Monday, January 15, 2007

lee wee's post o' the week

this week's leepee entry was about the daniel fast... with a few choice gems.

I realized too late that I hadn’t written a journal entry for this week. I breathed a quick prayer, “Dear Lord, I don’t want to let my cyber friends down again but I don’t have a spare minute to write this before I leave town and I don’t want to be writing while I’m with Angela. What can I do?”

I'm hearing a lot of "I's and me's." I'm NOT hearing a lot of, "you and you's". in a situation like this when a zealot has a narcissism tantrum, something akin to breathing for these folks, that zealot should really consider the following inquiries instead, what would jesus do? or jesus, it's your decision. jesus, I'm going to let you pilot this one.

I immediately thought of my friend, Sarah, whom I introduced you to last year.

I never got a personal introduction. did you?

I logged onto her blog and discovered she had recently written about our church wide call to a “Daniel Fast.” Perfect! We are allowed to eat: fruits, veggies, legumes, brown rice, soy milk, nuts, oats, and honey. We are not allowed: caffeine! Diet Dr. Pepper! Beef, poultry, fish, all dairy, sugar or sugar substitutes, eggs, flour and all breads.

she is so walmart that leewee, isn't she?!

pastor shared the phrase, “Extreme obedience brings extreme blessing,” which has become our mantra around here.

how very s&m-ee meets extreme makeover.

I sense God wants to do a new work in me and my life this year and I would love to start 2007 off with a divine breakthrough. I am also recently being challenged in the area of submitting to spiritual authority (not our own church; something else.) So this has been a really good opportunity for me to walk in obedience to my covering, trusting God to bless my desire to walk with a yielded heart.

I guess those ipod face to penis sessions with jesus in the closet are REALLY PAYING OFF!

someone's getting a letter.

8 comments:

DCup said...

I understand that once I settle down from all the cackling, I will sleep well from the relaxation brought on by all this laughter.

K.S. - you are too much!

Good night.

Writeprocrastinator said...

"Extreme obedience brings extreme blessing"

She's been hanging out with that Wachowski Brother that went over the top...or under the top, as it were.

Mountjoy said...

I am so getting a hard-on just thinking about Leewee all Catwoman-ed up in a shiny black leather body suit, zipped way up to her neck, 5 inch stilettos, hooker-red lip gloss, and a riding crop...
"YOU WILL SHOW ME EXTREME OBEDIENCE, MRS GARRETT! IN THE NAME OF CLORIS LEACHMAN YOU WILL BEND OVER AND SUBMIT TO ME SHOVING THIS FUCKING GREAT BLACK DILDO UP YOUR ARSE! PUNISHMENT IS THE ONLY WAY TO REDEMPTION FOR ANYONE NAMED "TOOTIE"!"
Now there is a devine breakthrough.
It's no wonder she found God, really.

Coaster Punchman said...

OK, this has got to stop. I cannot laugh any more tonight. I'm still in the office.

katie schwartz said...

aww, thanks, d-goddess. you're a mensch of epic proportions.

ps: who do I make the check out to?

katie schwartz said...

wp, you are so wrong on every level. hahahahhahahahahahha

katie schwartz said...

mount joy, you are so fucking funny. your spins on leepee must be written about more. seriously.

hahahahhahahahahha

katie schwartz said...

cp, can you believe her?! she's too much, right?

hit the journal today, it's sunday!!! posting day.

I seriously need a life.

 

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