from papa schwartz



NEW DEMOCRATIC BUMPER STICKERS FOR '08


1. Bush: End of an Error

2. That's OK, I Wasn't Using My Civil Liberties Anyway

3. Let's Fix Democracy in this Country First

4. If You Want a Nation Ruled By Religion, Move to Iran.

5. Bush. Like a Rock. Only Dumber.

6. If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President

7. Of Course It Hurts: You're Getting Screwed by an Elephant

8. Hey, Bush Supporters: Embarrassed Yet?

9. George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids Will Have to Fight

10. Impeachment: It's Not Just for Blow Jobs Anymore

11. America: One Nation, Under Surveillance

12. They Call Him "W" So He Can Spell It

13. Whose God Do You Kill For?

14. Jail to the Chief

15. No, Seriously, Why Did We Invade Iraq?

16. Bush: God's Way of Proving Intelligent Design is Full Of Crap

17. Bad President! No Banana.

18. We Need a President Who's Fluent In At Least One Language

19. We're Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them

20. Is It Vietnam Yet?

21. Bush Doesn't Care About White People, Either

22. Where Are We Going? And Why Are We In This Hand basket?

23. You Elected Him. You Deserve Him.

24. Dubya, Your Dad Should'a Pulled Out, Too

25. When Bush Took Office, Gas Was $1.46

26. Pray For Impeachment

27. The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11th Century

28. What Part of "Bush Lied" Don't You Understand?

29. One Nation Under Clod

30. 2004: Embarrassed. 2005: Horrified. 2006: Terrified

31. Bush Never Exhaled

32. At Least Nixon Resigned...

Comments

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said…
Papa Schwartz rocks the fucking world.
9:16 PM
Freida Bee said…
This is a collection of eloquence!
9:56 PM
J.D. said…
Brillante!
2:49 AM
Distributorcap said…
you mean bush is not a good president

l'shana tovah
3:02 AM
Writeprocrastinator said…
Amazingly, I haven't seen numbers five through ten in San Francisco, plus about a dozen other of the bumperstickers.

I'd laugh, except some of them aren't jokes anymore, as much as they've become absurd facts.

Hey, I've got the pick-up line for you for the High Holys...

If you've got the Challah, I've got the honey...







...oh, that bad, huh?
7:09 AM
Evil Spock said…
Would you like to run Evil Spock's 2012 campaign? Evil Spock needs a good propaganda ministeress . . .
12:27 PM
Madam Z said…
Omigod! I'm going to have to get 31 more cars so I can display all these bumper stickers. Papa Schwartz is divine!
3:06 PM
Anonymous said…
A people get the president they deserve.

I liked:

"What spreads faster than radiation? Jane Fonda!"

A bit dated but still funny. Just like:

"More people have died in Ted Kennedy's car than in nuclear power plants"

Again a bit dated.
I lost contact with pop culture in 1976 - sue me!
4:53 PM
Anonymous said…
The third person should be used for exactly that, third people. People who refer to themselves in the third person should be eaten by rats. "Come and sit on Santa's knee". I don't fucking think so. It's "come and sit on MY knee", you fat, old beardy cunt.
4:57 PM
Coaster Punchman said…
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That made my evening1
8:28 PM
Katie Schwartz said…
ya's are all so fabulous... your comments rock.

wp, that is the best pick up line evah.

rhetsky, very funny.

evil spock, YES! YES! YES!
9:49 PM
KELSO'S NUTS said…
#17 is the best Bush crack I've heard yet.
5:34 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SPEAKING OF ABORTIONS

Image
Menses just commenced. It's 1:14 AM. I was asleep. That felt good. At 12:24, I popped up. I think I'm awake, maybe awakeish is more accurate. I'm always surprised when those handy-soapy-foamy-bottles run out of soap. For some lame ass reason, it never occurs to me that they ever will. They feel so lifetime supply , even though the bottles aren't more than 8 inches tall. Similarly, when I flip on a light switch and the light flickers to its death, I think "Now what?" Duh, schmuckette, you change the fucking light bulb . Intellectually, I know this, yet for some odd reason, it never comes to mind. In fact, a few years ago, my mother walked into my house and said, "Why aren't the lights working?" I said "I don't know, I flick the switch and they don't work." After a fit of uproarious laughter, she said, "Would it kill you to change the light bulb?” Hmmm. "No", I shamefully responded. I wonder why... it is that I hav...
Read more

Best Spam Evaaaaaaaaaaah -UPDATE-

Image
Look what I found in my box today?! Aside from the fact that I'm a VADGE and there is a glaring typo " fie" instead of " fine" , they've made this dame a raging cunt- hate that (and her high, tight rack. Bitch ). Women don't behave this way. Women aren't cunty. Women don't emasculate men. That is not how we roll, yo. UPDATE : From the fabulous and flawless MonkeyMucker : Actually hon that's not a typo. the word "fie" is a somewhat rare wordthat is used to denote scorn or used in place of a swear or curse word.It was more popular in the old days, like say during the 16th thru 19th centuries . Who knew?! I had no idea. Simianboy, you're a wealth of knowledge. Grazie. Penis enlargement patches also do not work. If you want to keep your junk intact, don't be stickin' things in it, or on it that can damage the meat bat. Don't let anyone make you feel badly about your manhood, either. It's your dick, live it. Love it....
Read more

Get Listen Up

Image
Have you seen the infomercial for Get Listen Up ? I thought the idea of a product that turns "Ordinary hearing into Extroidinary hearing" was too camp for words. In the mersh, a hospitable narrator takes you through all kinds of folks using it in church, hunting, watching television, listening to your spawn on the playground, all doable, right? Right. I was sold, too. Until.... my friendly narrator lady said "Listen to what your neighbors are saying about you." Okay, creeparella, how very big brother. Watch the mersh . Doreen sent me a kick ass, smart ass article this week in the NY Times called, " Skin Deep - Hey, Mom, the Rabbi Approved my Tattoo ". Speaking of Diva Doreen, I finished her flawless, brilliant book Queen of the Road (it's tits to the tenth, children) and she's graciously allowed me to interview her. I'll be posting that this week and you will love every word. Frannylish sent me, in her words an "oy gevalt" article ...
Read more