Sunday, December 16, 2007

Cunt Fit Squared

I cracked a mother fuckin' cock suckin' tooth-with-filling last night. fuck.fuck.motherfuck. FYI: It's very uncomfortable. I woke up again at 4AM with class-5 cramps and a tsunami bursting through the clam dam.

I got the lovliest, sweetest holiday cards from monkeyboy and bethylish. Isn't that so menschy. Thank you guys. I also got a postcard from Teeny. She's in Egypt. She said, "Eh, you've seen one tomb, you've seen em' all." Funny, no?!

Back to the cunt fit. I am so mad! Six weeks prior to The Kid peeling, I found out that my next door neighbor's dog peeled. My heart broke for her. She chose to get another dog, so I got her some dog chach. It was such a difficult time for her and I wanted to be supportive of her choice. Welllllll, do you know that since my dog peeled, I've run into this cunt a half dozen times and each time, she hasn't said word one to me. I am fuckin' furious about this. She won't even look me in the eye.

The reason why I'm hoppin' fuckin' mad right now is because it's The Kid's birthday month and I'm a bit overly sensitive at the minee. Anywho, I ran into her again this morning and she ignored me. WhadI do?! Bupkas. Argh. Woman up, Schwartzy. Geez Louise.


bizQuirk said...

Oy, Schwartzie, what a tirade, what can we your humble fans do?

You don't seem like a crying on the shoulder type of gal!

You can cry on abm's shoulder, Katie.

I feel like I know you from your writing -I bet a lot of folks feel that way. Looking forward to your book.

Scorpios Love To Fuck said...

Tooth-with-filling becomes tooth-with-root-canal which becomes tooth-with-crown.
A wise woman once told me:

"You like your teeth?
You want to keep your teeth?
Then fucking floss your teeth!"

Some people do not deal with the grief of others very well. Show a little christian kindness, eh?

Bubs said...

Oh, shit, girl, sorry about your teefus.


FranIAm said...

First the vagina carnage and then the tooth? Katie was a fucking disaster for you.

So sorry I did not call you so you could have said hello in a spew of curses and pain. I could have comforted you or just cursed right back. I am a bad new friend. Fuck me.

And that whole dog thing- not cool with the other chick. At all.

And for you- all cursing aside... with thoughts of the Kid and you and your heart, just some love for you, just some fucking love.

Oh. I always forget the part about not cursing. Fuck.

Ms Smack said...

What a mean-hearted, freaking twat! I understand that we humans grieve for our beloved pets, but if you can show her some warmth and kindness while you're feeling a bit jew-blue, then, why can't she?

Fucking. Twat.

Want me to send her some aussie roadkill?


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