Drive by Shooting at Schwartzys

Where was Bubbsie today?! Evidently, I'm a bullettard, so today when I heard six loud booms, I was surprised. I said to myself, "No, those weren't bullets. No way. It's 3:04 in the afternoon." Pause. Check body for holes. "Were those bullets? Should I call the police? What would I say to 911, I think I heard bullets, but I'm too much of a fucktard to know for sure and I'd hate to put you out."



Not two minutes later, three motorcops rolled on through and were aksin' all kinds a Q's. Within 10 minutes, the street was blocked off and the streets were swarming with detectives, CSIs, uniforms, the whole she-bang.



Here's the scoop.... Two guys in a mercedes wearing ski masks drove by and shot two machine guns into the air. They were aiming for the building next to mine and the building across the street.



Okay, whatever happened to drive-by etiquette? Don't these things happen before dawn or late at night? The schmuck who planned this attack surpasses fucktard. News... One of them took his ski mask off and threw it out the window, leaving it for evidence. DUH. Here's a thought, how about attending a drive-by shooting school. Obviously gang bangers aren't planning things the way the should be. Focus, people! If you're going to do a drive-by shooting don't spray your business all over my building. What message does that send, huh? Exactly!