jessica simpson and john mayer

jessica simpson must give other wordly head. like I'm talking the ability to suck a bagel through an asian man's cock. otherwise how does this a union make?

Comments

Mountjoy said…
Now, now, Katie. You have to grow a penis and dose yourself with testosterone before you will understand this one:

Knobbing Jessica would be like knobbing your own Barbie; massive boobs, big brassy blonde hair, enormous suck-the-chrome-of-a-tow-ball mouth, and a vacuous head that you could fill with all manner of debauched bedroom suggestions, on the grounds that "it's okay honey, everyone does that these days..."

What guy that has blood flowing to his glans is gonna think that is a bad idea. Even if it's just for a month.
5:43 PM
Nicky said…
John Mayer is very deceptive. He sings all breathy and low about "your body is a wonderland" blah blah blah, "be good to your daughters" blah blah blah I am a sensitive man, but I think in reality he is just a frat boy with long shaggy hair and a rumpled vintage overshirt. So in that sense it's a good match.
6:24 PM
Writeprocrastinator said…
Hah-HAH!

Yeah, I don't get this relationship either, it should've been over a long time ago, unless she does something for inner high school nerd that he didn't quite grow out of.
8:27 PM
Lydia said…
Maybe they're just in love. It's possible to just be in love with someone stupid.
8:01 PM
Al Sensu said…
My vote is with Mountjoy.
8:13 PM
Romius T. said…
Mr. Mountjoy is correct. I thought the opposite. Who is this douchebag with Jess Jess?

I bet he looks like shit with his shirt off. Not a thing like that pile of man beef she was married to.

I mean I still think Jessica is hotter than her old husband , don't get me wrong. I am just saying..
11:23 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Danny Bonaduce's Creepy Peen

Image
I'm not sure what's more disturbing, the thrusting jacked sack. Or, his dirty orange palms color coordinated to match his freakpubes leading to the creepiest weepeen I've ever seen. And, I'm not even a size queen. Help me. I can't stop staring at it. Happy Halloweeeneeeee
Read more

Is This Cunty?

Image
The non-sequitur post from hell. If I was paying for an opinion, I'd fill out a survey or log into a Dr. Phil forum, or ask a friend. When I check-out at a store, all I want to be asked is, cash, credit or check? "Should you really be buying pretzels", wholey Foods clerkcunt asks. Between us, Glutino Pretzels are gluten/vegan free noshies ta'die for, and one of the greatest organic, diet worthy, health conscious foods created. Not to be eaten every day, but if you want to feel like you're having a real snack on a Saturday afternoon or whenever, they're delish. Back to clerkcunt. "How is the food I buy any of your business?" I asked. "I see you in here a lot and you always buy fresh veggies and fruit. I assumed you were on a diet. Why sabotage yourself?" I walked right over to a manager and said, "Your clerk is stalking me." After explaining what happened, he apologized. We walked back over to clerkcunt. The manager said "Ap...
Read more

Wanna Fuck McCunt?

Image
Okay beautiful babies, All the Way from Oy to Vey is endorsing and promoting the hell out of Obama and Biden. No shit, right? Like you don't know I'm a lefty lucy?! As if you're new to my blog?! What am I, fucktarded underestimating my divine readers?! Forgive Jewgirl for her shortcomings, please. Grazarella. So. News?! I am running a contest on my blog for September and October. Each month's winner will receive a dozen Bojamacakes (cupcakes), courtesy of the divine baking Goddess Jintrinsique , shipped to wherever the winner likes in the U.S. Now that you're drooling. I am, too, by the by. Jintrinsique is sooooo talented in the baked goods department and quite a lovely dame, too. Packaged in exceptional design and presentation, each pastry will make your taste buds climax on the spot. PS: make sure you have wipes and a few paper towels when noshing. Here's the dish to enter the "Wanna Fuck McCunt" Contest 1) Each week, a guest blogger will post an e...
Read more