Katie Schwartz

I've been catching up on my zealot christian reading of late, a super passion of mine as we all well know and I've noticed that when women talk about themselves, it feels like they're describing a used, yet reliable tractor. for some reason, this is of great concern to me. not because women have to be shiny and blingy like a new john deere. on the contrary. I've never read a zcw (zealot christian woman's) blog expounding about her beauty, comfort with herelf, passion or sensuality. it's more like, well, a used yet reliable tractor. common words used to describe themselves are, submissive, hard working, modest, organized, thorough, systematic, practical and sensible. this is all well and good, but why not fly in a teaspoon of passion or a twist of oomph?! is that un-godly? new topic . I'm menstruating! I got my menses yesterday afternoon riback and romius . wait, did I post about my menses last month? I hope I didn't forget. could I really have been th...

Baby boomer Clinton goes to bat for TV Land By Paul J. Gough March 26, 2007 "As you know, my wife is away, so I'm home alone a lot," Clinton said of Sen. Hillary Clinton, who is running for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2008. "I'm particularly grateful to TV Land for giving me something to do at night." ok, that's a joke, right? the part about being home alone a lot and not having anything else to do but watch tv land. there isn't a heterosexual liberal lolita out there who doesn't want to suck or fuck bill's bat. I'm probably the only fat jew dame in the free fuckin world who hasn't been granted the privilege of being his oral service provider. what am I? chopped livah! I will SO dress up as lucy and he can play hoss and we can fuck on dirt. or, I can suck him while he rides in on his big boy horse.

jessica simpson must give other wordly head. like I'm talking the ability to suck a bagel through an asian man's cock. otherwise how does this a union make?

jessica simpson donated a free minivan to an orphanage in mexico . "I'm so honored and happy to be able to help," said Simpson, who hugged Mama Lupita and the throng of kids who had waited anxiously to see her and presented her with gifts, including an engraved plaque with a photo of the kids and a beaded necklace they'd made for her. A spokesperson for Chrysler confirmed: "Instead of the Chrysler Crossfire, she decided to get a minivan for the orphanage instead. She went for the Chrysler Town & Country." what does she do for an encore, deliver the used toilet paper from her ass? if you're going to give a shitty a gift, go the distance and give a shitty gift.

my new friend sheel, e-stalked me and turned me onto some fabulous blogs and such. she's quite an irreverent bird. we need to hock her to write a fucking blog... she does guest blog on jesus general . she's going to be sending some groovy beaver satire links, too. can't wait! remember my dove post ? well, one news now posted their great disdain for dove's ad and how offensive it is. check it out courtesy of sheelicious. sheel, check out politits . ya'll love ha. she's a jew broad who spins many a satirical yarn. ps: she sent me this fab fucking link to modest swimwear for the zealot set.

this is so wrong on every single level, I can't even begin to tell you. so lilly had a moment, please, like it warranted THAT abuse. someone has too much money and too much time. we won't say who.

Frederick Von Anhalt, Howard Stern and Larry Birkhead have all claimed to be the fathers of one severely rich infant. whatever. I've decided that I want in. so, I'm a chick... with a vagina... a few ovaries and a womb. who says I can't be the father?! so she lubes her face a little. grease face could be all the rage in my clit-to-cock-make-me-rich fantasy. anything is possible! why the fuck hasn't anyone come forward claiming that the fruit of anna's loins is actually jfk's kid?! hello, frozen sperm... marlyn-monroe?!?! you feel me?