Katie Schwartz

OnlineBFF4Ever, Cormac Brown has spun yet another flawless suspense filled yarn called Poker Face , featured on Powder Burn Flash . You must run and read it now. You'll love it. I laughed. My mouth dropped... I can't tell you why, you have to read it! I have more I want to share, but I won't yet-- I'm being plaid about it. Soon, though.

One of the items on my Nav bar is Feed OyVey . My sister thought that meant, email me dish to post on the blog (love that girl, so cute). Anyhoodle, Keh e-stalked me this morning with a fabbylish Thrillist item that I had to share. She feels an obligation to feed the blog . So cute. "Bedroom Tools: Ugly Bags "Guaranteed to cure ugliness", these heavyweight paper bags slip easily over your partner's head to display an attractive face; also comes in Male, for the man so ugly, even an extra-ugly bag-faced chick refuses to sleep with his ugly." For men... For women.... Aside from how shaaaaaaaaaaameful this is and it is mothah fuckin' shameful. Whatever happened to good ole' fashioned beer goggles? When did they lose their cachet?

You see the little Monkeybicycle icon in the sidebar? Take a look, ga'head. See it now? That's a link to order the Monkeybicycle dirty humor issue NOW on sale . Guthy posted about this a few days ago and mentioned what a tough time the publishers had getting it printed because it was it was considered too dirty . Being a part of a collection of work considered too filthy to print is something to be proud of. Check out this line-up: Sarah Silverman, Patton Oswalt, Myfanwy Collins, Johnny Ryan, Davy Rothbart, Wendy Molyneux, Aaron Burch, Bret Scott, Elizabeth Ellen, Matt Craig, Timothy Bennet, Pete Grosz, Liliana V. Blum, Katie Schwartz, Tyler Smith, Michael Frissore, Antonius Wiriadjaja, Amy Guth, J. Marcus Weekley, Matt Summers-Sparks, C. J. Kershner, Ben Tanzer, Jennifer Dziura, Peter Bognanni, Charlie Anders, David Hart, Noria Jablonski, Bob Fingerman, Vince LiCata, Jack Pendarvis, Christopher Monks, and an introduction by David Cross. You must buy a copy! I just got mine in...

You know DrugMonkey , yes? Yes. Of course you do! Anyhoodle, he graciously agreed to an interview about thyroid disease from the pharmacist perspective. Check it out , yo.

Let me start by saying, parents and family, bypass this post. Thank you. Loving... I don't dream. I have wicked dark nightmares, so dark, I kept each to myself and compartmentalized them as one-of-life's-dirty-little-secrets. Recently, I dragged them out of my shame closet by writing about them and discussing them with Shrinktail. It took 8 months of shrinkdating to spill, but spill I did. Anyhoodle... Last night, I think I had my first hybrid. I had a thing with a guy for a while. We had a weird ass sitch. Our intimacy issues and bad timing led to disaster. Here's what happened in the dreamare: He knocked on my door wearing a wetsuit and fins (he's not a diver). I was living in a dilapidated, massive tree house with oddly shaped large, dirty rooms and slanted floors. I had three bedrooms with mattresses on the floor, tattered posters of Journey on the walls and plastic pee cups everywhere, it was severely crack denish. In Bedroom A, I threw him on the bed and said, ...

Did everyone have a firecrackin' 4th of July? Who did we do? Last night, I stayed home, though I did have a nightmare. Judging from the content, I would have to say that my mind gave whatever fireworks I might have seen, a run for their money. The third anniversary (Mazel Tov) edition of Farmhouse Magazine is online now and it is fierce! Off-the-hook fiction, satire, poetry and of course, equally ya-may-zing images, too. Check it out, yo. I think the House of Farm is edgier then ever. Me likey. Yesterday, I caught up on some bloggys. WriteProcrastinator has a kick ass post about the Sunset district in SF with links to beautiful pictures. Frannylish wrote about " Sister of Charity Louise Lears, forced out of all church ministerial roles ". Sister LL is an altruistic dame, a preacher, teacher and a true beacon of hope for the poor. She's all about justice and equality. Why wouldn't you want such a mensch like this in your corner?! I signed the petition and all. Su...

Doreen Orion is the author of newly released Queen of the Road , "The True Tale of 47 States, 22,000 Miles, 200 Shoes, 2 Cats, 1 Poodle, a Husband, and a Bus with a Will of its Own." She's also a humor essayist and has written many stellar essays, a few can be found on Huffington Post here and here . Run. Read. Now. Fab . Recently, Doreen was featured on Nevada NPR . You must listen to her dish Queen of the Road . She also blogs, " Medicinal Musings from a Mobile Shrink, AKA Queen of the Road ". I'm sure you've seen her around All the Way from Oy to Vey, she's left deliciously sarcastic comments-- she's just like us. In this moment, Doreen is schlepping around the country reading and signing her book. I am looking forward to attending one of her readings because (A) she's a riot. (B) She wears a boa. (C) At her Las Vegas reading at Borders Books , an Elvis renewed one lucky couple's vows. what's not to love?! I just bought Queen of...