Tuesday, April 17, 2007

dressing for jesus and loving it!

katie's been zealot hopping today and oh boy has she found some creepy dish. it all started when I happened upon biblical womanhood. first I found an article: adorned in modest apparel, it begins with the heart.

a snippet for your reading pleasure:

"I am not going to come out and condemn or condone any clothing in particular in this article. I don’t feel that God has called me to do that. Rather, I challenge you to question yourself, "Is the way that I am dressing in accordance with the Biblical mandate that women are to be adorned in modest apparel?"
it's good to know that meaty lips flappin' in the wind isn't out, and even more comforting that the author won't condemn my choice. after all, it is quite possible that is what I think jesus wants to see me in. in my mind, he regards that as modest and demure. hello. after saving a hooker, he kept on churnin' em' out (hookers at the point), and, hi, loin cloth. I rest my case.

after tooling around z-world for quite some time, I found... drum roll, please,
modest clothing links. bubs, I can hear you snickering awwwwl the way ova hea. calm yourself clown boy.

ps: you won't find many with a splash of color on these sites. out of the half dozen I hit, one site had a few non-white models. the majority are filled with super whites. topping my must visit list is, the king's daughters. if the below photos don't look like drag queens in the making to you, somebody please point me in the direction of a few who do. these are "girls", right? (you know which ones I'm talking about)

some of these outfits aren't modest, they're just plum vile. please tell me what is hot about a skort. you know, shorts built into the skirt. check out this dowdy number, an edwardian hand sewn apron. if that doesn't give him wood, I don't know what will! my credit card is burnin' up for these matronly frocks at simply modest. I've always wanted to be a handmaiden and now I can!

don't forget to check out undergarments. WOW. talk about hot! need a bra? how about a swim suit? as a single dame, I'm sure when I get felt up or fingered, (provided he can find my flange), he's definitely coming back for more.


ps: for those of you who think I'm going to hell. I'm a jew. we don't do hell.


Unknown said...

Is that little girl hungering for human flesh? Man, she is creepy as hell.


Joe said...

OK...I got a couple of beefs with this post.

First of all, that picture is my mom as a young girl. She's waiting for your royalty check as I type this.

Second, where did you find those pictures of my bride and daughters wearing those beautiful dresses?

Coaster Punchman said...

Is the crown for sale on that one site where you can buy the swimsuits?

Alasdair said...

I wonder what you're supposed to keep in the roomy pocket in that hot ladies nightgown...

"Ladies Nightgown
Made in a crisp white weavers cloth, you'll love wearing this apron that is full of ruffles! Comes with a roomy pocket..."

Maybe some extra ruffles? A ruffle boa?

Creepy said...

Those people are the ones to be scared of, not us heathens.

Lydia said...

have you ever read Caryl Rivers Virgins and Girls Forever Brave and True? They're good high school laughs, and there's a whole bit about "Marylike" clothes that this post reminded me of.

Julie said...

Hey- instead of getting my education or having a career- I can become a Handmaiden of the Lord.


Dale said...

I'll have what Satan in pigtails is having.

Coaster Punchman said...

Not to be sick or anything, but a couple of those kids in the photos you posted look like cancer patients.

Melinda June said...

That edwardian apron may look modest, but I'm betting it's open in the back for easy access.


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