Katie Schwartz

my online bff-fahevah and always, wpeaser has meemed me. it's a dumb question meem. love it! "For this meme, I'm going to ask you to answer three (hopefully not dumb) questions: What is the dumbest question you ever been asked? Why was it it dumb? And, even though it won't help, because answering a dumb question never does, what's the answer? (Or, as I like to think of them: The Big Dumb Question, The Big Dumb Reason, and The Big Dumb Answer.)" hand to god this is a true story. you can ask my sister kerri if you don't believe me. when I first came out here, my sister and I went apartment hunting. we found a darling little 1 bedroom around the corner from keh. so cute. hardwood floors, washer and dryer, a come-fuck-me balcony. it was fabulous and so affordable. I checked out and was ready to sign on the dotted line... until pershina said, can I douche you ? excuse me , I exclaimed. my legs were closed the entire time and I shower daily. she said, I'm J...

a month or so ago, I posted about a friend of mine who noshed on some beav that reminded him of chef boyardee. remember? read it . buried in this chick's vadge, he felt as safe as he did when he was a kid. unfortunately, he told her. BIG MISTAKE. note: no woman wants to be told that her cunt smells like processed, canned food. last night while pussy hunting, he caught a buxom blond and when he went down on her, he said she tasted like chopped meat and ketchup. another family favorite. can you say pattern! you can't bullshit an old bullshitter, capisce?! I kid you not, he put an add on craigslist in the casual encounters section, seeking a savory pussy. and, it worked! can you stand it? I am on the floor from him.

New Abortion Bill To Require Fetal Consent

while frequenting our usual grocery store today, unbeknownst to us, we checked out on the special line. we had a lovely retarded checker and a super special bagger. it was a-ok that each item was bagged individually and that it took a lot more time. not an ish. things went awry when one of those fights broke out between them. you know, the screaming, curled fist, god I hope they don't kill each other or that I'll have to re-shop for the shit I just bought , kind of fights. believe it or not, that was even doable. though, I was worried... things got offensive when the store manager said, with a straight face, we try to help these people, but sometimes they're just more retarded than we realize . as if there's a retardation scale. what is their plan, to hire semitards? slightards? halftards? what? the fuckin shame of it. so, I said to him, you do realize what you just said could be perceived as offensive, right? he said, no. with a straight face. no. I couldn't let...

didjya's read about the vertically challenged kid who was rolling across the street and got stuck on the grill of a giant semi in paw paw michigan? kid was wearing a dr. pepper t-shirt and got stuck on the grille. can you imagine?! thank god the kid's ok. that said, this was the funniest fuckin story I have heard in my life. I was howling . seriously how-ling . do you not see the humor in this?! Carpenter was attempting to cross on Wednesday when the light turned green and his wheelchair became hooked onto the front grille of the truck, which reached 50 mph during the 4-mile trip down Red Arrow Highway, Michigan State Police Michael Sinke said witnesses reported.

Hilton released Steve Whitmore, a spokesman for the LA County Sheriff's department, told reporters gathered outside the jail that Hilton was released due to an unspecified medical condition . on her life in lock up for less than 72 hours She cries all day, a source tells People magazine in its new issue. “She looks unwashed, she has no makeup and her hair is tangled. She cried audibly through the first two nights.” paris on heading to the slammer "I am trying to be strong right now," Paris said of her jail time set to begin Tuesday. "I'm really scared but I'm ready to face my sentence." " I did have a choice to go to a pay jail," said Hilton, without giving details. "But I declined because I feel like the media portrays me in a way that I'm not and that's why I wanted to go to county, to show that I can do it and I'm going to be treated like everyone else . I'm going to do the time, I'm going to do it the right way....

this is the creepiest video I have ever seen in my entire life.