Katie Schwartz

I'm so furious right now, I could scream. Before I do. Let me direct your attention to a beautiful new post on DearThyroid . Please click over and read this lovely dame's yarn and celebrate another cancer free anniversary (YAY). I'm so proud of her for sharing her story, I know it wasn't easy. One last thing, breathe. I feel so guilty venting and ranting when there are much bigger issues in the world, and with people I care about. I realize stating this doesn't absolve me of my guilt. I wanted to acknowledge how frivolous this rant is going to be. You know it and I know it. Still. It's something I need to get off my chest, which is already grand enough (DDD). There is someone in my life who urks me. No, that's a lie. He makes me crazy. No. That's not it either. He's more pleasant than a pap smear. Not as invasive as a colonoscopy. Definitely as irritating as an untreated yeast infection. I have to deal with him. There are some people in your life, yo...

Palin Misquotes Albright: "Place In Hell Reserved For Women Who Don't Support Other Women" At a rally on Saturday in California, Sarah Palin offered up a rather jarring argument for supporting the Republican ticket. "There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't support other women," the Alaska Governor said, claiming she was quoting former Clinton Secretary of State Madeleine Albright. The statement came after Palin had recounted a "providential" moment she experienced on Saturday: "I'm reading on my Starbucks mocha cup, okay? The quote of the day... It was Madeleine Albright, former Secretary of State [crowd boos] and UN ambassador. ... Now she said it, I didn't. She said, 'There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't support other women.'" Actually, Albright didn't say that. The accurate quote is, "There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't help other women." (S...

What are Bojamacakes? Feast your eyes on the below Jintrinsique original cupcakes designed exclusively for the McCunt essay contest winners. I'm plotzing. I'm starving. I'm drooling. My vulva lips are twitching from all of this decadence. After you've gotten your foodie fix, be sure to cast your vote for DrugMonkey's sick essay, If you listen closely as you read this, you can hear me reaching hard to create three, I may have torn a rotor cuff

I come here today my friends not to bury John McCain, but to praise him. To share a tender loving family values snibble of time that I hope transcends politics. You see my friends the presidential campaign trail is long and hard, like a penis, and at one point on that long, hard, soul sucking, maverick busting into party yes man presidential campaign trail, John's loving wife Cindy came up to him, ran her beerlicous fingers through his hair and said, "You're getting a little thin up there." A moment of tender humanity in the loveless inhuman world that is American presidential politics. "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt" Is what John McCain said by way of reply. I'm not making that up. Three reporters witnessed it. God that's hot. I bet they had steaming sex that night. White-hot nuclear powered cuntaramic sex until that makeup ran down Cindy McCain's face like water through a hydroelectric dam. Which means it...

I never post e-forwards. I had to post this, though. It was too hilar not to pass along...

Today's finds at our local vintage market were a steal! A 1930s lamp that works, for -- wait for it -- $10! I'm plotzing. Love it hard. The vinty Hull vase below, I scored for $5, that I'm selling on e-bay asssapy. Sunday marks the last day to vote for Mister Mister's hilarsquared essay for October's McCunt essay contest. Tomorrow I'm posting a brand spankin' new essay from the one and only DrugMonkey . I have one more space left in October, so if anyone wants to enter, go for it! The winner will receive a dozen Bojamacakes from pastry chef Jintrinsique . We had three more kick ass PoliQ entries from Rhchatlienblog , TellingSecrets and ColorSweetTooth (thank you, beautiful babies). I'll be posting recaps and links to their outstanding answers on Tuesday. Off to catch up on my blog readin'. I've decided to Palinize my Palinabulary.

I just read the below on Propeller.com, 90 Year-Old Woman Shoots Self Inside Foreclosed Home A 90-year-old Akron, Ohio, woman who shot herself as sheriff's deputies tried to evict her from her foreclosed home became a symbol of the nation's home mortgage crisis Friday. Addie Polk is being treated at Akron General Medical Center after shooting herself at least twice in the upper body Wednesday afternoon, her city councilman said. On Friday, Fannie Mae spokesman Brian Faith said the mortgage association had decided to halt action against Polk and sign the property "outright" to her. "We're going to forgive whatever outstanding balance she had on the loan and give her the house," Faith said. "Given the circumstances, we think it's appropriate." Meanwhile, U.S. Rep. Dennis Kucinich, D-Ohio, mentioned Polk on the House floor Friday during debate over the latest economic rescue proposal. You can learn more about this tragic incident in the CNN vi...