I come here today my friends not to bury John McCain, but to praise him. To share a tender loving family values snibble of time that I hope transcends politics. You see my friends the presidential campaign trail is long and hard, like a penis, and at one point on that long, hard, soul sucking, maverick busting into party yes man presidential campaign trail, John's loving wife Cindy came up to him, ran her beerlicous fingers through his hair and said, "You're getting a little thin up there." A moment of tender humanity in the loveless inhuman world that is American presidential politics. "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt" Is what John McCain said by way of reply. I'm not making that up. Three reporters witnessed it. God that's hot. I bet they had steaming sex that night. White-hot nuclear powered cuntaramic sex until that makeup ran down Cindy McCain's face like water through a hydroelectric dam. Which means it...
I am heartbroken... I did not make lisa whelchel's favorite blogs list. fuck. fuck. mother fuck. that fucking sucks. gaaahd. what the fuck do I have to do to get in this bitch's good graces. for the love of jesus mary and josephina.
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Hey, she'd have to explain to the E-van-jerk-als why she links to a "heathen's" blog and that they would then, burn her for being a heretic. You know and I know that she comes here five times a day for her Katie fix.
I steered way clear of the maylay because "Hearts at Home" means "This the only 2 hours my husband will let me out the house by myself". The place surely reeked of righteous indignation and spontaneous prayer vigils.
Had I known she would have been there, I would have hitched up the stroller and headed out for a photo op.
For you.
Because you're cool like 'dat.