green card worthy bride?
evidently... not. and, I'm pretty god damned pissed off about it, too.at the minute, I will admit that I am horizontally challenged. it's a shortcoming. it's changing. I will also admit that today while running errands, I flew out in sweats and a sweatshirt. hair was pulled back, but not in a scrunchie. those are just wrong on every level. I wasn't wearing make-up, but I had sunglasses on. anywho, juice and I were driving along minding our own business. we were stopped at a red light when said green card candidate glanced my way in a wanton way, which was quickly replaced with never-fucking-mind.
never-fucking mind?! AM I soooo grotesque that I'm not even worthy of being a green card bride? so what if that isn't on my to do list. that's not the fucking point. the point is that he should've wanted me, if for no other reason than to woo me for american citizenship. the fact that he didn't is just plain mean, so I called him on it because it's that kind of a monday.
katie: excuse me, why did you look at me like I'm the anti-christ?
green card candidate: no habla engles.
katie: don't cross me, child. you know and I know exactly what I'm talking about. one minute you look at me like I could be hot and the next, like I'm trash. what gives?
green card candidate: I married.
katie: I don't see a ring. and, by the way, mister, you can't half-fast flirting. either you commit or you don't. and, you cannot, under any circumstances de-flirt after you've initiated an obvious flirt. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?!
he sped away so fast, I could barely see his bright yellow, circa 1970 vw dust
Comments
What a great bit of writing - I loved it!
Or maybe he thought you were Latina, then realized...right?
Did you ever consider that you are too attractive, and don't you realize how intimidated we are by that?
(Mountjoy - you are toast!)
50% of them end in divorce, while the other 50% end in death. Evil Spock doesn't like those kinds of statistics.
Even worse ES, of the 50% that get out via divorce, 100% of them die. The only way out is to never get started. You still die, but at least you didn't have to go through marriage along the way.
reality and such.
Wow, a Jew and a racist; big suprise.
Discourse is a lost art. It's funny how easily threatened people are anymore.. and how you can always spot them by the venom they're spewing.
Just my opinion. Try to be nicer to my friend. If you can't be nice, at least be constructive with you comments.
Please, read the context, it's clearly tongue and cheek. Please get to know someone before you paint them with a big, broad brush.
When you smear someone else without following the above, you paint yourself as the racist. Shu-krah.
And Palestgrinian, if you will be so gracious to consider what writeprocastinator has written and take it to heart and see that the levity is the emphasis. Shu-krah.