Why do I want to be your president? Because goddamn it, I've earned it. Hell, I was an admiral's son, I didn't have to go to goddamn Vietnam, get shot down and deal with all those goddamn sadistic gook prison guards. No, I went because my prick of a father and his asshole of a father were goddamn admirals, for Christ's sake, and I had no choice but to pay off the poker bet I made with them and join the goddamn Navy. And after five years of eating goddamn rats and getting poked up the ass with hot bamboo sticks, then I gotta return to the states to a limping gimp of a wife who got herself fucked up in a car accident and got all fat on me? The cunt ended up with an ass on her the width of a Volkswagen, and after all I'd been through at the Hanoi Hilton, I was expected to come home and fuck that fat cunt? Hell, no! Then I met Cindy, who was hotter'n a two dollar pistol and her dad owned a beer factory. Why did I dump my fat ass first wife and get with Cindy? Bec...
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I guess that says it all.
JDC
Lucky for me, wooden trestles went out with Casey Jones and the Cannonball Express, so I can earn a crust using steel and re-inforced concrete.
A cross doesn't seem like it'd be a very effective bridge, what with that big hump in the middle. How the hell are we supposed to get over it? Wait, I know. Does it have something to do with why there's only one set of footprints because that's when Jesus was carrying us?