Monday, March 10, 2008

Oh, Oh, Oh, I Almost Forgot


Today while dishing with my accountant's assistant, I asked, "Can I fax my tax dish over instead of dropping it off?"

He said, "Oh, sure, honey, no problem. Who is this?"

I said, "Katie Schwartz."

He said, "Fabulous! Fax it on over, HARRY."

Admittedly, I was perplexed and said, "I'm not Harry, I'm Katie Schwartz."

I kid you not, he said, "Yes, I know, Harry."

Jaw dropped, so like a dumb ass, I asked, "Is there someone in the office with you who thinks you're dishing with a Harry?"

He said, "No, it's just me."

I was so fuckin' irritated, I said, "WELL, I'M NOT HARRY. I'M KATIE."

And he said, "Yeah, I know."

Is it fucktard Monday?! For the love....

Again, I asked, "Why do you keep calling me Harry?"

He said, "I don't know."

THAT MADE ME SCREAM. HOW HILAR IS THAT?!

Now, I'm wondering, do I have a huskyish, maley voice? I thought I sounded like a chick. Cormac? Guthy? Do I sound like a woman or a man, give it to me straight. I can take it.


PS: Frannylish, I am doing the middle name meemish tomorrow.

10 comments:

Eebie said...

Amazing isn't it? It's not just accountants and engineers which I know the best, it's freakin' everyone and somehow it amazes me that they think nothing of it. Even when the day comes that it happens to them and they are offended, they feel nothing doing it to someone else. Stunning isn't it.

As for the husky voice, we've never dished via phone, but if you've got that sexy, Melissa Ethridge like, raspy sound, could you leave me a voicemail for when I get lonely...

Writeprocrastinator said...

No way do you sound like a man! Not even if you smoked three cartons of cigarettes and downed a bottle of Jack, straight!

His brain was probably deep-fried, as most in that profession are this time of the year. That, or...

"Fabulous! Fax it on over, HARRY."

He was doin' something onanistic with a pic of one of the royal offspring.

Anonymous said...

Accountant's do not 'cast their seed upon the ground', they'll do the ex sister-in-law given half the chance - according to GAAP anyway.
And who said Accountancy can't be enjoyable?

Anonymous said...

I passed the UFE* in two countries, I know these things.

*UFE = Uniform Fucking Exam.

Anonymous said...

You know, doing your own tax is very easily accomplished.
I can learn you.
I can learn you real good.

bookfraud said...

this poor sod is so confused. methinks he had a different phone on each ear.

i can't say if you have a man-voice or man-hands or if you're mantastic, but to me and everyone else here, you're all woman, katie.

Beth said...

I hope he wasn't calling you "Hairy."

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

That is a scream. For years I went through a phase where I called all bartenders "Jimmy." Some would get pissed, others just accepted it.

FranIAm said...

I need to hear your voice, like right now.

Harry. It is very jewy.

And you know that I say that with a lot of love. As my friend Debi (who lives near you and is a jewgirl and a writer and you should meet) always says I am the jewiest goy.

Harreleh!

Winter said...

I laughed, I'm sorry.

 

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