fuck, this city sucks the ass of a beast

here's a lil' something to consider, when someone says, I can't breathe. I am nauseous. I can't breathe. I really can't breathe anymore. I have to go right now. I can't do this. let me go. I just want to breathe. you should definitely STOP TALKING because a panic/anxiety attack is on the horizon. just one of life's little side notes.



on an up note, a single chap, bit rough on the eyes, rolled up on a sweet ass vintage harley and paused to flirt with tittiestum. his bike was fabulous. I thought he was high until I saw the stuffed, hawaiian themed monkey on his back (that ain't a fuckin' metaphor, joke or innuendo). turns out that lil monkey is his faithful companion. as luck would have it, he was retarded. special. touched. short bus.

Comments

Coaster Punchman said…
Retards are cool. But it's still no fair that they get their own Olympics.
4:12 AM
Tanya Espanya said…
Retards are a dime a dozen...really, how many people do you know AREN'T retards? Everybody and their damn special needs...I'm special needs, too! I can't get off my ass and do stuff, I have the attention span of a shoe...
6:29 AM
Bacon Lady said…
But you got his number, right?
10:39 AM
Writeprocrastinator said…
Wow, there's just no telling what he's up to when says, "so, you wanna touch my monkey?"
11:51 AM
Writeprocrastinator said…
"when says"

Um, "when he says" is what I meant.

That's screwed up about the panic attack. Here's what Dr. Procrastinator scrips for you, take George Clooney four times and call me in the morning.
11:55 AM
Katie Schwartz said…
yeah, that's true, bff-cp, tards are cool. but fat tards blow tards outta the water in terms of coolness.
6:04 PM
Katie Schwartz said…
oh espanya darling, I was born on a short bus. I feel you, girl.
6:05 PM
Katie Schwartz said…
chaylene... sweetie, I did better, I sucked his tard cock and his stuffed monkey's until they jizzed all over my big ass titties.
6:06 PM
Katie Schwartz said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
6:07 PM
Katie Schwartz said…
exactly bff-wp, we all know exactly what he means!
6:07 PM
Katie Schwartz said…
clooney?!?!? wp, what about beneethio?!??! I'd much rather mainline his rican ass. he's way more moistable.
6:08 PM
Katie Schwartz said…
YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL SICK FUCKS AND I FUCKING LOVE YOU FOR IT!
6:08 PM
Tanya Espanya said…
I love how you wrote Benecio as Beneethio (I'm guessing you didn't mean 'beneath you') As usual, I crush you with my love, especially when you speak my language the correct way...sigh... :)
7:29 PM
Al Sensu said…
I can be retarded if that's what you're into, babe.

"To cause to move or proceed slowly"

That's why they call me "slowhand".
5:39 AM
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