Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Big Vaginas

We all know how Katie feels about a split pookie. It's just wrong on every level. Ain't nobody need to see a dame's lips literally pierced to her pants. The world knows ya got em'. When the pants fall there isn't a big reveal. However, with proper grooming and an air of mystery, it could be the pookiestravaganza event of the year. Coco is another story. She was born to exude her cavernous taco. It would be rude not to recognize and support that commitment.

I'm actually talking about something quite different. The dame who wears... I can't even say it. Ok, ready, set... leggings. PS: She also listens to Michael Bolton. This same leggings bird features her VAGINA in a way that makes her vadge look bulbous, like a drunken Bukowski nose. To accentuate the massive box even more, she wears a slinky top. I'm not trying to be cunty here, but the legging vadge I saw yesterday was like nothing I have ever seen in my life.

She's a shorty like me. She's petite and her vagina was THREE TIMES HER SIZE. She wasn't playing peeny-stash. This was an actual vagina. She wasn't wearing a menstrual pad. She uses plugs. This was her God given VAGINA and it was GINORMOUS. Impossible to miss and definitely intimidating. If I were a man, I'd want a wing man to ensure my safe return, that's how huge it was.

Moving right along... On a far more important note, our beloved Bubbsie has a heavy heart. Be a mensch and send him warmth and loving thoughts. He's always there for us when we need him to lift our spirits, make us laugh and impart a pearl. Run. Go. Now.


Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

As Larry Garlin sez in Curb, "Those big vagina ladies have been getting away with murder for years!"

Romius T. said...

I am disturbed by exaggerated genetallia!

Beth said...

You saw me on the street and didn't say hello?

Joe said...

I am pleased to be mentioned in a post titled "Big Vaginas", but only after Michael Bolton. Heh heh heh.


Anonymous said...

I for one enjoy the pouting plump pudenda at every opportunity!
You're just jealous Katertot!

Evil Spock said...

Tim Gunn, those queer guys, or Clinton and Stacy needs to set the world straight with the stretchy pants and out-of-control-camel-toe.

Writeprocrastinator said...

And I was just thinking last week...

Tell me how am I supposed to blog without youuuuuu!

I'm so glad to have you back!

Anonymous said...

This description of the split vaginal bulge has a name in Canada. We call it "camel toe" and pity those who create one. :)

Katie Schwartz said...

I didn't see that episode, simian. that's some funny ass shit.

thank you, romius. agreed.


bubbsie, you are so fabulous. I had to mention you in the vadge post. you said cunt this year. awww. it brings a tear to my eye and joy to my heart.

rhet, what I adore about you is that you are a true, true pussy enthusiast.

evil spock, I think tim gunn is working on it. I know he has a no-tolerance-lip policy.

awww, thanks, cormac. ya such a honey.

here in the us, we call it a camel toe, too, brightfeather. this was not a camel toe. it was a giant bulging beaver. I'd never seen anything like it. she couldn't close her legs properly because of the bulge.


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