Sunday, August 24, 2008

Wanna Fuck McCunt?

Okay beautiful babies, All the Way from Oy to Vey is endorsing and promoting the hell out of Obama and Biden.

No shit, right? Like you don't know I'm a lefty lucy?! As if you're new to my blog?! What am I, fucktarded underestimating my divine readers?! Forgive Jewgirl for her shortcomings, please. Grazarella.

So. News?! I am running a contest on my blog for September and October. Each month's winner will receive a dozen Bojamacakes (cupcakes), courtesy of the divine baking Goddess Jintrinsique, shipped to wherever the winner likes in the U.S.

Now that you're drooling. I am, too, by the by. Jintrinsique is sooooo talented in the baked goods department and quite a lovely dame, too. Packaged in exceptional design and presentation, each pastry will make your taste buds climax on the spot. PS: make sure you have wipes and a few paper towels when noshing.

Here's the dish to enter the "Wanna Fuck McCunt" Contest

1) Each week, a guest blogger will post an essay,= 500-1,000 words, or an audio podcast, or a video about an issue up for debate. Or a fact we can't find in mainstream press. Or that we aren't paying attention to and need to, outting McCunt for the cunt he really is, and defending the values Obama truly stands for and why he IS the only hope for America. I mean, seriously, yo. As if you disagree?!

2) Hold your horses, bubbies, I'm just getting started...

3) You have to use the word cunt three times in your essay, podcast or video. You can even create cunt variations. Here are a few cuntdeas: cunterific, cunterella, cunting whore, cuntola, whatever. Ya feel me, right? Fab. Moving along.

4) You know how much I love creating words, so in your essay, podcast or video, you must also create at least three words. Some of the words I've created over the years since we've been blogdating: McCunt, Bojamacakes, shrinktail, shrinkdating, vadgearincess... Hit the archives. 99.9% of my posts have Katie-create-a-words peppered throughout each post.

5) Irreverence, brilliance and ranting! Get it? Irreverence, brilliance and ranting! Got it? Irreverence, brilliance and ranting! Good.

6) Each week, I will post one guest blogger's essay, podcast or video with a link back to their site, as well as their bio (cross-posting is welcomed).

7) Whoever receives the most comments each month, wins a dozen Jintrinsique Bojamacakes. Votes will be talleyed on October 1st for all September entries, and November 1st for all October entries.

8) Send all essays, podcasts and videos to

9) Contest starts Monday, August 25th. Tell everyone you know to enter asssapy. Feel free to post the "Wanna Fuck McCunt" contest on your site. I want the first post up by Monday, September 1st. Oy, I'm demanding.

10) For inspiration, check out a few of these irreverent-as-hell political bloggers: The Daily Pitchfork, DCup, Mister-Mister's posts on RedBlueAmerica. Virgotex who also pointed me in the direction of this diva ThePoliticalCat and FranIAm who hooked me up with this fabareena PulpFriction. PS, yas are all invited to submit too, ya know. I'm just sayin'.

11) Loving...

12) Jewgirl

Photo credit goes to my good friend and fellow blogging pal Bubbsie over at Sprawling Ramshackle Compound. Grazie, bubbie.


Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I'm loving you giving the brother some blog love.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fran said...


Dale said...

Once again, Canada is not eligible, just like on Wheel of Fortune. How cunty.

Anonymous said...

For irreverence and funny, you also cannot beat my pal Watertiger at
Dependable Renegade

Katie Schwartz said...

Monkey Mucker, the man is fab-o-dreams. I'm behind him a hundy percent.

So, toots.... Ya gonna entah my contest ah what? Say, "Yes, Katie, Yes Katie, Yes, Katie."

Katie Schwartz said...

Right Frannylish!

Katie Schwartz said...

POTD, hilar. you're right. sorry. I heart you for using cunt.

Katie Schwartz said...

Thanks Virg. Are you going to enter, too, dahlink?! Ya damn well should

Katie Schwartz said...

frannygirl, are you entering??!?!?! You must

Cormac Brown said...

He should just do away with the "Mc," as he is surely Cain and America? Don't go into that field like Abel did.

Um, c*nt, c*nt, c*nt.

(dammit Katie, you know I don't use that word!)

Now where's me cupcakes, girlie? ; )

jin said...

Yay! I must pimp your contest at jintrinsique... I just woke up, gimme a few hours!

Oh and for the record:
I have great cupcakes!
Anyone to win the contest and get their hands on them is a very very lucky duck.

Mnmom said...

Cuntcakes you say???
Hmmm might be worth using that word I hate, but I hate McCunt more.

Anonymous said...

though i rarely use the "c-word" in any of my daily travails, i am liberal in the use of "poontang." in fact, "poontang" is one of the six greatest words ever invented, and you can even say it on television.

then again, "mcpoontang" doesn't have the same ring to it.

can i use "pudenda" instead? it's got such a better literary lineage to it, don't you think?

Travelingman Rick said...

Can I use McMunt? I am so all over this contest...maybe just maybe if I put my thinking cap on I can win those hot cupcakes! I love ya dahling.

DivaJood said...

Well, I think I shall give it a whirlygig.

Elizabeth Kaeton said...

I am soooo intimidated by this cuntest. The demands are so high - 500-1,000 word essay using three new words and using the word 'cunt' three times in the same essay?

Get the cuntout!

Besides, the cuntpetition is so fierce, and the rewards are so cuntastic! I mean a dozen cuntcups!

I am cuntworthy!

Fran said...

Elizabeth Kaeton TELP has given me the fucking vapors. I cunt say another word!

Katie Schwartz said...

Cormac, my onlineBFF4Evah, you do not have to use cunt. I don't want you to be uncomfy. Spin a new word, something you feel great about. Please enter. You'r brilliance is required.

PS: it would be nice if McCain dropped the "Mc" and just rolled out with "cunt".

Katie Schwartz said...

OKAY POINT BLANK, who deleted their comment?!?!?!?

Katie Schwartz said...

Jin, read your cross-post, posted it and LOVED IT.

The winner will PLOTZ and KVELL from your cupcakes! I am sooo jealous.

Katie Schwartz said...

mnmom, cuntcakes?!?!? OMG, I am howling. You must enter, diva. you are too funny not to.

Katie Schwartz said...

Bookfraud, YOU HAVE TO ENTER. You can use any word you want. Exquisite Corpse-- I want your wit and intelligence in this contest yesterday. Pudenda, vagina dentata, poontang, whatever you want, spill it, kid.

Katie Schwartz said...

TravelingMan, you MUST use McMunt! You have to. It is imperative. An entry from you would be a gift from the Gods. You are Bojamacake-ready, baby.

Spin that yarn, muffin top


Katie Schwartz said...

DivaJood, with your chutzpah, YOU MUST. This cuntest wouldn't be complete without your irreverence.

Katie Schwartz said...

Elizabeth Kaeton, I just fell in cunting love with you! You are cunterific squared, diva. I am howling, screaming and crying I'm lauhging so damn hard.

Katie Schwartz said...

PS: EK, I want an essay... please?!

Pain said...

We are in.

Bacon Lady said...

Jaysus H., where have I been?!

SO entering this contest! Do we post on our own blog or just send the entry to you?

(heh heh heh..."send the entry"...sounds like I want me a piece of some Katelah.)

Katie Schwartz said...

PAIN, I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON THE DAILY PITCHFORK. Can't wait to receive your pieces. You absolutely rock, baby.

Katie Schwartz said...

bacon lady, you must enter, darling. send me your irreverent soaked essay, Can't wait to post it and read it.


Elizabeth Kaeton said...

Darling, Katie,

If I ever "officially" entered this cutest I would be out of TEC on my friggin' . . . well, ass - or cunt - whichever hit the sacristy floor first. I swear.

I am going to be a lurker for a while, until I build up my courage - or get so blasted one night on Woodford's Bourbon that I don't give two figs - or whatever (there's got to be a cunt joke in there but I'm too lazy to find one).

This is the most irreverent site I've ever visited. Bar none.

Girl, I'm in lurve. Serious. Big Time. Big Lurve.

For a +50 y/o woman, I have just gotten used to being wet where I used to be dry and dry where I used to be wet. That's all changed now, and it's all you're fault.

Thank God it's still PC to blame everything on the Jews b/c I'm so frickin' tired of being responsible for everything that's wrong with the Anglican Communion as a woman and a lesbo!

Beyonce may be bootilicious but you are cuntilicious!

Word to your muthah!

Proud2bHumble said...

As a flaming heterosexual male who loves and respects womanhoods, and quite a man-aboat-town where dining is concerned, I must say I am intrigued and aghast at the ob(gyn)scene requirements of your contest, which you've made quite clitorus all. I'm quite intimately familiar twat your referring to, and I'd love to explore the length and breadth of the subject, but am afraid to enter on just a qwhim, and engorge your interest to the point of arousing expectations of fulfillment on your parts, which could quickly become a slippery slope to penetrating personal insides that will ultimately just leave a sticky mess for you to clean up. I know what you want me to say here, but I just cunt - Doh!!

...blame Tengrain, he sent me, sot of.

...and don't ask me if I'm in yet.


Katie Schwartz said...

EK, your comment is the best comment I have ever gotten in my life-- I blogged it, baby.

Please submit anonymously. Consider it. I have a pool of names I can create for you.

PS: "Thank God it's still PC to blame everything on the Jews b/c I'm so frickin' tired of being responsible for everything that's wrong with the Anglican Communion as a woman and a lesbo!" FUCKING BRILLIANT. I am in AWE OF YOU.

Katie Schwartz said...

Proud2BHumble, now that we've established you can seriously dine at the Y and live for it, I NEED (A) SUBMISSION FROM YOU, PLEASE. The sooner the better, thank you. And thank you for stopping by, muffintop.

Proud2bHumble said...

Tho naught usually the submissive, I'm feeling a bit gimpy here,
You're a ball,
gags and all,
as I stall with this missive,
to avoid seeming wimpy m'dear,
in your thrall,
submit I shall


KELSO'S NUTS said...

soon come

Katie Schwartz said...

Kelso, bubbie, send your entry to me, please. I superty appreciate it. I gots to post it here. I'm so fucking thrilled you're entering, yo.

Katie Schwartz said...

Proud2BeHumble, you are such a divine pussyhound. Ha. Alright child, I cunt wait to see your entry. estalk it over the minute it's done. I'm sure it will be the vulva lip twitching event of the century!

Anonymous said...

Shit. I'm starting to think my entry won't win. As a bonafide lesbian, I hope I get a 10 point bonus for actually rootin' around in so many of those wonderful love tacos in my day.


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