Thursday, June 14, 2007

the dumb meem, no. really.


my online bff-fahevah and always, wpeaser has meemed me. it's a dumb question meem. love it!


"For this meme, I'm going to ask you to answer three (hopefully not dumb) questions: What is the dumbest question you ever been asked? Why was it it dumb? And, even though it won't help, because answering a dumb question never does, what's the answer? (Or, as I like to think of them: The Big Dumb Question, The Big Dumb Reason, and The Big Dumb Answer.)"


hand to god this is a true story. you can ask my sister kerri if you don't believe me. when I first came out here, my sister and I went apartment hunting. we found a darling little 1 bedroom around the corner from keh. so cute. hardwood floors, washer and dryer, a come-fuck-me balcony. it was fabulous and so affordable.



I checked out and was ready to sign on the dotted line... until pershina said, can I douche you? excuse me, I exclaimed. my legs were closed the entire time and I shower daily. she said, I'm Jewish, too. it's ok. I can do it. I said, no. you can't douche me. I don't need to be douched. douching is unsanitary. if I were to douche, I wouldn't want a participant or an audience. please let me douche you she says. I thought, well, she is a bit older. her daughter is sitting right beside her. maybe this is normal or maybe she was a lesbian and this was her way of stealthily coming onto me. then she says, you can't rent the apartment unless you agree to let me douche you. I said, that's illegal! you can't use my vagina against my will and you can't rip the apartment away from me if I won't give you my vagina.



16 comments:

Bubs said...

WTF?!?

That is a TRUE story?!?? Lady, that is far, FAR beyond "dumb question."

Amy Guth said...

Bubs, you took the woids outta my trap. WTF, indeedy...?

Writeprocrastinator said...

I should've known better to read this when the house is asleep! HILAR!

Tanya Espanya said...

Totally weird. How did the douching go after all?

Beth said...

I wonder who the previous tenant was, or what he/she/it did that demanded such a procedure be implemented.

Eebie said...

While on the subject, I had a friend order for a salad dressing: vinegar and water.

But damn, it will be a cold day in hell before someone can top that story.

Al Sensu said...

I've often been called a douche, but that's a different story.

You got me.

Chaylene said...

Are you sure "douche" wasn't code for "check your credit"?

Zoltan said...

Love your blog. You sure let it all hang out. You're no shiksa that's fer sure.

Got a sister for me??? LOL

Jules said...

I have been asked a lot of questions, and have had a lot of propositions, but never...ever has anyone asked, to douche me!! Yi-ikes!!

Bubs said...

I've been thinking about it for days now, and I need to know more about this story:

How did this encounter end? I can't imagine what it was like being shown to the door afterward.

Did she explain why she asked this? Did the daughter sit, mute, through the whole thing?

This douche freak has haunted me for days.

Diane Tomlinson said...

For some reason cav just noticed this and sent it to me. We're all working on it Your lusciousness!

Fredrick Schwartz said...

I'm next I guess and I get so many dumb questions daily. This might take awhile.

Ms Smack said...

hmm I'll work on it...

Coaster Punchman said...

I SO don't get that story! Hey, sorry for my absence and for not even knowing I was tagged until now; from my own lack of posting you've probably figured I've been running around like a headless chicken.

Coaster Punchman said...

Sorry I haven't played this one yet; for some reason I have a block on the dumbest questions ever asked me. But I want to do it.

 

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