Saturday, April 12, 2008

For an Encore, You Would Have?!

Yesterday, I was heading down Sepulveda about to make a right on Santa Monica blvd. A white van was parked on the street. He didn't have a signal on and I couldn't tell if he was pulling in or out of his spot. Parking spaces are very hard to come by in Los Angeles, so it was a fair assumption. Yes? Yes. Okay, I continued forward and all of a sudden, I hear, "YOU SLOPPY CUNT WHORE" bellowing out of the driver's mouth, along with a solid middle finger. The "sloppy" made me scream, I could not stop laughing. So furious, he kept wailing SLOPPY CUUUUUUUUUUUNT. I HAAAAAAAAAAATE YOU. VICIOUS BITCH. BITCH. BITCH.

I couldn't figure out how sloppy factored into the equation. My car was clean. I was clean. What was so sloppy?


Anonymous said...

Sloppy? Nice. You know, that's his way of saying pussy scares him.

Fran said...

Sloppy Cunt Whore! Well that sort of delineates you from all the just cunty whores. I mean, really.

I can see that sloppy cunt whore intersection in my mind, no one ever yelled at me when I was there.

Johnny Yen said...

This is yet another sign of the collapse of Western Civilization-- that it's citizens can't even make a decent insult.

Was this as opposed to a "Neat Cunt Whore?" Which is better to be?

Distributorcap said...

was it John McCain thinking you were Cindy?

(you saw what Schecter's book has said about McCain's language)

Joe said...

Damn, I got beat to the McCain joke.

It sounds like your driver was right on the verge of degenerating into pre-verbal grunts and shrieks. That's the thing with rage--it sits in that unique junction of terrifying and hilarious.

Doreen Orion said...

I think "sloppy" was code for some anti-semitic remark. Oh, wait. Sorry. I must be channeling my mother.

Writeprocrastinator said...

"What was so sloppy?"

Well, it was either:

A) The only way he could climax, because nothing this side of DeSade is normal anymore for most Angelenos.
B) Him on the Bluetooth with his mom and that was the most "polite" greeting that his meds would allow.
C) His addressing and admonishing of hisself for not being a better "bottom."

Madam Z said...

Geez, I miss L.A.!

Anonymous said...

at least you got "cunt whore" in addition to "sloppy." he had some respect for you.

could "sloppy" really mean, "diseased," "dirty," or "fucking"? or maybe he really meant your cunt whoreness doesn't know how to clean up after dinner.

KK said...

It must have been his x-ray vision

Coaster Punchman said...

Maybe he has Tourettes?


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