Dishing Veganism
I am TEMPORARILY vegan, carb free and sugar free, which means I eat fuck all and live in a perpetual state of frustration and starvation. I'm ready to spit twice and die. I haaate this diet. No, really, I hate it with a passion. I have never been more unsatisfied and more disgusted with food in my life. I actually have to force myself to eat-- me, a food whore, has to get-it-up to open the refrigerator.
Here's what I've learned so far:
- It sucks mothah fuckin' ass
- The food choices are limited and vile on a good day
- I don't like the texture or taste of tofu (and I'm a vegetarian) unless it's masked, cloaked and disguised exceptionally well
- mock cheese doesn't melt and tastes disgusting
- Because it's trendy, many people pronounce vegan, vaaygan. Oh-the-shame.
- I can't wait to be a vegetarian again
- On a positive note, my mind feels clearer and my body feels energized because what I'm putting into it is pure fuel. If I look at food as energy instead of as a luxury item, there is a lot of validity to being vaaaaaygan
Anyone who can commit to a vegan lifestyle and feel happy doing so, kudos to you. I am in awe of your strength and willpower. One of my brother's is a vegan and he loves it. Kid's a hero. I couldn't do it for life. No way. No how. Not evah. I'm just sayin'.
Comments
I went to a famous acupuncturist in Brookline MA (Dr. CHang), he said, "what you eat"? "Let me smell breath",
"let me take pulse", "aha, I have diagnoses."
"You need eat some meat and oils, protien. Dont listen stupid people."
He was right, I started feeling better at once. Twice, or three times a week, meat.
Meat.
If the food is proper, I love veg/vegan, but I like protein combos like brown rice and eggs!
I hate the raw foods thing...crazy people are whack to boot.
When you're off this diet I'll treat you to a delicious apple and sharp cheddar omelette.
Hang in there, precious! I might just follow you down this path, but only temporarily.
Of course, this is coming from someone who's main source of protein comes in the form of bacon. Delicious, delicious bacon...
Now pardon me. My beef stew is ready.
I say not in a million years
You say vee-gan
I say not in a million fucking years
Vee-gan
No way
Vee-gan
You're high
Let's call the whole thing off
also, vaaygan rhymes with reagan, as in the president. and he never lived a day without a steak, and look what happened to him.
if you're a vegan, does that mean the end of vodka?
but it's good your mind is clearer and your body feels energized. it's been a long time since i felt that way.
You're not, are you?
energised!
I think I could be a VADGEAN for the rest of the Afterlife.