Saturday, September 30, 2006


what a fuckin' day yesterday. my ass felt gang banged by every schmuck in town. I guess I had, will bottom for you all day, slapped on my forehead. would've LOVED a memo or some type of forwarning.

while we waited for jewcifer at the vet, my sister and I decided to grab a nosh. the stupidity of our waitress was epic, bordering brilliant.

me: may I have an iced tea mixed with lemonade, please?
waitress: what's that?

we squinted. hi. bewildered. me, I wanted to beat her with a stick.

kerri: it's a lemonade and ice tea in the same glass.
waitress: yeah, but what is it?

I wanted to say, you're not hot enough to be this stupid. if you want to be this fuckin' dumb, you stupid, cunt bitch whore, than you really need a makeover plan so you can catch a rich fellow!

but, I didn't.

when she brought our food, she said, "I brought extra silverware in case you needed it.

DUMB ASS, THERE ARE TWO OF US. elijah didn't rsvp and nobody else but you has been to our table.

gahd, why are people stupid?! it's not fair.

save our


Al Sensu said...

And if you had told her it had a name, an Arnold Palmer, she would have asked "what's that."

katie schwartz said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. that sensu, he's so damn funny!

Writeprocrastinator said...

They have a half-lemonade/half-iced tea on the menu at Mel's and every other time I order the thing, the waitstaff look at me like I've just asked them to violate half of the Ten Commandments with their mother...sigh.

Go ahead, ask them for your salad dressing on the side ala Harry Met Sally and watch them implode.


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