo : oh yeah nicoleo : what happened? katie : I developed a really scary case of creepy chick syndrome nicoleo : HAHAHAHAHHAHAH katie : it was bad nicole onicoleo : OMG!!!! nicoleo : hahahahahaha nicoleo : what did you do?! katie : oh dude katie : I can tell you without reservation or hesitation katie : the truth katie : well, I just kinda fuckin lost it katie : got really inapropriately insecure katie : and said, "what's wrong? am I boring you? am I irritating to you? i dont understand what's going on and why you havent emailed me back." katie : then when I didnt hear back katie : because I hadnt FREAKED HIIM OUT ENOUGH katie : I thought, gee, katie, why dont you just terrify the pants off of him katie : so I emailed him again and said, "oh, god, I think I just went all creepy chick syndrome on you. I am so sorry. I think I caught it from a girlfirend. it's really not my personality to creep peopl...

Dear Lord , thank You for this struggle of obedience I am facing. Thank You for giving me an opportunity to choose You over myself. I resolve in my heart to obey You and resist temptation. I will not _________ (do the thing I was planning to do.) Now, Lord, I confess that I need your help. I cannot obey in my own strength. Be my Defender and my Deliverer. You are able to deliver the godly from temptation. Thank You for that. I will give you all the praise for the victory. Help me to walk in obedience with every step. Have mercy on me. I want to choose You. Help me. Give me strength and mercy when I am weak. Battle the forces of darkness on my behalf because of Your goodness. I am your child and servant and I look to You to be bigger than me and take care of me. Thank You, Daddy. for me, the thank you, daddy, just sends it home. I'm talking standing ovation worthy performance in creepiness squared. THANK YOU, DADDY! the shame.....

friday, louie was sedated and x-rayed and oooh, did he do famously! his surgeon said he's healing beautifully, absolutely beautifully! she couldn't believe it. my parents both had pretty major surgery's this year and afterwards, they were encouraged to walk; so, four weeks into louie jew's surgery, I let him walk, a lot. a mother knows... as a result, his muscles are strong. no atrophy. and he's in miraculous shape. he can start walking a bit more now, maybe running a little bit and by next month, he'll be back to his old self again. is that fab or is that fab!!! SO GLAD I TRUSTED MY INSTINCTS.

1. it's cliche and I HATE cliches 2. who wants to live on low self-esteem way intersecting I hate myself lane?! 3. I'm so not an amber frey bridesmaid to be. 4. what if he's idiot boy who whacks his wife because he's too much of a puss to ask for a divorce?! like I really need that drama in my life. 5. fucking married men is so twenty-something. 6. being on the recieving end of, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, is refreshing and delightful. 7. are dirty little secrets making a comeback? 8. listening to a man whine about his ball and chain is hot because?! 9. ga head. be with a married man. you want to be the bitch he's cheating on in a few months from now? knock yaself out. 10. married men are vortexes of need.

wanna blog roll me using nicole's super fly icons? the i heart katie icon... here's the code to do it. if you're lucky and really nice, maybe nicoleo will make one for you too!! Blogroll Me! Just cut and paste the code below and this groovy button will appear on your site : <a href="http://katieschwartz.blogspot.com"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3942/616/1600/katieschwartz.0.jpg" border="1"</a>

insomnia... what a mother bitch. pulled a muscle in my shoulder blade precipitated by titskea from hell, weight. I'm so irritated and in pain. gee, I wonder if I'll wake up with a yeast infection. a girl can dream. nicoleo sent me an article in the daily koss about the ever growing homeless middle class . you have to read it. it's terrifying and very important. George W. Knox, director of the National Gang Crime Research Center, said, In order to understand any subculture, be it al-Qaida, witches, devil worshippers or gangs, you have to be able to know their own language. I'm trying to wrap my head around al-qaida, witches and devil worshippers being in the same league. but, I'm having a real hard time with it. how are witches a threat to national security again? I don't recall reading about any devil worshippers keen on suicide bombings. you?

1. cramps of epic proportions. 2. being a hostage to a microscopic egg that gives entirely new meaning to tsunami 3. getting to wear fly encycolpedias between your legs for seven fucking days. 4. when you have no desire to speak with someone who asks you how you're doing, say, menstruating. you? they glare disdainfully and bolt. 5. blood stains are hot. 6. crying at lifetime television for women, semicolon movie commercials... and considering watching them. ewww. 7. water retention is slimming. 8. craving salt. no sugar. no salt. no, sugar, god dammit. 9. ferocious headaches that make your brain feel like it's being split in two with a jack hammer and eaten by hannibal lechter. 10. oil slick worthy skin and abnormally giant blemishes.

1. the gratuitous walk-by-wink at fehatty so you can count her chins as she looks back hoping to steal another wink. 2. hot guys fuck fat chicks for karma points. 3. myth: fat girls have big vaginas. skinny girls have tiny vaginas. fact: you just have to dig deeper and wear appropriate head gear. 4. skinny girlfriends are never intimidated by your fat friend. even if you DO only let her blow you when you're severely drunk because you couldn't score thin-beav. 4. wide load. two ton tits. sphere on getaway sticks. these are not compliments. 5. fat girls are easy 6. fat girls swallow 7. fat girls aren't size queens 8. if you fuck a fat girl's sweaty jelly roll, she'll never know the difference because fat girls can't cum. 9. fat girl's are a man's best kept dirty little secret.

Write Procrastinator has left a new comment on your post " lisa welchel's journal archives ": I've already contacted your family and they've contacted your Rabbi, we're doing an intervention on you, Katie-lah. TOO FUNNY!!! and, as an aside... because of you, wp, I can now claim that I don't need to spell check procrastinator!

Lisa Whelchel Weekly Journal June 30, 2006 Beth Moore Event so... here are some excerpts, but you must click through and read the whole thing. it is so shameful and so shallow. oh, scratch that, I mean, SO CHRISTIAN! "Jerry is such an amazing servant! He reminds me so much of my precious husband, Steve." um. jerry's black. and don't be tellin me that servant of jesus gig is an honor. a servant is a servant is a servant. how would diva blair feel if someone called her cracker with a cheese whiz back. "I was sooooo intimidated. I was so scared I was going to have to pray out loud in front of them. I mean really, first there is Beth, who can probably drink a cup of coffee with anointing. Then there is Priscilla, who prays with such authority that she could be reading the phone book and people would get saved." "I mean, I love Beth and all, but I came to meet Jesus and He showed up before we even got to see what Beth was wearing and how she did her hair....

lisa welchel journaled about a dinner she had with another creepy christian chick, beth moore . so, when the check came, blair picked it up with her 'mom time ministries' credit card. however, blair's card was declined (sad blair). the best part of the story is their little banter about the interpretation of blair's card being rejected: beth cleverly jumped in: “I think this is god saying that I’m supposed to treat you to dinner. I fought back: No, I think this is god saying you are supposed to meet my husband, Steve. when my credit card is declined, I chalk it up to being fat, poor white trash. but, maybe I'm missing something. maybe big j is trying to send me a message. should I be stealing cards from neighboring check folders? should I suck my waiter's cock? I think I'm going to sit in the closet like lisa welchel does with my ipod and see if I can't mainline god.

1. fame. finally! 2. never having to audition again and still fame prevails. 3. she thinks my sleezy, tough guy image is hot. 4. I make love to her. ewwwww. 5. I tattooed her image on my arm = love. 6. she's got a horse face too! our children will nay. 7. like my buddy k-fed, a rich bitch is better than a po bitch. 8. I'll never fly economy again. 9. television network red carpets blow olive garden's red carpets away. 10. I don't have to buy her tits.

Right Between The Sound Machine a.k.a. F.F.F. #43 it's a must read. beautifully spun by the talented mr. b...