Katie Schwartz

Why do I want to be your president? Because goddamn it, I've earned it. Hell, I was an admiral's son, I didn't have to go to goddamn Vietnam, get shot down and deal with all those goddamn sadistic gook prison guards. No, I went because my prick of a father and his asshole of a father were goddamn admirals, for Christ's sake, and I had no choice but to pay off the poker bet I made with them and join the goddamn Navy. And after five years of eating goddamn rats and getting poked up the ass with hot bamboo sticks, then I gotta return to the states to a limping gimp of a wife who got herself fucked up in a car accident and got all fat on me? The cunt ended up with an ass on her the width of a Volkswagen, and after all I'd been through at the Hanoi Hilton, I was expected to come home and fuck that fat cunt? Hell, no! Then I met Cindy, who was hotter'n a two dollar pistol and her dad owned a beer factory. Why did I dump my fat ass first wife and get with Cindy? Bec...

I found some interesting tidbits online today JewsForObama.com . I like what I've read so far. @NPRPolitics on Twitter posted this tidbit: Sarah Palin: New Face of Feminism . Check it out. I'm crushing hard on From the Left at the minee. It might very well be that he is more irreverent than I am. Who knew?! More keywords found yesterday that I simply had to post: Avril Looks Like Chris Crocker - Hmm... Perhaps they do have an uncanny resemblance. I haven't given it much thought. Craigslist Adult Diapers - Again w/the porn, oy. Cuntessa - Why yes, I am honored, thanks. Who is Mickey Avalon's Wife - I don't know, but I looooove the song Jane Fonda

Shalom loverboys and lovergirls... So far TravelingManRick's essay McMunt's Idea of Health Care Reform has logged 5 votes! Today is the last day to vote, so click on over here and vote, vote, vote . Every vote counts, children. Other spillable dish, I percolated a fine Ethiopian blend this morning that I'm happily sipping with non-dairy creamer. Yeah, I like a caramel cup'a Joe. I miss sugar hard . The fake shit'll kill yas. The organic shit makes me neesh. Ohjjjvell. I'm PMS'ng. I have more errands to run today than a crack whore raising cash for a fix. I should clean today, really I should. I can't be bothered. I have too much to do and it's already 9:30. I've been up since the crack'a my ass. I've been reading all kinds of dish on my lefty lovin blogs (check my blog roll), as well as discovering some fine new reads slamming the snatcherella and loving every fucking word . I am off to brush/floss and shower. I love flossing... my tee...

Once again it's time for keywords Katie Schwartz's blog is coming up on. God forbid my blog come up on my name Katie Schwartz , God forbid. Vintage Pussy - Again with the geriatric porn, oy. Big Vagina's - If we're talking about Coco's cavernous taco, sure. Otherwise, not so much. Palin - what? A fundamentalist incapable of running our country? Still believes abstinence education is the way to go? Won't talk to the media because she has nothing to speak about regarding policy? Palin is a cunterella? What? What? What? All The Way From Oy To Vey - Awww. That is the name of my blog. Banned from Craigslist - One of my posts years and years ago. Dirty Ass - Not my tuchas. I wipe thoroughly and shower daily. McCunt Pussy Eating Contest - McCunt ESSAY contest . Oy yoy yoy. Christian Domestic Discipline - One post three years ago. For the love... Craigslist Personal Asset Beauty - Huh?! Bristol is the Mother of Trig - I do believe that so hard . My Tits Weigh ...

Yes, I know, I'm behind on blogging and reading all yer fabbylicious blogs. You're on today's "To Do" list. I had to go out of town unexpectedly for two-days. You know how it goes, children. It is soo hot in Shlock Anj today and dry as a bone. A histamine diva's dream come true. Geez Louise. I see lots of comments for my boy Travelingman Rick's hilarsquared essay McMunt's Idea of Health Care Reform and I'm very pleased about that. Remember, children, you have until Monday moreeen to vote, at which time I will be posting my girl PulpFriction's PSA. While I was away, I received some kick ass essays that made me scream so hard, my abs got a genuWINE workout. I have a few spots left for October, so submit, submit, submit : essays, audio, video or cartoons. Vatever you wish, I will happily take. I did not watch the rePUBEican convention. I was plenty nauseous and couldn't bear feeling more neesh than I already felt. I read the recaps, though.

This is entirely too funny not to pass on

During my silly little drive on the way to lunch today, I tuned into the ever fabulous NPR to listen in on the latest in the land of liberalism hoping to get informed in a Martha Stewarty kind of way. You know, like when you get more information than the human brain can process, but some crazy OCD freak can spit out as easily as Hillzilla breathing fire down Obama's backside. Okay, it seems that McMunt has this little health care plan for America that NO one is talking about, especially those crazy PUMA cunts who are still blathering about "She Won, She Won!" Cry. Me. A. Rivvah. please! Well my dears it seems that the plan is pretty stupid, go figure. Highlights for the uninformed: McMunt would change the "Tax Free" status of health coverage provided by employers and replace it with tax credits up to $2500 for individuals and $5000 for families. What does this mean? Well it means if your employer provides you with insurance you are now going to have to pay taxe...