regarding this post... again
remember that post about matters of the heart, the one I wrote on sunday. it's here. in that post, I said, the hardest part about not mattering to someone is the moment you realize that you don't matter to them and you never really did.
FIRST... while I appreciate such cozyass sentiments and believe me, fehatty does. it wasn't about me. like the short bus schmuck I am, I didn't spell out what I meant. clearly we don't have esp, do we? now I will.
I was interested in getting a discussion going about matters of the heart. I am intrigued by people who can't sort of, well, roll with it. meaning, they need to define every step of a relationship instead of just enjoying the journey, free of expectations, regardless of where it takes them.
I am equally fascinated by the concept of pushing someone to be with you when you both know they don't want to be with you.
finally, this concept of relationships as failures or successes. what is that? why do people do that? how can any relationship be a failure? can't it just be right in that moment for the time you were together? is that so horrible?!
spill. let's dish.
Comments
As a teenager, I was so guilty of this. Totally and utterly lovestruck. Would have taken to my testicles with a hammer to gain her affection. I was completely rebuked.
In hindsight, it's lucky I never had that hammer in more ways than one....
That being said ...
At this age in my dating life, I find that men are more desperate to stay together, to fit their square peg into my round hole (huh; I didn't mean for that to be sexual ... and yet it is). I find it frustrating that they want to talk about The Relationship on a third date, that they're frustrated if I'm not available every damn Saturday.
"Would have taken to my testicles with a hammer to gain her affection." what a glorious sense of drama you have.
you're right. great points!
He ended up cheating on me soon after we got back together.
What kind of asshole begs to stay together only to cheat? Fucking hippy cunthunter.
Is that what they were to you?
What a 'non-cunt'!
Well fuck me from behind with that pictured toaster, see if I am ever compassionate towards YOU again.
"pushing someone to be with you when you both know they don't want to be with you" - one of the most pathetic periods of my life was spent doing this. It makes me ill when I think of it. In my defense, the other party did tease me and give me just enough to keep me begging for more. I blame myself for being weak in the face of his temptation, though. (But again, in my defense, it's very hard to ward off physical affection when it's offered to your starving soul.)
Anyway, I spent the better part of A YEAR, which should have otherwise been one of the happiest times of my life, trying to force a relationship that just didn't want to begin. Oh if I could turn back time. But then I wouldn't be the brilliant cyberstalker you know & love today, right?
ah, kvelling. I am kvelling and plotzing.
I absolutely relate to what you're talking about at those times in your life. I really get it. I also love the fact that you appreciate what you went through because it is what made you who you are today, a cyberstalker that I am wildly in love with.
I mean that in the most non-offensive way.
you seem very grown up and well adjusted to me, doll face. even HEALTHY!
BITCH :)
First, relationships are like rivers. Some grow strong, some peter out, but they always run their courses.
Second, nothing is worse than pushing someone into a relationship. I had a friend who married a shiksa and while he wanted "the happily ever after with kids," she just wanted him to support her through her last semester of school and up to her next fulltime job.
He thought he could change her and she knew better the whole time, yet they both cajoled each other into a marriage that may have lasted a little under two years, but was effectively over right after the honeymoon.