Tuesday, July 10, 2007

why jewgirl didn't do a peeny poll

I see that my vadge poll has stirred quite a lot of ahj from the veypeens. someone even suggested that my actions were sexist (ha! as if). women have a much different relationship with their v's than men have with their cockadoodledo's.

whether a man is sporting 3 inches or a dozen inches, he holds court daily and has a shrine to his pleasure plunger. he is incessantly fascinated by the cool white shit that comes out of the tip and anything he can stick it into, including but not limited to, a toasty watermelon with a widget hole to simulate the blessed cunt.

truth: I envy that men have such a deep, organic appreciation for their peens. bunch'o bitches. seriously:: you are very lucky.

women on the other hand have a much different relationship with their vagina's. if we're not stressing about vulva placement, color, clitoral location or scent, we're freaking out about her drool factor when not aroused. we are delighted by a daily barrage of reasons to worry about and loathe our cunts.

"she's got mud flaps." "I ony fuck coin slots." "dude, she had an echoing grand canyon sized puss." "ewww. she had a puffy beef box." "for just 3K, you can have the vagina of your dreams with vaginal rejuvenation." "do your lips stick out? for $1,500 we can give you a porn star pussy."

I could go on for days, children. seriously: the poll was to get women talking about their delicious, moody pussies and for the men who love them to spill about that beav love.

cool? cool.


Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Only an idiot would say your poll was sexist. Not all us guys fear the flange. Pussys rock.

jewgirl said...

simian stud muffin, you're a mensch. I want to assure you that I am 100% certain he said it in jest.

Mountjoy said...

Embrace the beaver! Owners of a vertical smile, you have nothing to fear. A real man will kneel at the alter of the bearded clam, and wonder at its beauty, regardless or colour, size, shape or age*. It is a cup to tup from, a pouting cleave that invites us in, embraces our manhood, and draws our seed willingly. There is indeed, no place like home (base).

*conditions apply. see back of pack for details.

jewgirl said...

mounty, THAT IS WHAT I AM TAWKIN ABOUT, YO!!!! Fuckin' hell.

niCk (Mem Beth) said...

I'm the idiot sexist, I will not deny it. I was being cynical with that comment.

What mountjoy said, I pretty much feel the same way.

It would be so cool to have a tool to control so many people the way the way "the beav" can. Gives now meaning to "Leave It To Beaver"

Anonymous said...

Don't worry,jewgirl.

I've been busy doing penis surveys for years. If you need data, I've got it.

Love you. Love your survey!

Bubs said...

Well, now, I guess I have to jump on board now yelling about how much I love the pussy. And I do. And, to clarify, I didn't feel the least bit slighted by your lack of a penis poll. No need to when the whole world is your urinal.

Keep up the good work!

P.S. I almost used the c-word, but I still find "pussy" easier. I'm working on it, I swear.

Anonymous said...

You done Inga Muscio proud!

You are a cuntlovin' girl!

Anonymous said...

People who can't say "cunt" are cunts!

And as distateful as it is for me to have to agree with that chthonic antipodean, mountjoy, I must agree.

jewgirl said...

bubbsie, I am so proud of you!!! I know you're working on it. I totally get it. the fact that you almost used it speaks volumes about your commitment. yahoo!!!

jewgirl said...

nickie, you are not sexist and NEVER an idiot. HARSH. gaaaahd.

jewgirl said...

I so adore you, d-girl. you are tits to the tenth.

jewgirl said...

e-dulch, I so am. ps: I bought cunt and I'm waiting for it to arrive. can't wait.

jewgirl said...

rhetorically sterculian, I vehemently disagree. that is so not true. cunt is not a word that most people are comfortable with.

I didn't fly out of the womb saying cunt.

plus, we are taught that cunt is an atrocious, scandalous, evil word. it's a matter of re-learning.

jewgirl said...

and that takes time and patience. at least it did for me.

Anonymous said...

Well my veritable essence of vulvic pulchritude, jewgirl, I agree with you about the patriarchal teachings regarding this word.
As the Gay community took back the word "Queer" so should those of the homogametic persuasion take back the word "CUNT"!
Own it!
Embrace it!
Love it!

In the UK and environs, to call a male a cunt is derogatory. To call a woman a cunt is not.

What did you fly out of the womb saying then?
"Nu? This is it, is it?"

My pee pee works a treat as the terminus of my urinary tact. After two pitchers of beer I can inscribe the entire Gettysburg Address in a show bank. Complete with annotations and addenda.
And in your handwriting!

Anonymous said...

The word 'Pussy" is vile and condescending.

"They teach young men to drop fire on people, but they won't let them write "Cunt" on their airplanes because it is obscene"

The Westerner has to realign his/her priorities methinks.

jewgirl said...


I agree with what you're saying, that we need to reclaim cunt as a positive word because it is. totally agreed!


Anonymous said...

OH, and shake it well when you're finished.

jewgirl said...

rheto, I totally disagree. I absolutely love the word pussy. not as much as I love cunt. but, I do not think or feel that pussy is condescending or vile. to me, it's as empowering as cunt.

Anonymous said...

We be cuntlovin' cunts girlfriend!

Anonymous said...

It is vile and condescending to our friends in the Genus and species, Felis Domesticus!

Anonymous said...

Is that like some kind of rheostat or something?
Please call me Rhet.

jewgirl said...

oh we are indeed, girlfriend. you are too funny.

it is not vile and condescending, snatch face. I do believe it's me with the V.

rhet.. noted.

Anonymous said...

I give in!
I am sooooooooo milquetoasty.
We will agree to disagree then?
I've seen many a flappy gee in my profession and I have yet to meet a Western influenced owner that is truly in love with their cunt.

They may 'tent' and kill their women in the East, but the women there love their cunts. The lucky ones who should find themselves in the West as adults are therefore the ideal companions.

Anonymous said...

"flappy gee" that is with an 'hard' "G"

Oh so British!

jewgirl said...

rhet, I totally agree with you re: women's lack of cunt love. great point, sugar. we do need (as women) to love our blessed beavs.

Anonymous said...

Don't you (as women) love them too much.
The pee pee will be rendered superfluous.
I am not sure I would like that. I'm a cuntlovin' person too!

Tanya Espanya said...

Ohmygod, get a room, you two!


Anonymous said...

Nyuck, nyuck.
I am flushing crimson!

Anonymous said...

Jewgirl would love to respond, but she has her hands full right now.

Nice hotel too.

Anonymous said...

Jewgirl would love to respond, but she has her hands full right now.

Nice hotel too.

Anonymous said...

I stutter when I engage in this sort of ativity.

Anonymous said...

I lose my ability to type and spell as well.

Do we have anymore quarters for the bed?

jewgirl said...

ethpanya, what are we? 10.

jewgirl said...

my darling rhet, you have taken linguistic masturbation to entirely new heights. love it

Al Sensu said...

Dicks and pussies go together like a horse and carriage, doncha know.

All our parts, M & F, give us reasons to fret and wish they were different in some way. Part o' life.

Unfortunately in this society women have come to believe they need to actually do something about it, and thus to plastic surge industry.

Men think, "it would be nice to have another inch or too," but then just continue wanking and thinking about sports.

Eebie said...

From the blog, I have to Monty said it all before I got a chance. Chin, chin, ... parfait!

You and rehtro got quite a thing going, I will not stand in the way of good cyber sex. I wish you both the best of luck.


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