Sunday, March 04, 2007

lisa whelchel is bringing prayer back to school

oh, praise be the lord, lisa whelchel has a new book coming out called the busy teacher's guide to prayer.

you must read this: "Off the top of my head, not being a teacher or having any idea what a teacher needs prayer for, these are the six categories and examples of prayer focuses I’ve come up with so far."

leewee, the jeewee authority is writing a book about prayer for teachers, but has no idea what to say. let's recap, leewee the jeewee authority is writing a book about prayer for teachers and has no idea what to say.

Teacher (eg; Patience, Wisdom, Creativity…)
Students (eg; Desire to Learn, Focus, Confidence, etc…)
School (eg; School Board, Finances, Safety, etc…)
Faculty (eg; Fellow Teachers, Principal, Teacher Aids, etc…)
Department of Education (Funding, Textbooks, Laws, etc…)
Other Learning Opportunities (Homeschoolers, Private Schools, Field Trips, etc…)

funding, textbooks and laws are my favorite topics. why I can't wait to see what leepee has to say! I imagine she'll find all sorts of loopholes to interject prayer into our public school system. way to go, leewee!


Unknown said...

"Students (eg; Desire to Learn, Focus, Confidence, etc…)"
Please God give me an A on the test and I'll never ask for anything again.
Please God let Lisa say yes when I call and ask her out.
Please God let Lisa cathc the clap since she laughed when I asked her out.
Please God at least let it be a D and I'll never ask for anything again.
Please God don't let it be my gym clothes that reek this bad.
Please God I hope Blair does nude in some film soon.

I prayed a lot in school too Lisa. He never seemed to listen.



Bacon Lady said...

Why stop there? Maybe she can get everyone to pray at work too. Or red lights!
Maybe she can inject prayer into prayer. "Dear Jesus, I hope I'm praying hard enough for you. Anyway, back to those genital warts...."

P.S. You are beyond fabulous.

Creepy said...

If God is omnipotent as they claim, is it really necessary for anyone to pray? Can't he/she read our minds?

Anonymous said...

Couldn't LeeWee just devote herself to praying for all of us? Seems more efficient somehow....kind of like the designated driver.

Coaster Punchman said...

Dear Lord, please make that Jew-Faggot couple quit emailing me. They're really starting to piss me off and if you don't intervene soon I may have to see to it that the two of them are strung up in a tree somewhere. OMG, did that sound harsh?


PS: I'm sorry I said "OMG." Please forgive me.

Mountjoy said...

I know I'm praying she'll reply to one of your letters one day, babe...

Danielle said...

There was an article on her in the local paper a few years ago that she is a proponent of the hot tongue punishment. If a kid curses or speaks blasphemy or whatever, you're supposed to put a drop of hot sauce on the tongue. Even when she did "Facts of Life," she was a Xtian.


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