I come here today my friends not to bury John McCain, but to praise him. To share a tender loving family values snibble of time that I hope transcends politics. You see my friends the presidential campaign trail is long and hard, like a penis, and at one point on that long, hard, soul sucking, maverick busting into party yes man presidential campaign trail, John's loving wife Cindy came up to him, ran her beerlicous fingers through his hair and said, "You're getting a little thin up there." A moment of tender humanity in the loveless inhuman world that is American presidential politics. "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt" Is what John McCain said by way of reply. I'm not making that up. Three reporters witnessed it. God that's hot. I bet they had steaming sex that night. White-hot nuclear powered cuntaramic sex until that makeup ran down Cindy McCain's face like water through a hydroelectric dam. Which means it...
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next thing you know, they'll want to have babies.
wait a minute...that already happened.
ok, i'll sign.
My friends that I will be staying with next week are hugely into this and have played a major role in Cali.
Next week Katie- next fucking week! I hope to see you, Divajood and 2 others. Yay!!!!
Now the rest of you, sign up pronto!
Second, I am officially running for first Diva President. I am accepting applications for cabinet positions, as long as you all dress well.
Third, California was the first state to allow Inter-racial marriage. The first of those became the test case that went all the way to the Supreme Court making it law. I am proud that California is the first state to legalize gay marriage as well.
To all those who are self-righteously objecting to gay marriage, I just want to yell, "Get a fucking life, idiots!"