random shit
I've been thinking about pick-up lines today. I'd love to go up to a man at a bar and say, know where I can find an std as fine as you? I'd also like to say to a gardener, I'm looking for a mild vaginal infection, what can I plant in my canal to grow one?
I said a had a pulse, not that I was right in the head.
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It worked and I've been making his life miserable ever since.
Now he begs me to do him for even a second! (joke. I give him five minutes before my mind starts wandering. After ten minutes, he gets the hook - I've got shit to do!)
That, and "free moustaches rides."
From one of Procrastinator Junior's fave cartoons, "Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends":
"Do you have a roadmap? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes."
The only line that works is..."I just sold my company for 800 million dollars, but before you get excited understand that it is 400 million after taxes. Still, don't you think 400 million is worth celebrating?"