Katie Schwartz

NEW DEMOCRATIC BUMPER STICKERS FOR '08 1. Bush: End of an Error 2. That's OK, I Wasn't Using My Civil Liberties Anyway 3. Let's Fix Democracy in this Country First 4. If You Want a Nation Ruled By Religion, Move to Iran. 5. Bush. Like a Rock. Only Dumber. 6. If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President 7. Of Course It Hurts: You're Getting Screwed by an Elephant 8. Hey, Bush Supporters: Embarrassed Yet? 9. George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids Will Have to Fight 10. Impeachment: It's Not Just for Blow Jobs Anymore 11. America: One Nation, Under Surveillance 12. They Call Him "W" So He Can Spell It 13. Whose God Do You Kill For? 14. Jail to the Chief 15. No, Seriously, Why Did We Invade Iraq? 16. Bush: God's Way of Proving Intelligent Design is Full Of Crap 17. Bad President! No Banana. 18. We Need a President Who's Fluent In At Least One Language 19. We're Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them 20. Is It Vietnam Yet? 21. ...

A few days ago, I wrote about Big Vaginas , remember? Today, Bubbsie sent me the most fabulous link about the dangers of vaginal rejuvenation . FINALLY broads get to see that there really is a downside and that our wadgeys are fine just as God created them. When I asked him if I could post it, he said, " Of COURSE you should post it! That's why I sent it to you--I get clowns and perverts, you get vagina's ." Is that hilar squared or what?!

The High Holidays are upon us Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur . This is my favorite time of year. I get way too inside my head and my heart. Oy, do I peel the layers. I cleanse. I clean. I organize. I reflect about the choices I've made, the people in my life, where I'm going, where I've been, who and what I've lost. So, so, so much to ponder. This year feels different for many reasons. Some I know about and others I don't--not yet, anyway. The Kaddish , a prayer for the dead, has always been one of my favorite prayers. This year, reciting it will feel different, too. I just know that. Guthy is Jewcying all month about the High Holidays. Be sure to hit it daily and read her wonderful posts and don't forget to comment. Yesterday's post, " Sit, Already, and Have a Little Something " is filled with fabulous, funny heebaliciousness. Today's post, " Kindly, with Open Eyes? " is about tolerance and pausing for a quick shalom. Run. Nosh. Now....

I'm hawkin for the meshpucha on this eve of Rosh. My fabulous baby brother Nick created a tool on Facebook called iPredict . Kid's a genius. Adorable. 21-- Just turned, donchya know. Do you remember your 21st birthday?! Who does. This is the sweetest tool. You can predict the future. What's bad? You'll have a little fun, a good laugh and be a mensch all in one simple little click. Run. Review. Now . Tell all the teeny and twenty-something's you know all about it. Grazie.

We all know how Katie feels about a split pookie. It's just wrong on every level. Ain't nobody need to see a dame's lips literally pierced to her pants. The world knows ya got em'. When the pants fall there isn't a big reveal. However, with proper grooming and an air of mystery, it could be the pookiestravaganza event of the year. Coco is another story. She was born to exude her cavernous taco. It would be rude not to recognize and support that commitment. I'm actually talking about something quite different. The dame who wears... I can't even say it. Ok, ready, set... leggings . PS: She also listens to Michael Bolton. This same leggings bird features her VAGINA in a way that makes her vadge look bulbous, like a drunken Bukowski nose. To accentuate the massive box even more , she wears a slinky top. I'm not trying to be cunty here, but the legging vadge I saw yesterday was like nothing I have ever seen in my life. She's a shorty like me. She's p...

The High Holidays are upon us. Guthy is writing again on Jewcy . She wrote a spectacular post about this most introspective time for our people. Run. Read. Learn. It's absolutely beautiful. " All I wish I could Say in a Sentence When Asked to do so " Have you downloaded the FIRST ISSUE of Astonishing Adventures Magazine ? You have got to read it. There are over 180 pages of no joke pulp art and writing. There's a great mix of up and coming and established writers. The stories are so, so, sooooo well written. The art is sexy pulp squared. Over 5,000 downloads so far! The positive reviews have been pouring in. Are you plotzing?! AAM has skyrocketed straight to the top. You've got to read it. PS:: Cormac Brown's piece "Tit for Tat" (page 28) is so divine, it will run chills up your spine. It's a swoony yarn, my friends. Run. Read. Now.

I have decided that little dogs are Pussy Pooches . My mother was telling me about this couture canine store she read about that sells, are you ready? WIGS FOR DOGS : long and blond. Bouffant fire engine red. Sultry black bobs. The whole nine yards. The shame...