Thursday, September 28, 2006

mid day blow jobs


when I ran home for a quick nosh, my neighbor was giving someone a blowjob in her kitchen. food and sex. does it get any better?! but, she doesn't eat. she's trailing right behind nicole richie for anorexic of the year.

this neighbor is the cunt who tells me to stop sneezing all the time.

our kitchens overlook each other. whatever. she also leaves her window open. so, I walk in. I'm minding my own business and I hear:

take it. take it all. suck it. ooh. yeah. yeah! yeah!

I look out my window because I'm that person and I see her on her knees blowing a short, stout, suit. very boss-y like.

I grabbed an apple and proceed to sit at my kitchen table to watch. again, I'm that person.

all of a sudden, I hear her say, I kid you not:

YOU CAME IN MY MOUTH. THAT IS SO DISGUSTING. WHAT KIND OF GIRL DO YOU THINK I AM?!

you can't buy material this good. do you understand that?

he says to her, what? I mean, what? where did you ... what?

I could feel her rage.

he nodded his head her way and she guffawed with such hateful disdain and said, oh, I don't think so! I don't have time to shower and do my hair. we have to be back at work (pause) NOW!

then she says to him, she says, I'm never doing this again. you are such an asshole. I can't believe I work for you!

does it get any better than that?!

don't forget boobiethon! expose your beautiful boobies for breast cancer!

4 comments:

Writeprocrastinator said...

"WHAT KIND OF GIRL DO YOU THINK I AM?!"

Um, the kind that gives midday hummers in the kitchen?

That was bad etiquette and an even worse assumption on his part. If he worked out something in the beginning or gave her a warning, he still might be singing that dumb "Afternoon Delight" song every day.

The Cook said...

Yes, that is the first lesson of blow job etiquette: ask about swallowing first. But this guy has a bigger problem than no more BJs from this individual. He's just asking for a sex harrassment charge. Good luck chucko. Too bad, because kitchen sex is so hot. Oh, Katie, you are so right, great material. Why didn't you find your camera? What will you say to the chickie next time she complains to you? How about "My snot reminds me of that cum I saw you swallow?"

katie schwartz said...

wp, so damn true. but, she's a schmuck. I mean, if you're going to go the fuck-for-a-raise, route, have the intelligence to get the raise first. she's a stupid head.

ps: cookboy, you have some hot food sex photos on your site. thanks for sharing :)

she'll never sue him. she wants something way more than a raise.

Ms Smack said...

hahahahahahahhaah serve her fuckin' right.

 

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