vagina, it's what's for dinner



a month or so ago, I posted about a friend of mine who noshed on some beav that reminded him of chef boyardee. remember? read it. buried in this chick's vadge, he felt as safe as he did when he was a kid. unfortunately, he told her. BIG MISTAKE. note: no woman wants to be told that her cunt smells like processed, canned food.


last night while pussy hunting, he caught a buxom blond and when he went down on her, he said she tasted like chopped meat and ketchup. another family favorite.

can you say pattern!

you can't bullshit an old bullshitter, capisce?! I kid you not, he put an add on craigslist in the casual encounters section, seeking a savory pussy. and, it worked! can you stand it? I am on the floor from him.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I'm dying. I can't catch my breath from laughing.

"Honey, if you had to say my vagina tasted like something in particular, what would you say it is?"

"Oh my gosh! What kind of question is that?" He said, rolling over in the bed to see which blog I was reading.

"Well?"

"I don't know. Unique. It's unique."

Is that good or bad?
10:05 PM
Writeprocrastinator said…
Man, now this post title would make for a wonderful t-shirt!
6:57 AM
Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said…
That is some funny shit ladies. And for the record, some of us prefer the fruit flavors. It is pie after all.
7:42 AM
Unknown said…
Is Chef Boyardee coming out with Vagina-os soon?
That would be quite nasty to have a vagina smell like meat-filled pasta.
Urp!
I have to side with something more fruity myself. Maybe vanilla.
JDC
11:44 AM
Anonymous said…
I agree with WriterProcrastinator. The title is tshirt material.
5:44 PM
Al Sensu said…
Mexican. Isn't that why they call it Pink Taco?
8:55 PM
Al Sensu said…
And why don't they taste like fish anymore? Or is that just smell?
8:56 PM
Al Sensu said…
Your friend has an acute case of Costanzatitis. Pussy is supposed to taste like pussy, not like food.
9:02 PM
Mountjoy said…
Possibly the only time that it isn't the taste of the food, but the dish that it's served in that matters the most....

(do gay guys out there wish arse tasted more like apple pie, I wonder?)
4:02 PM
Evil Spock said…
Evil Spock wishes everyday was casual sex Friday.

Being a veggie, Evil Spock would probably toss cookies if the gf's vadge tasted like that.
9:34 AM
Julie said…
We usually have pizza on Fridays? Is this EVERY Friday? Cause I WAY ok with that.
7:07 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SPEAKING OF ABORTIONS

Image
Menses just commenced. It's 1:14 AM. I was asleep. That felt good. At 12:24, I popped up. I think I'm awake, maybe awakeish is more accurate. I'm always surprised when those handy-soapy-foamy-bottles run out of soap. For some lame ass reason, it never occurs to me that they ever will. They feel so lifetime supply , even though the bottles aren't more than 8 inches tall. Similarly, when I flip on a light switch and the light flickers to its death, I think "Now what?" Duh, schmuckette, you change the fucking light bulb . Intellectually, I know this, yet for some odd reason, it never comes to mind. In fact, a few years ago, my mother walked into my house and said, "Why aren't the lights working?" I said "I don't know, I flick the switch and they don't work." After a fit of uproarious laughter, she said, "Would it kill you to change the light bulb?” Hmmm. "No", I shamefully responded. I wonder why... it is that I hav...
Read more

Best Spam Evaaaaaaaaaaah -UPDATE-

Image
Look what I found in my box today?! Aside from the fact that I'm a VADGE and there is a glaring typo " fie" instead of " fine" , they've made this dame a raging cunt- hate that (and her high, tight rack. Bitch ). Women don't behave this way. Women aren't cunty. Women don't emasculate men. That is not how we roll, yo. UPDATE : From the fabulous and flawless MonkeyMucker : Actually hon that's not a typo. the word "fie" is a somewhat rare wordthat is used to denote scorn or used in place of a swear or curse word.It was more popular in the old days, like say during the 16th thru 19th centuries . Who knew?! I had no idea. Simianboy, you're a wealth of knowledge. Grazie. Penis enlargement patches also do not work. If you want to keep your junk intact, don't be stickin' things in it, or on it that can damage the meat bat. Don't let anyone make you feel badly about your manhood, either. It's your dick, live it. Love it....
Read more

Get Listen Up

Image
Have you seen the infomercial for Get Listen Up ? I thought the idea of a product that turns "Ordinary hearing into Extroidinary hearing" was too camp for words. In the mersh, a hospitable narrator takes you through all kinds of folks using it in church, hunting, watching television, listening to your spawn on the playground, all doable, right? Right. I was sold, too. Until.... my friendly narrator lady said "Listen to what your neighbors are saying about you." Okay, creeparella, how very big brother. Watch the mersh . Doreen sent me a kick ass, smart ass article this week in the NY Times called, " Skin Deep - Hey, Mom, the Rabbi Approved my Tattoo ". Speaking of Diva Doreen, I finished her flawless, brilliant book Queen of the Road (it's tits to the tenth, children) and she's graciously allowed me to interview her. I'll be posting that this week and you will love every word. Frannylish sent me, in her words an "oy gevalt" article ...
Read more