Friday, September 29, 2006

my vagina and me

my vagina and I got into a HUGE knock down drag out fight this morning.

I suspended her vibrator privileges a few days ago, so she decided to lead a revolt against me. she's threatening me with a yeast infection. what a snatch! so cunty sometimes, you know?

due to elevated horniness, she's been insatiable. it's becoming a problem. is it soo much to ask that she be a little sensitive to my needs?! I'm a very busy person. I don't have time to cater to her every moistened wish. I mean, gaahhhd. she can be so slutty sometimes, too. I'm so not like that. I'm far more reserved. I don't need it the way she does.

as always, I'm conflicted. I hate to censor her of course, or anyone else, but we have to learn to co-exist a bit better. donchya think? it can't always be about HER and HER needs.

when did vaginas corner the market on neediness?! *that isn't a fucking pun!*

save our


Dale said...

Stupid twat.

yournamehere said...

There's someone I'd like to introduce to your vagina. Me.

katie schwartz said...

potd, isn't she just? such a needy bitch. maybe she'll outgrow it. do you think?

that mullet boy is so giving, isn't he? the things you are willing to sacrifice, mullet. you are a truly selfless human being.

Ms Smack said...

ha, this post made me laugh aloud.

Thanks! Fantastic!

ps. I think our vagina's might be related.

Writeprocrastinator said...

The time to worry is when she completely rebels and a vortex similar to a black hole develops.

"Run! Run!"

"I can't, the pull is too strong!"

wigwam said...

your one silly-ass girl, i like the style.

katie schwartz said...

thank you, miss smack! you're a honey. it's comforting to know that my vagina has a split-apart (literally and figuratively).

wp: hahahahahahahahha

thanks, wigwam! you're a honey!!!

Al Sensu said...

damn that mullet is too fast, but i'll stand in line behind him. i think you're snatch is looking for gang action.

katie schwartz said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. I love you so hard right now, sensu.

katie schwartz said...

believe me, the last thing I would subject you or mullet boy to would be my, wrong on every level, beaver. I'm serious. I could go on the road and join a circus with the freakshow between my legs. way too lippy and dark.

katie schwartz said...

I can't even call my beaver a hot mess. now, that is jacked.


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