Thursday, December 20, 2007

Jaymahlyn Keep Ur Baybay, Love LeeWee

Thanks to the goddess that is SaltyMeat, we have this meaty dish: Former Teen Star Applauds Jamie Lynn Spears for Keeping Baby. Lisa fuckin Welchel (AKA) LeeWee is proud of this 16-year-old abortionphobe for keeping the spawn of her loins.

And, what would LeePee do if her beloved daughter came home with a cum clad womb after taking a vow of chastity before God. PS: daughter wears a purity ring and all, as a reminder of her blessed virginity.

LeeSkeev's comments on Spears decision not to have an abortion, "I'm so proud of her for stepping up and being courageous and taking responsibility for her choices, and I believe she's being a good role model — a good role model in that situation, to choose to have the baby, and … I am supportive of her in that situation."

I want to scream at this snatch, at the top of my lungs, SHE is a CHILD having a CHILD. This is wrong.wrong.wrong on every level. These God fearing Christians need to wake the fuck up and teach their children about sex. Kids fondle and fuck. Arm them with knowledge and teach them to use condoms. The fear of God clearly isn't cutting it.

Let's think for a minute, the man they are supposed to worship is HOT. Stay with me for a minute: Easy on the eyes Jesus is hanging on a Cross in nothing but a loin cloth and a thorn hat. He's got a wicked manly physique and these kids are not supposed to have thoughts about what it would be like to have sex with him?! Build a bridge, my friend. There isn't a Christian queen or teen that hasn't fantasized about Jesus showing up at their bedside for a little midnight delight.


Ah, thank you, Salty Goddess. This was fuckin' tits dish! You made my night.

PS: my other loves MadamZ, Creepy and Ribbed wrote the best comments, aaaaaaand some fabulous new found faves commented as well. Check it out. Fucking hilar.


Distributorcap said...

How about Spears' mother's book on parenting (now cancelled) -- that was supposed to be published by a christian publishing company

You take the good, you take the bad,
you take them both and there you have
The Facts of LeeWee, the Facts of LeeWee.

There's a time you got to go and show
You're growin' (yep JL is growing) now you know about
The Facts of LeeWee, the Facts of LeeWee.

When the world never seems
to be livin up to LeeWee's dream
And suddenly you're finding out
the Facts of LeeWee are all about you, you.

It takes a lot to get 'em right
When you're learning the Facts of LeeWee.
Learning the Facts of LeeWee
Learning the Facts of LeeWee
Learning the Facts of LeeWee
Learning the Facts of LeeWee.

dguzman said...

OMG, I had a total baby-dyke crush on LeeWee when she was a mouseketeer and then oh-so-obvious dyke-crush of Jo Polnicek on Faxolife. What an idiot she is, though.

Looks like that birth control of praying while fucking (oh god, oh god!) didn't work for little Jay-Jay. Way to mess up a future-baby's life, kiddo.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

My neice wore one of these "chastity" rings when she was in high school and then came to me really twisted up inside with confusion and guilt when she met a boy AT AGE 20 and fell in love. She felt like a terrible person and hated herself for having sexual feelings that were perfectly natural.

I'll just say that she no longer wears this ring and dropped out of bible college.

It's far easier for people to NOT talk about sex and NOT teach sex education. They put a religious sticker on it, but in my mind it's sheer laziness. It's much easier to tell your children that it's bad and wrong and not to do it than it is to really talk about it with any intelligence whatsoever.

Adam Deutsch said...

Do they make chastity cock rings?

Chaylene said...

They should give the baby to Britney, yall!

I predict it'll be a girl and, following in the Spears naming tradition, will be named CasieJamieLynn.

What will MamaSpears do without a meal ticket? I think she has a son she hasn't exploited the hell out of yet. There's still hope.

Anonymous said...

"....He's got a wicked manly physique...."

AND he is always rendered Caucasoid, with those Aryan baby blues and everything. We all know he was a 5'4" swarthy Levant Semite who walked bandy-legged (on account of his botched bris) and had a predilection for 'resurrecting the dead' (an ancient Aramaic euphemism for fellatio).

FranIAm said...

Dumb fucks.

That's all I can say.

And you know I am totally down with the Jew on the cross too.

Anonymous said...

Well, you know, a baby is just what a sixteen year old needs. I mean, why would she need to grow up, maybe go to college, learn a little about the world, etc. before bringing another person into the world?

I see great things here. Really. I do. No. Really. Stop laughing. Motherhood is the best job a woman can have! Really. What? Dammit, I'm serious here. Oh, forget it!

Dale said...

I hope it's twins! The local radio station was having listeners call in with alternate book titles for Mama Spears' book and my fave by far was Whore Whisperer.

Way to go LeeWee you big tool.

Ms Smack said...

You'd think watching her sister fuck it up would have inspired her to keep her legs closed, eh?


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