Thursday, February 08, 2007

so much for higher learning

you too can take college courses in cleaning toilets and learn the fine art of toilet hygiene from inside out.

whether it's a quarterly class or a semester class, isn't that too much time? how much toilet cleaning ground can you possibly cover? I wonder if you can easily adapt it to other cleaning art forms. way to give hungry minds something to aspire to! that's the spirit.

what's your kid studying?


proctology! ambitious.

no. hydro-toyology.

my favorite excerpts from the malaysia weighs college bathroom courses article are:

is meant to help Malaysia's public lavatories become as hygienic as those in countries such as Britain and Singapore, Deputy Housing and Local Government Minister Robert Lau was quoted as saying by Bernama news agency.

"Clean toilets cannot merely be judged by the eyes," Lau was quoted as saying. "This matter also involves the use of cleaning equipment, soap, fragrances and proper tissues."

Malaysia's government recently said it wanted to start a "toilet revolution" in a country where public restrooms have long nauseated citizens and tourists with their lack of basic items such as toilet paper, soap and sometimes even toilet seats.

toilet revolution? can't you just see his hands raised a la castro or saddy. oy vey.

ps:: this toilet yarn is so up guth goddess's alley. amers, take it away... flush and the land is ours. bathrooms from a book tour.


Eric Riback said...

They should take a lesson from the good ol' U S of A. After all, we're in the toilet.

Anonymous said...

I have some property managers that I'd be happy to ship over to teach courses on potty perfection.

They're well-trained and detail-oriented. They're real experts. Just ask them. They'd be happy to tell you what experts they are.

Amy Guth said...

HAHAHAHA. What am I reading? I have a Malaysia-livin' pal that I will speak to immediately about this.

David Byck said...

Hi … David here. I’m Amy’s friend in Malaysia. I love your blog today. It was right on the mark. In fact, the public toilets are so bad that sometimes I choose a restaurant based on the cleanliness of the toilet. You know, just in case.

And yes, you wouldn’t go into one without your own tissue.


Johnny Yen said...

I love the Jesus toilet paper!

I'm assuming you're a Kinky Friedman fan? The first and only Jewish Texan Country Western star, and recent Texas Governor candidate (he got over 12% of the vote!)? He's got a great song called "They Ain't Makin' Jews Like Jesus Anymore." In the song, a Jew stands up to a redneck in a bar fight, and the redneck laments "they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore/they don't turn their other cheek the way they done before..."

Writeprocrastinator said...

You spoil Louie too much and therefore, I hate all dog owners! ; P

What the hey, it's an equally logical progression.

No, seriously, I'm jealous. I've never gotten to be the singular excuse for someone's disdain of anything. Maybe someone will blame me for all of the procrastinators that came before me and after me.

In case you didn't know, one deluded person might not care for you, but the rest of us love you.

Writeprocrastinator said...

Whoops, the above post belongs in the subject above this one.

Katie Schwartz said...

riback, I love your satire, it's so sardonic!

Katie Schwartz said...

oooh, d-goddess, nice. such a wise ass ;)

Katie Schwartz said...

guth, do you believe?! too much.

Katie Schwartz said...

david, omg, I can't believe that. why are the bathrooms so poorly maintained? you schlep your own tp? that is incredible. everything else is clean except the bathrooms? wild.

Katie Schwartz said...

oh, yes, yensky, simply because he's a trip and a half. that name, kinky. can you imagine?! it's so befitting.

Mountjoy said...

"is meant to help Malaysia's public lavatories become as hygienic as those in countries such as Britain"


Public toilets in the UK are renowned as hang out for homosexual radio announcers, paedophiles, and drug dealers.

That is one hell of a bar to be aiming for.


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