Saturday, July 21, 2007

hacks be gone

working on an essay. it's so hack. hate its fucking guts. I suck un-funny, hedonistic, frum ass.

neighbor girl is fighting with bartholomew. I didn't know bartholomew's yelled. it just seems like the kind of name that uses words like, nomenclature and antiquated. the name feels dull and very none yelly.

listening to wooden sky (thank you bffer-love'ha-hahd, guthy), maxwell, joni mitchell, vintage tupac, the tango project and the dixie chicks. love a good shuffle. I'm an aquarius. I'm allowed to have odd mixes.

bart is piiiiissed. if a peen talked to me the way he's talking to her, I would send his ass packing faster than I could say fuck you and die, manobee.

I spoke with a scotsman today regarding a delivery. I go all weak in the knees when I talk to scotsmen. I can't keep my legs together or concentrate. though, I prefer homegrown boys, reallllllllllllly I do. I have a terrible weakness for scotsmen. when I went to school in the uk, I spent a good amount of time in scotland. those scottish lads have mad oral skills. nobody should be allowed to eat pussy like this. it should be illegal. the scotpeens that feasted on my Y treated it like it was the last supper each and every time.

I'm still menstruating, but no cramps and a very light flow. ah, I'm back to loving my period. no more gaza vulva this month. I'm still panting for bushpads and even have a few ideas.

I never hear my neighbors fart. I think that's weird. I'm sure they can hear my tunes. what gives?! fart fuckers. come on. let er' rip.

I am officially boring. I can't believe it. I've managed to become dull and predictable. oy vey. don't break up with me.

don't forget: today 6s. tomorrow bethy's rockin blogger award.


KELSO'S NUTS said...

gimme a fookin breek nae scoat kin dae coont lake nae fookin jae...

take a straw poll of your girlz...i'll lay a touchdown and $1.50-to-the-dollar that the boychiks pearl dive better than jocks (scots) dae...for ALL I CAN PUSH IN PLUS EVERYTHING IN THE COLOMBIANS BRIEFCASES

jewgirl said...

you are so wrong on every level. ha!

KELSO'S NUTS said...

The market stands as is. And I'll even admit that Jewish girls are way better than Scottish girls at all aspects of sex. The research gets kind of blurred, however, because after 8 16 ounce cans of Boddington's and whole bunch of lungs-full of Tester's Model Glue out of a Europa Foods paper sandwich bag, I can't raise with a crane.

jewgirl said...

I do think jewgirls have a bad rap. I think we rock in the sack. I'm so glad you think so, too.

you're a sniffer. is that your contribution to goyism?

KELSO'S NUTS said...

I'm Jewish, what the hell do you think? Obviously, flake, opiates, benzodiazipines, zoloft with a Swiss Miss Instant Cocoa chaser, and a Red Bull tweener but when I was in Rome I did as the Romans did...

KELSO'S NUTS said...

...and, of coure, La Equis and seltzer for those "special occasions"

jewgirl said...

a scrip druggie that dabbled in cocaine back in the 80s. not much of an alky, though, right? I've met one jew alcoholic. that's it.

KELSO'S NUTS said...

45-yo 2x divorced bachelor. No reason to leave any forms of childish behavior behind in the 80s.

As Eddie El Arabe asked me after the Omaha the other night, "why do Jews love drugs and gambling so much but not drinking?"

What could I tell him other that "sea como sea".

Dale said...

It's this type of post that makes me never allowed to break up with you. Gaza vulva? hahaha, I'm farting with laughter.

KELSO'S NUTS said...

You sound like a wise, rational sort, Dale.

I just wish I could have gotten at least one more jewboy to back me up on this. I was fighting a lonely battle here, albeit not badly.

Eebie said...

Aye, a wee bit late ta yur wee chat, still, I cun give ya the scotish brough like a trrue Glaswegian, by 'he way. (I did complete my MSc 'here, by the by.) I've got 'he blether, aye.

And Ka'ie, yur a fine besom, glad yu like what a Scot can doo wi'h 'is wee toungue. Yu may find me gallus, bu' I can doo the same fer yer. Yer a braw hen.

Bubs said...

Jews and Scots, Scots and Jews...that's why I like hanging around here.

KELSO'S NUTS said...

Only Scottish I know was from going to Musselburgh races and hanging out after. Never went to Hamilton. Glaswegian too hard to understand. Easier to play Hamilton w/private in London.

KELSO'S NUTS said...

Well, Jocks and Jews do tend to hold down the left flank pretty well. They do both love their drugs, sex and gambling. Part company a bit on booze.

KELSO'S NUTS said...

Well, given the TOTALLY weak response by mis hermanos judios (where did all the menschen go?), I guess I'm going to have to concede the point.

I thought I was holding a lay-down hand here. All Jocks have to offer is a little bit of a Dom attitude. Going by myself and my friends, I had assumed Boychicks can do Dom plus Imagination. Given that I've gotten zero backup, I'm assuming it's just a City Boychick thing.

I lose my bet. Too many suburban Hebes who fuck at a snail's pace and can't come up with la fucking pinga de locuras, pue'. Que verga de lastima!

Jewgirl, you win. And the woman who wrote up her experience with her Scottish lover on the other post also wins.

Never call Kelso a sore loser.

KELSO'S NUTS said...


Get your work done and get back to the important stuff going on right here. I feel your pain. I have to enter into Excel the results of every women's tennis match played in the world over the last two years and do 4 or 5 days of data analysis to derive a betting model before El Principe De Los Judios, KELSO, JR., makes his Panama debut next Wednesday. Market for WTA has gotten very deep and I wouldn't live up to my Heebalishidad if I didn't put myself into a position in which I was the only person in the world using calculus, regression and stochastic processes to beat women's tennis for high limits. Those Nintendo games, Pokemon and Baseball cards do tend to add up especially when you're a doting father like me.

I think one of the muscle dudes who had my back with the Colombians last week got off the best line about the pending arrival of my 7 1-2 YO boy: "Un mes sin 'desordenes'? Que vas a hacer, pue'" ["A whole month without 'disorderliness'. What you gonna do, yo?"]

For now, I'm just going to hack away myself at my shit. And do my best to duck these annoying local goyish rich kids who are trying to borrow my money for their stupidities. As a latch-key city Jew who as had to eat as a boy his share of sardines out of the can for dinner or chicken hearts on toast, I HOLD NO PATIENCE FOR SPOILED RICH KIDS. I FUCKING HATE THEM. THEY ARE FAR WORSE THAN COSTENO MONEY LAUNDERERS BECAUSE AT LEAST WITH GANGSTERS THE MONEY'S ON THE TABLE AND YOU KNOW WHERE YOU STAND. THESE VARIED AND SUNDRY ARISTOCRATIC CODES OF STYLE ARE IMPENETRABLE AND THESE SPOILED RICH YOUNG DILDOES ARE WORSE THIEVES THAN THE COSTENOS ARE.

Sure, I'll buy my son EA Baseball or Pokeman Gold but he sure as shit ain't getting a BMW at 16 like these goyish cunts down here do. I'll pay his schools but he's going to have to work for his spending money. Not a dime until age 25. I went to a fancy NYC prep school on scholarship and was the poorest kid there and I saw how too much luxury too young fucked my classmates up. Yeah, I lived in the barrio and my friends' parents wouldn't let them come down to play. But later in life while those fucks were at Hazelden, I was getting my fucking MBA AND DOING ALL THE DOPE I PLEASED.

Have I mentioned how much I fucking loathe spoiled rich kids? I hope they all rot in pieces. And the rich kids here are far less annoying than they are in NYC or LA. But because of the poker/club nexus, they've seized on this little Shtetl boy as a soft touch. But Shtelt boy is only a soft touch for those in need.

I don't give a fuck how much money you have, what kind of responsible parent GIVES brand new BMWs to their lazy no-account kids?

I think we need some Scots down here to help Kelso and his Jews bust up on some goyim. Yeah, Eebie, fucking HUN-style, bubbeleh.

jewgirl said...

awww, daleish, ya such a honey.

jewgirl said...

kelsey, have you been to dale's blog??? run. read. now. you will howl. hit his archives and read his yarns about his meshpucha, too. OMG.

jewgirl said...

bubbsie... you're so funny.

jewgirl said...

kelsey, you doing ok, babe? was it a bad day? now, do you gamble every day or is it more like a few times a week? how do you differentiate between career/sport and addiction?

I'm being nosey, pushy even. I know. don't hock. I know nothing about gambling. I didn't even know our people were so into it or made careers of it.

see how much I've learned from you already!

KELSO'S NUTS said...

I am a professional gambler. I do it and have done it every day in a professional manner since I was 21.

I had a horrible day having nothing to do with gambling. I won quite a bit today with some of the matches in the Austrian Open, Croatian Open and Indianapolis Tennis. I had an intense argument with a real goyishe koppf with whom I'd invested money. He owed me my envelope and not only didn't pay but had the temerity to ask for additional investment in his business. I told him to fuck himself and I'd be collecting in 90 days or defaulting him. He's like a real Eurotrash dude but Panamanian and not Jewish.

I really don't want to go into gambling at any greater level of detail because of UIGEA and Taco Boy Gonzales' bullshit. I'll be more forthcoming privately or on my alternate blog FOREGO'S NUTS.

I have also run a Russian Equity fund and Pan-Emerging Markets debt and derivatives fund. The skills needed for gambling and finance are identical.

KELSO'S NUTS said...

jewgirl: thanks for inquiring into my state of mind a couple of days back. Everything stressful here seems to be resolved to my satisfaction. I should have remembered the old joke that a Jew with an attorney and a CPA is as strong as a tunk with one in the clip and 16 in the chamber or as strong as a Southerner with a Bible. An aristocratic young person with a BMW not in the same league. Everything cool.

For the brethren and sistren who failed to back me up on my MAIN point in this string (Jew over Scot in sex ddpt), man & woman up, fahcryinoutloud. You cannot imagine what hurdles you can clear with a lot of research, some bluster, some finesse, and a semi-believable bluff that you don't care if you live or die or go broke. It's a shitty thing to say, but the goyim can be a little gullible sometimes.


design by