And How Was Your Week, Schwartzy?


I feel menstrually betrayed. My sister and her BFF began menstruating on Friday without me. No memo was sent to my womb. Here I sit in a PMS stupor going it solo. While in the car with her last night, I courted her hormones with champagne, strawberries, chocolate, salty potato chips-n-dip, anything to entice the mones to mingle with mine so wombareena would bleed. This morning... bupkas. Refresh. Sigh.


In an effort to drag myself out of the thyroid closet that I've been living in for the past five plus years, here's the dish: I got fabbylish news last night from my endocrinologist about my thyroid. I'm 14 points away from having a balanced thyroid. Having been severely hyper and hypothyroid for so long, those 14 points have taken my wig off, I'm over the moon. Your thyroid regulates your mind and body. If that bitch goes awry, all bets are off-- youse are all kinds of jacked whether you're hypothyroid or hyperthyroid. Anyhoodle, in my forthcoming title (Emotionally Pantsed) from So New Media Publishing (check out their fly new website), I wrote all about my thyroid mishigos and, yes... disease (Graves' disease and a rare version of Graves' Ophthalmology). I could end with something wise ass like, "Eww, disease, who wants to fuck me, now?" Or "Is Jewgirl contagious?!" I won't and for the record, I'm not. Though I am still trying to figure out if my eggs are. I want to say (ha), I won't.



My website is almost done. I know, I know, I know, "Jewgirl, you keep saying that. Gahhhhd." The design is finished. After I update the content, she/me will be online. One more week, please. Loving...


Newest blog crushes: Yikes 101, Politits' Unglued and FreidaBee.


Yikes101, I'm new to her blog and I'm crushing hard. She's a feminist, a liberal and outspoken in the very best way-- what's not to kvell about?! Her political posts are off the mothah fuckin' hook.



Politits recently created a new blog called Unglued chronicling her major life changes, separation, parenting, work, etc... Her posts about The Celibacy Project and falling off the abbywagon are outstanding and gut wrenching.



We all know and adore FreidaBee. Her posts are funny and smart and her poetry is beautiful. This particular post, What Up? provides a glimpse into, well, all of our heads, really. What Up is a barrage of questions chronically racing through FreidaBee's mind, and I think, our brains, too. Read it, it's hauntingly beautiful.



Only a few more weeks until Pilcrow, 4 to be exact. Have yas donated? See the ChipIn widget on the sidebar? Hit it, beautiful babies. A few more "Five With's" have been posted on the Pilcrow Lit Fest blog, Elaine Soloway, Jami Attenberg (phenomenal authors and dames) and Adam Deutsch, a fabulous poet with a new title out, North Park Gallery Series.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Well, thank! That's a fine list of blog crushes and links. I'm sorry about the menses, but happy about thy thyroid, love!

And I'm on pins and needles for you new website, but I've resolved not to nag you......

Mwah!
Anonymous said…
Okay. Guess who can't type today. That's thank you. And happy about the.

Oy!
Freida Bee said…
Oh Schwartzy, Thank you. I am in solidarity with you on the PMS'n right now, and on the Thyroid stuff. I had myself a hefty goiter and a smart case of hyperthyroidism during which I was a bean pole, then a thyroidectomy and now pregnancy weight that's determined to stay on me forever and what is being called normal thyroid function. Anyway, I sympathize and blog crush on you too.

Oh, and the company... BAC and DCup are the schizzle (and I undoubtedly deserve a spanking for using schizzle in a sentence)....

I can't wait for your new website!
Freida Bee said…
I mean normal thyroid hormone levels (from medicine), not funtion....
Fran said…
Dcup, BAC, Freida, Katie- I am in girl heaven.

Sorry about that period not appearing at the end of the sentence in a timely way. That sucks.

I don't know how old you are, I am 50. Just wait, it gets fucked up, very fucked up.

I want to talk thyroid with you too.
BAC said…
Yikes! Thanks for being included in such a stellar line up! And anytime I can be included in the same post with Elaine Soloway is even more special! I met her a while back and she's terrific!

And so 'gland' to hear your thyroid is improving. Health concerns are a bitch. It's one of the reasons I no longer have to be concerned about Aunt Flo dropping by unexpectedly. Those body parts are gone, baby! And since I never wanted to have a baby, I haven't missed them a bit.

Can't wait to see the new web site!


BAC
Unknown said…
Not that I ever expect you to visit my humble blog, I do try to send viewers your way from time to time.
Eebie said…
I'm cheering you on for that egg to roll, so youz can beez with ya sistaz. I'm egging you on, girl.
Joe said…
Great news about whipping that thyroid into submission.

So much to look forward to--the book, the litfest, all of it.

Come on, springtime.
Again, I express my happiness at your happiness.

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