Saturday, January 20, 2007

Bush Says Iraqis 'Fumbled' Saddam Hanging

bush says iraqis fumbled saddam hanging



best fuckin' headline of of 07'. I don't care if we are just 5 minutes into the new year. it's absolutely genius. the only headline that could top that is, bush has been impeached (and) upon hearing the news, cheney emptied his bank accounts and fled to switzerland.



"WASHINGTON (Jan. 17) -
President Bush said Tuesday the unruly execution of Saddam Hussein "looked like it was kind of a revenge killing," making it harder to persuade a skeptical U.S. public that Iraq 's government will keep promises central to Bush's plan for a troop increase.



In his toughest assessment yet, Bush criticized the circumstances of Saddam's hanging last month, as well as Monday's execution of two top aides, including Saddam's half brother.



I was disappointed and felt like they fumbled the -- particularly the Saddam Hussein execution, the president said in an interview with PBS' Jim Lehrer."



I spose' it would've been less feeble if bush stripped sahdy and hired a bunch o' bull riders to chase him with the rope and hog tie him, dragging him until he choked to death or was shocked to death from being skinned by all the rocks and sand.



I can see where that definitely would've secured overwhelming support in sending 20,000 more troupes to bigfat iraq.



"It basically says to people, `Look, you conducted a trial and gave Saddam justice that he didn't give to others. But then, when it came to execute him, it looked like it was kind of a revenge killing, the president said.



It makes it harder for me to make the case to the American people that this is a government that does want to unify the country and move forward," Bush said. "And it just goes to show that this is a government that has still got some maturation to do."



call it morbid curiosity, but what would a successful hanging look like in bush's eyes? is there a hanging that would pacify americans into sending 20,000 more troops into iraq?



here's a thought:



it's 6 PM. the evening air is filled with tension. a nokia video cell phone pans across the sun, setting over the soft silky sands of iraq. the sky is bursting with orange and purple hues. bon jovi's song, dead or alive, crackles through the phone as we cut to sadam stepping onto a
little giant companion ladder.



sadam's neck is being earnestly guided into a sterile white nylon-poly blend rope by two strapping iraqi's adorned in abu ghraib hoods. once the noose is safely around sahdy's neck, we see a blurry close-up of sadam's stoic face and the hoodies leaping back, waiting for the order. a thunderous voice proclaims, مت (die) in arabic. the little giant companion ladder is pulled out from under sadam as we bear witness to him unhurriedly gasping his last breath.



now that's a hanging!



as redundant and cliche as this sounds, it's always worth repeating. bush is a disgrace to this country with no respect for human life or democracy. he's sickening and vile.

3 comments:

Evil Spock said...

Evil Spock agrees with you. At least Saddam didn't get decapitated like his half-brother. A friend of Evil Spock's said to me:"They must have trouble tying knots"

katie schwartz said...

you know, evil spock, it's possible that bush would've regarded sahdy's decapitation as a pro-hanging.

Mountjoy said...

I so cannot see how they fucked up those last two hangings accidently. I mean you only have to go to wikipedia, to find the "Official Table of Drops" that sorts it all out in easy to read metric and imperial measurements:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Official_Table_of_Drops

It's all very Martha Stewart, really.

 

design by suckmylolly.com