Thursday, March 08, 2007

have a little faith in me

do you know the song have a little faith in me by the goddess that is chaka khan?! great tune. download it from itunes.

I gotta stay up until midnight. I think we all agree that masturbation is a risk. either it puts a girl right out or keeps her up. while it's true that the monkey toting tard is a hot fantasy, I lost my meat for the week in the move. not sure where it is. it has new batteries and it was as clean as a whistle, so hopefully some horny homeless bird or man muffin found it and is bouncing through the alleys.

the hallway hussies are back on stoop patrol. apparently they've decided to call their smoking / dish sessions, lessons. shall we venture a guess? they don't curse or discuss sex. I know this because I ran into them one afternoon while one of the hh's was in the middle of spinning her blind date yarn. when she said he was self absorbed. I said, you know you're date really sucks ass when your vibrator is seemingly more articulate and engaging, right?! three single dames mouths were suddenly agape and their faces were fire engine red. realizing the sin I'd just committed, I asked, oh, wait. was that inappropriate? I'm sorry.

at least I know why I'm never invited to their fucking lessons and why they clam up every time I walk by. cuntbags.

I gotta stay up until midnight, so I'll be back.



Al Sensu said...

Just point of info: Song was written and performed originally by John Hiatt. First version I heard was by Jewel of all people in the movie "Phenomenon." I admit I loved that film. One of my favorite songs...haven't heard Chaka's version yet.

Anonymous said...

Katie: Another side splitting post. I don't even know where to start from the picture to the monkey toting tard to the highschool redux you blew through with the stoop gals.

Good stuff. I hope that you managed a singular session even without the buzzer. Sometimes, it's just what you need.

Writeprocrastinator said...

"I think we all agree that masturbation is a risk. either it puts a girl right out or keeps her up."

You gotta mentally work yourself up to the climax and thus, when you finally get there, your adrenaline shouldn't completely be pumped up.

Check out this crazy word verifi, "thepupu." Someone has a sense of humor at Blogger.

Lex Luthier said...

"Pass the Ammunition"

and Praise the Lord!

Mountjoy said...

"Pass the ammunition" and you start talking about vibes? Love it.

As the poster says "Save all fats" (and I dont think it means plumpers). I'm pretty sure it's telling men and women NEVER to waste an erection. The "and greases" is the give away (although in the environmentally friendly noughties, I think KY has overtaken vaseline as the lubricant of choice. Don't underestimate baby oil, though...).

canadian sadie said...

"fucking cuntbags"

PRICELESS. I fully intend to take it, steal it, and make it my own.


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