I love you craigslist, oh yes I do!

Free Male Housecleaner/ Personal Assistant in exchange for a tease



Hi Ladies,

I am available to be your helper. I can be your assistant in any household chores you may need. I can clean, polish, scrub, vaccum any room inside your home, apartment or condo. I also can do yardwork, moving and some fixing.

In addition, I can also wash your cars and do some assistant officework such as paperwork, organizing, answering phone calls, taking down messsages etc. I can also do errands for you, drive to get some things or pick up whatever you need.

All my services are FREE! Just e-mail me.

I'm a nice guy, clean, honest, and respectful. 5'5 30/m All I ask is a little tease from you while I release myself. Just a pose in your underwear that's it. No sex or touching involved, I want to be safe also. I know that this is an unusual deal but I'm totally normal but a little shy. One time, short or long term available : )

I e-stalked him and asked, are fat chicks eligible? I'll keep you looped...

Comments

Writeprocrastinator said…
Okay, this is just wrong!...



You are now outsourcing my job???



I can't believe you...



No, really, I can't...



Katie Schwartz, you are astounding!!!



You are making the last tow payments on my this French maid outfit, it's the very least that you can do after this betrayal!
8:36 PM
Anonymous said…
Oh man!! I want one too! :)
8:39 PM
Coaster Punchman said…
Wow! Sounds like a perfect deal!
5:38 AM
Anonymous said…
I'm on the edge of my seat. Will be back repeatedly for updates.
5:52 AM
Bacon Lady said…
HAHAHAHA! I can't wait to hear his response.
6:06 AM
Al Sensu said…
I've been wondering what to do when I retire.
8:10 AM
Mister Mxyzptlk said…
You should definitely go for this. By the way, in CL-speak you are a BBW...there is no such thing as fat.

The skeptic in me wonders if he's really hoping for more than what he describes, but he actually sounds real. Starbucks meet first, of course.
8:11 AM
Romius T. said…
u need to document how much in money value in work you get from this guy and report it on your taxes.

Men are so needy aren't we.
7:18 PM
Eebie said…
I don't get the tease. I'd rather just get laid. If I'm not getting laid, I certainly don't want the tease.

I think he wants to check your home to see if there is anything to steal.

Also, Craigslist is the king of spyware so get spybot search and destroy.
7:33 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SPEAKING OF ABORTIONS

Image
Menses just commenced. It's 1:14 AM. I was asleep. That felt good. At 12:24, I popped up. I think I'm awake, maybe awakeish is more accurate. I'm always surprised when those handy-soapy-foamy-bottles run out of soap. For some lame ass reason, it never occurs to me that they ever will. They feel so lifetime supply , even though the bottles aren't more than 8 inches tall. Similarly, when I flip on a light switch and the light flickers to its death, I think "Now what?" Duh, schmuckette, you change the fucking light bulb . Intellectually, I know this, yet for some odd reason, it never comes to mind. In fact, a few years ago, my mother walked into my house and said, "Why aren't the lights working?" I said "I don't know, I flick the switch and they don't work." After a fit of uproarious laughter, she said, "Would it kill you to change the light bulb?” Hmmm. "No", I shamefully responded. I wonder why... it is that I hav...
Read more

Best Spam Evaaaaaaaaaaah -UPDATE-

Image
Look what I found in my box today?! Aside from the fact that I'm a VADGE and there is a glaring typo " fie" instead of " fine" , they've made this dame a raging cunt- hate that (and her high, tight rack. Bitch ). Women don't behave this way. Women aren't cunty. Women don't emasculate men. That is not how we roll, yo. UPDATE : From the fabulous and flawless MonkeyMucker : Actually hon that's not a typo. the word "fie" is a somewhat rare wordthat is used to denote scorn or used in place of a swear or curse word.It was more popular in the old days, like say during the 16th thru 19th centuries . Who knew?! I had no idea. Simianboy, you're a wealth of knowledge. Grazie. Penis enlargement patches also do not work. If you want to keep your junk intact, don't be stickin' things in it, or on it that can damage the meat bat. Don't let anyone make you feel badly about your manhood, either. It's your dick, live it. Love it....
Read more

Get Listen Up

Image
Have you seen the infomercial for Get Listen Up ? I thought the idea of a product that turns "Ordinary hearing into Extroidinary hearing" was too camp for words. In the mersh, a hospitable narrator takes you through all kinds of folks using it in church, hunting, watching television, listening to your spawn on the playground, all doable, right? Right. I was sold, too. Until.... my friendly narrator lady said "Listen to what your neighbors are saying about you." Okay, creeparella, how very big brother. Watch the mersh . Doreen sent me a kick ass, smart ass article this week in the NY Times called, " Skin Deep - Hey, Mom, the Rabbi Approved my Tattoo ". Speaking of Diva Doreen, I finished her flawless, brilliant book Queen of the Road (it's tits to the tenth, children) and she's graciously allowed me to interview her. I'll be posting that this week and you will love every word. Frannylish sent me, in her words an "oy gevalt" article ...
Read more