Monday, April 16, 2007

masturbation = same sex lovin'

over the past few days, I have been given several christian gifts from my darlings crionaberry and doc. I'll be sharing this week, I'm not selfish.



today, we're dishing delicious doc's gift and oh what a gift it is...


the marriage bed: sex and intimacy for married christians. no, that's not an oxymoron.



doc told me to hit the kinky boards and I am super glad I did.

masturbation (mb) leads to lesbianism / homosexuality

love a good stretch, and that masturbation is so wrong, it's best "acronymd" to mb.



This was really interesting...



I was talking with DW on the phone during lunch today and she told me about a co-worker who had a special speaker for youth ministry at their church who taught...



1. Since MB is self-love, with the same sex, and since the definition of homosexual/lesbian (according to the definition she found/is using) is "one who services the needs of the same sex" - THEN MB is the same as homosexual/lesbian sex.



2. MB in general, leaves one open to the prospect of Homosexual/Lesbian behavior/thoughts/encounters, etc... (In other words, is like an "open door" into the Homosexual/Lesbian lifestyle.) WOW!

13 comments:

Mountjoy said...

Can't say I have ever had a man slip into my "wank bank" as I closed my eyes and knocked the top of one, Katie. But I must protest at the advertising of "Early Times" Whisky alongside a post on MB. Such a subliminal suggestion that MB leads to premature ejaculation will be howled down by the massess, I feel sure. Now where's my hankie...

"jew" "girl" said...

the wank bank? mount joy, you make me fuckin' howl.

Coaster Punchman said...

And it's just this kind of argument we use to seduce the straight guys to visit our team. Usually works, too.

Coaster Punchman said...

Oh, you've been tagged on my musical meme part one, btw. And don't forget to read your review over at CPW.

Tanya Espanya said...

How come I try to vote you at the Blogger's Choice but I can't find your blog there?

Tanya Espanya said...

Okay, sorry, after 45 years of searching I found your site at the Blogger's Choice and voted for you. Phew, I'm exhausted now!

Amy Guth said...

WANK BANK?!?!?!?

Oh man. This is so great. I read a Christian dating site once that said something about dudes tucking their junk back on dates so they wouldn't accidentally splooge on their date, but that care should be taken to not tuck too well and "accidentally sodomize yourself, thereby becoming a homosexual".... wow. Love that more than I can tell you.

Mountjoy said...

Lest there be any confusion, I am happy to direct those wondering exactly how a "wank bank" works, here:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wank+bank&defid=692825

(Definition #2)

Creepy said...

Ahhh, I love the smell of repressed sexuality.

Who the hell is seeking information about marital intimacy? It ain't rocket science.

Mountjoy said...

I'm skimming that religiously okay sexual practices page (Mary gets a mention, but not the donkey she rode in on... Natch!) and I see they comment that a dildo/vibe is okay, but they dont know a store selling them they could recommend. Is this a niche market, or what? Christian Dildos. What do you say, Katie, wanna be my business partner. I'm thinking of setting it up on-line. We can call it Second Coming Adult Toys... and we'll slap "He is risen" logos all over the gear.

Al Sensu said...

Oh, man, I am SO GAY and I had no idea.

Jules said...

I always KNEW I was a lesbian.

Coaster Punchman said...

Mountjoy cracks me me. "Second Coming Christian Adult Toys." BRILLIANT!

 

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