Monday, March 20, 2006

the laundrette shnatzi

my sister and I did our laundry last night.

while we were taking our clothes out of the dryer, a german shantzi sans undies in cargo pants walked by our folding station and said, "somevon put zayr svetah in my dlyah. zay aren't getting it back."

Kerri and I looked at each other like, ok.

when he took his clothes out of the dryer and over to his folding station, my sister whispered, "that's my sweater. he's got my sweater. it's my favorite sweater. let it go. he can keep the sweater."

I said, "no way. I'm gettin' that sweater back."

I walked over to him and picked up the sweater and said, "that's my sweater. I'm very sorry that I accidentally put it in your dryer."

he freaked out and tossed his towels around, "you changed za temprachur of my dryer. you cost me time I cannot get back."

why would he want to keep a dirty jew sweater, you know?!

I put down one dollar in quarters and said, "here's a dollar for your trouble." he shook his head and glared at me, so I threw down another 50 cents.

I ran over to my sister and said, "let's get out of here. he's comin' for us."

we flew outta that laundrette.

who knew hostage negotiation was so stressful. 1,50 to get OUR SWEATER back. the shame. the god damned shame!


Anonymous said...

Hey, we're talking about a country where vacuuming is permitted only during certain times of the day and your outdoor lights cannot exceed the wattage deemed permissible by the goverment.

Der mixin' of der sveater ist der equeevalent of pessing on der schoen. Ja?

Anonymous said...

People can be such assholes!
I agree, Write, I can't hammer nails in my own house without some gap-toothed, uneducated idiot threatening to call the cops. Some country, eh?

Anonymous said...

I meant Germany, but we're not that far behind in terms of having every aspect of lives regulated beyond both common sense and freedom.

Anonymous said...

That is hilar!!!!!!! LOVING


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