one for the books


my mom is in the middle of a move.
my friend crionaberry was telling me about a deep tissue massage she had this evening.
so, when my mom called to discuss how sore she was, I said, ma, you should go get yaself fondled.
I'm tired ---ok--- it's been a long fucking week. it was a slip o' the tongue. not a fantasy, creepies.
my mom said, what the hell are you talking about?
I said, ma, you know what I mean. a massage. go get a massage.
she asked, and the fondling?
I said, well that's really none of my business, now is it?

we both howled.
how-wled.

I know. shut the fuck up, katie.

all lips are sealed.
good night, gracie.

Comments

Dale said…
I read the first line as My mom's in the middle of a movie. I thought, wow, that Katie's mom, she's some fucking talented.
9:18 AM
Coaster Punchman said…
My mama would slap me if I talked to her like that.

BTW, I promise my meme that you so demurely demanded of me is on the way.

CP
10:12 AM
Katie Schwartz said…
gee, daelish, wouldn't that be tits to the tenth.
10:26 AM
Katie Schwartz said…
thank you, coaster. tell me when it's up!
10:26 AM
Al Sensu said…
Therapuetic massage is great -- I have it every three weeks and would go weekly if I could afford it.

Erotic massage ain't bad either.
1:20 PM
Katie Schwartz said…
sensu, isn't that called a rub and tug?
6:00 PM
Anonymous said…
i LOVE those conversations, often rare and priceless, between mother and daughter where, just for that moment, they're both WOMEN, not family.

Great little tidbit into your family, K

x
7:21 PM
Al Sensu said…
Schwartzie, you are def tuned in. Yes, some crass people say "rub and tug" and others say "happy ending." Just oil it up and let it squirt.
10:09 PM
Katie Schwartz said…
me too, honey smack. it's so jarring, but in the very best way.

xo
7:32 AM
Katie Schwartz said…
sweet, sensu. grazie
7:33 AM
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