Non-Sequitur Dish. Keep Pace


Danny Bonaduce has a MySpace page. Yeah. I know. Not one peeny pick. Though, he is wearing cheap mascara and dirty black eyeliner. I swear to God, this man's face looks like a prunicated, geriatric ball sack, dredged in vintage tar and soaked in southern chewed tobacco. I'm so glad he's not looking up from between my legs. I'd kill myself.



Busy day. Went to the laundrette tonight with my sister. We had such a laugh. I dished with an old friend. Weird convo. I'm afraid we're growing apart. You know those long pauses, like when you feel the person you're talking to is holding something back that you can't quuuuite put your finger on?! This was that. I hope not. I'd be such a bluejew. We've known each other for over 20 years.



I was thinking about the zelly set today and how they prioritize their love. The Lord comes first. Husband/wife second. Kids third. I'd have such a complex. Yes, I know they're freaks.

Comments

Joe said…
See, now, you pulled me in with the pic of the hot vintage topless dames, and then you poked me in the eye with the Danny Bonaduce between your legs...I'm dying here, but that's why I love you. Don't ever change.
9:32 PM
Romius T. said…
i met danny once at a cinco de mayo celebration, i cant remember if i blogged it or not. but a friend got a cell pic of him hamming it up. tons of girls were trying to get his attention. icky eh?
10:47 PM
Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said…
Those are some great vintage tits. I may have to come back and rub one out later while gazing at them.
11:48 AM
Bacon Lady said…
Well, you know what I always say:

"Nothing like boobies to cheer ya' up!"
3:10 PM
Writeprocrastinator said…
"You know those long pauses, like when you feel the person you're talking to is holding something back that you can't quuuuite put your finger on?!"

Your friend just found out that you are David Liberman. If you found that out about someone, you'd be holding something back too.

BTW, love the vintage cheesecake.
7:48 PM
Anonymous said…
"...prunicated, geriatric ball sack..."

Wrong!
The skin and musculature of the human genitalia does not age like the rest of the body. Octogenarian pudenda is quite indistinguishable from those of a pre-pubescent, save possible hirsuteness.

Bonaduce betwixt my legs? It is Danny DeVito in that position that truly frightens me.
8:43 PM
Distributorcap said…
was it my beautiful launderette?
5:58 AM
Coaster Punchman said…
"I swear to God, this man's face looks like a prunicated, geriatric ball sack, dredged in vintage tar and soaked in southern chewed tobacco. I'm so glad he's not looking up from between my legs. I'd kill myself."

You are KILLING me!!!!!!!
8:39 AM
Zoltan said…
I'm starting to question that guy's heterosexuality...waita sec... did I say "starting"?
2:38 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SPEAKING OF ABORTIONS

Image
Menses just commenced. It's 1:14 AM. I was asleep. That felt good. At 12:24, I popped up. I think I'm awake, maybe awakeish is more accurate. I'm always surprised when those handy-soapy-foamy-bottles run out of soap. For some lame ass reason, it never occurs to me that they ever will. They feel so lifetime supply , even though the bottles aren't more than 8 inches tall. Similarly, when I flip on a light switch and the light flickers to its death, I think "Now what?" Duh, schmuckette, you change the fucking light bulb . Intellectually, I know this, yet for some odd reason, it never comes to mind. In fact, a few years ago, my mother walked into my house and said, "Why aren't the lights working?" I said "I don't know, I flick the switch and they don't work." After a fit of uproarious laughter, she said, "Would it kill you to change the light bulb?” Hmmm. "No", I shamefully responded. I wonder why... it is that I hav...
Read more

Best Spam Evaaaaaaaaaaah -UPDATE-

Image
Look what I found in my box today?! Aside from the fact that I'm a VADGE and there is a glaring typo " fie" instead of " fine" , they've made this dame a raging cunt- hate that (and her high, tight rack. Bitch ). Women don't behave this way. Women aren't cunty. Women don't emasculate men. That is not how we roll, yo. UPDATE : From the fabulous and flawless MonkeyMucker : Actually hon that's not a typo. the word "fie" is a somewhat rare wordthat is used to denote scorn or used in place of a swear or curse word.It was more popular in the old days, like say during the 16th thru 19th centuries . Who knew?! I had no idea. Simianboy, you're a wealth of knowledge. Grazie. Penis enlargement patches also do not work. If you want to keep your junk intact, don't be stickin' things in it, or on it that can damage the meat bat. Don't let anyone make you feel badly about your manhood, either. It's your dick, live it. Love it....
Read more

Get Listen Up

Image
Have you seen the infomercial for Get Listen Up ? I thought the idea of a product that turns "Ordinary hearing into Extroidinary hearing" was too camp for words. In the mersh, a hospitable narrator takes you through all kinds of folks using it in church, hunting, watching television, listening to your spawn on the playground, all doable, right? Right. I was sold, too. Until.... my friendly narrator lady said "Listen to what your neighbors are saying about you." Okay, creeparella, how very big brother. Watch the mersh . Doreen sent me a kick ass, smart ass article this week in the NY Times called, " Skin Deep - Hey, Mom, the Rabbi Approved my Tattoo ". Speaking of Diva Doreen, I finished her flawless, brilliant book Queen of the Road (it's tits to the tenth, children) and she's graciously allowed me to interview her. I'll be posting that this week and you will love every word. Frannylish sent me, in her words an "oy gevalt" article ...
Read more