Tuesday, June 12, 2007

special olympics of grocery shopping

while frequenting our usual grocery store today, unbeknownst to us, we checked out on the special line. we had a lovely retarded checker and a super special bagger. it was a-ok that each item was bagged individually and that it took a lot more time. not an ish. things went awry when one of those fights broke out between them. you know, the screaming, curled fist, god I hope they don't kill each other or that I'll have to re-shop for the shit I just bought, kind of fights. believe it or not, that was even doable. though, I was worried... things got offensive when the store manager said, with a straight face, we try to help these people, but sometimes they're just more retarded than we realize.

as if there's a retardation scale. what is their plan, to hire semitards? slightards? halftards? what? the fuckin shame of it. so, I said to him, you do realize what you just said could be perceived as offensive, right? he said, no. with a straight face. no. I couldn't let it go, say I says to him I says, here's some free advice. don't say that to someone. it makes you look stupid and it's offensive
. he kicked me out of the store.

fuck em'! people suck ass sometimes.

ps: got a hellnine Q4U, whenever my dog is about to eat and hears me putting food into his bowl, he runs to the front window and barks. now, is he doing this to show off because he's about to nosh like a king? or, is he doing this because he thinks he has to work for food? wtf?


EditorJDC said...

"as if there's a retardation scale"
There is but Paris Hilton and George W. Bush keep throwing the curve off.

Those are the little know relatives of the halflings in Lord of The Rings.

The hound is doing it cuz he is showing off to his homeless homies.


Bacon Lady said...

For some reason I picture the store manager in too tight grey slacks (hate that word) with an unsightly scrot bulge.

And a moustache.

Did he have a creepy molester uncle moustache?

Eric Riback said...

Damn shame about that idiot, because I am more loyal to my local Safeway for having mentally challenged folks on staff.

Reminds me of this post I did.

(Yes, I know I'm an awful comment whore for referencing my own work.)

Joe said...

Oh sweet weepin jeebus on the cross...

My brother and I were talking about when we used to work as baggers at Dominicks when we were in high school, and it was considered a really good job to have, it was union and all. And now those bagger jobs are mostly held by "special" people. We both realized we are the only people we know of to have been effectively replaced by retards.

Tanya Espanya said...

Ah, the retard scale...I see it in action all the time.

Slacks and trousers, just weird wrong words.

Eric, see what I'm doing here? I'm worse than a comment whore for chattin' y'alls up on Katie's comments...I'm disgusting.

Bubs...I got nuthin'...I'll go to your site and clutter up your comments instead.


Ros said...

At the local Kroger it's pretty funny, actually, because some of the retarded baggers do *much* better work than the slacker, sh*t-for-brains tweens who are just hoping their friends don't come into the store. There's a half-hot 18 year old (At least in my head she's 18) that, I swear before Odin, just throws stuff in a random bag as it comes down the conveyor belt while non-stop running her mouth to no one.

That's right, no one is even listening or paying the slightest bit of attention, but she spews it on anyway, and while slipping the soup cans in with bannanas and frozen fruit in with my bread. I actually complained about her, and the manager-ish old lady said 'We send them to bagger school, but some just don't get it.'

Bagger school!

Anyway, yay for 'tards, much like Mexicans they do *well* the jobs some people in this country are too stupid to handle.

Writeprocrastinator said...

"things got offensive when the store manager said, with a straight face, we try to help these people, but sometimes they're just more retarded than we realize."

As a former Safeway employee for three years and a checker for a little over a year, let me say this, the best managers are not always the best candidates.

Some managers and assistant managers are not selected so much for their people skills or intelligence, so much as their willingness to work all kinds of hours, and entirely too many hours in a row.

Supermarket beasts of burden, if you will. So that if one of them talks about "retardation"...

Writeprocrastinator said...

Damn Johnny Dollars, you're on it today.

Um, like the third thing that the JDC said.

Check it b*****es, who's eating like a pimp, now?

Oh...and I forgot...

"Did he have a creepy molester uncle moustache?"

Another reason I'm glad I got out of the supermarket biz, you get stuck in whatever hair/clothes style era that your mid-twenties were. As an example I worked from '86 to '89 and most of the produce department looked like 70's porn star refugees.


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