lisa whelchel is bringing prayer back to school

oh, praise be the lord, lisa whelchel has a new book coming out called the busy teacher's guide to prayer.



you must read this: "Off the top of my head, not being a teacher or having any idea what a teacher needs prayer for, these are the six categories and examples of prayer focuses I’ve come up with so far."


leewee, the jeewee authority is writing a book about prayer for teachers, but has no idea what to say. let's recap, leewee the jeewee authority is writing a book about prayer for teachers and has no idea what to say.


Teacher (eg; Patience, Wisdom, Creativity…)
Students (eg; Desire to Learn, Focus, Confidence, etc…)
School (eg; School Board, Finances, Safety, etc…)
Faculty (eg; Fellow Teachers, Principal, Teacher Aids, etc…)
Department of Education (Funding, Textbooks, Laws, etc…)
Other Learning Opportunities (Homeschoolers, Private Schools, Field Trips, etc…)


funding, textbooks and laws are my favorite topics. why I can't wait to see what leepee has to say! I imagine she'll find all sorts of loopholes to interject prayer into our public school system. way to go, leewee!

Comments

Unknown said…
"Students (eg; Desire to Learn, Focus, Confidence, etc…)"
Please God give me an A on the test and I'll never ask for anything again.
Please God let Lisa say yes when I call and ask her out.
Please God let Lisa cathc the clap since she laughed when I asked her out.
Please God at least let it be a D and I'll never ask for anything again.
Please God don't let it be my gym clothes that reek this bad.
Please God I hope Blair does nude in some film soon.

I prayed a lot in school too Lisa. He never seemed to listen.

Nuts.

JDC
1:47 PM
Bacon Lady said…
Why stop there? Maybe she can get everyone to pray at work too. Or red lights!
Maybe she can inject prayer into prayer. "Dear Jesus, I hope I'm praying hard enough for you. Anyway, back to those genital warts...."


P.S. You are beyond fabulous.
2:27 PM
Creepy said…
If God is omnipotent as they claim, is it really necessary for anyone to pray? Can't he/she read our minds?
6:01 PM
Anonymous said…
Couldn't LeeWee just devote herself to praying for all of us? Seems more efficient somehow....kind of like the designated driver.
6:46 PM
Coaster Punchman said…
Dear Lord, please make that Jew-Faggot couple quit emailing me. They're really starting to piss me off and if you don't intervene soon I may have to see to it that the two of them are strung up in a tree somewhere. OMG, did that sound harsh?

Amen.

PS: I'm sorry I said "OMG." Please forgive me.
9:47 PM
Mountjoy said…
I know I'm praying she'll reply to one of your letters one day, babe...
3:35 PM
Danielle said…
There was an article on her in the local paper a few years ago that she is a proponent of the hot tongue punishment. If a kid curses or speaks blasphemy or whatever, you're supposed to put a drop of hot sauce on the tongue. Even when she did "Facts of Life," she was a Xtian.
1:39 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SPEAKING OF ABORTIONS

Image
Menses just commenced. It's 1:14 AM. I was asleep. That felt good. At 12:24, I popped up. I think I'm awake, maybe awakeish is more accurate. I'm always surprised when those handy-soapy-foamy-bottles run out of soap. For some lame ass reason, it never occurs to me that they ever will. They feel so lifetime supply , even though the bottles aren't more than 8 inches tall. Similarly, when I flip on a light switch and the light flickers to its death, I think "Now what?" Duh, schmuckette, you change the fucking light bulb . Intellectually, I know this, yet for some odd reason, it never comes to mind. In fact, a few years ago, my mother walked into my house and said, "Why aren't the lights working?" I said "I don't know, I flick the switch and they don't work." After a fit of uproarious laughter, she said, "Would it kill you to change the light bulb?” Hmmm. "No", I shamefully responded. I wonder why... it is that I hav...
Read more

Best Spam Evaaaaaaaaaaah -UPDATE-

Image
Look what I found in my box today?! Aside from the fact that I'm a VADGE and there is a glaring typo " fie" instead of " fine" , they've made this dame a raging cunt- hate that (and her high, tight rack. Bitch ). Women don't behave this way. Women aren't cunty. Women don't emasculate men. That is not how we roll, yo. UPDATE : From the fabulous and flawless MonkeyMucker : Actually hon that's not a typo. the word "fie" is a somewhat rare wordthat is used to denote scorn or used in place of a swear or curse word.It was more popular in the old days, like say during the 16th thru 19th centuries . Who knew?! I had no idea. Simianboy, you're a wealth of knowledge. Grazie. Penis enlargement patches also do not work. If you want to keep your junk intact, don't be stickin' things in it, or on it that can damage the meat bat. Don't let anyone make you feel badly about your manhood, either. It's your dick, live it. Love it....
Read more

Get Listen Up

Image
Have you seen the infomercial for Get Listen Up ? I thought the idea of a product that turns "Ordinary hearing into Extroidinary hearing" was too camp for words. In the mersh, a hospitable narrator takes you through all kinds of folks using it in church, hunting, watching television, listening to your spawn on the playground, all doable, right? Right. I was sold, too. Until.... my friendly narrator lady said "Listen to what your neighbors are saying about you." Okay, creeparella, how very big brother. Watch the mersh . Doreen sent me a kick ass, smart ass article this week in the NY Times called, " Skin Deep - Hey, Mom, the Rabbi Approved my Tattoo ". Speaking of Diva Doreen, I finished her flawless, brilliant book Queen of the Road (it's tits to the tenth, children) and she's graciously allowed me to interview her. I'll be posting that this week and you will love every word. Frannylish sent me, in her words an "oy gevalt" article ...
Read more