Thursday, June 21, 2007

looking for mr. jesus

in case you were wondering, HE is going on a cruise with leewee in november. oh, isn't it exciting. premier christian cruising is hosting a jonsing for jesus leepee fest in mexico halla-fuckin-loo.

3 reasons to go on the Girl's Get-A-Way Cruise 2007

1. Refresh! Get away from the hustle and bustle for a fun-filled vacation at sea. The Girl's Get-A-Way Cruise offers a chance to recharge your batteries and come away renewed.
2. Reconnect! Come sail away with some of your favorite people. Mothers and daughters. Friends from way back. Women in your church circle. Make this cruise a time to renew those relationships that mean so much to you.
3. Rejoice! Join thousands of other women on a cruise that will lift your spirits. Nightly concerts. Afternoon seminars. Devotional times. Morning praise. It's all a part of this 5-day, 4-night inspirational retreat for women.

and here I thought she was searching for HIS small still voice. someone has got a case of the pinocchio's. (ps) say pinocchio three times. such a weird name, no? (ppss) I wasn't invited. it's time for a letter...


Unknown said...

Hey, american-jewish slang rocks! Particularly in combination with a New York accent.
If you wanna read something thought-provoking, you should check out my blog too sometime by the way.

Sterculian Rhetoric said...

Do you read the bible?’ asked the man at my door yesterday.

‘Do you want to fuck off?’ I replied.

He then began to read a passage of the bible to me, the wanker. I told him that it wasn’t a convenient time for him to try to alter my fundamental beliefs on my doorstep, and I asked for his address so I could call round to his house at a more convenient time for me. He wouldn’t tell me, and he was right not to.

I would have called round at 3 am and thrown a big stone through his window wrapped in a picture of the virgin mary sucking jesus’ cock. I don’t know where I would have obtained a picture like that, I might have had to draw one, but I am not a talented artist, but it doesn’t matter anyway because he wouldn’t tell me where he lived, the fucking cunt.

Oh, I almost forgot. As he was walking down the front steps I asked:

"Jesus was an anatomically correct male, right?
Do you think he masturbated?
And if so, how often?,
Did he use olive oil or myrrh as a lubricant? "

Poor cunt is going to have to go through years of christian psychotherapy to recover from that image!

Writeprocrastinator said...

Aaaaannnnddd just wot will dey be doin' at the port o' calls? Eeets not the "limbo," mon!

If you've ever seen the film, "The Lunatic?" That means, more nastiness!

Mountjoy said...

I think the cruise companies use these crusies as "dry-out" runs so that their crews can sober up and douche out.

That way they are fresh and relaxed for the next bunch of hedonists who stagger aboard, thinking that by the third night they are sure to have been blown by Cathy Lee Gifford...

Dale said...

I bet He gets a balcony view, privileged bastard.


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