eaten out

to be eaten out::: when someone dines at the Y.

my bff4rrehvr, crionaberry and I recently had a dish about being eaten out. what gives?

food for thought, how can you be eaten out when vaginas are all about eating in?

you gotta get all up inside a chick's flange to nosh. so, are you eating her out of cunt juice and home? do you dine outdoors? is it about cervical suckage?

WHAT THE FUCK DOES EATING OUT HAVE TO DO WITH EATING PUSSY?!

and, this:

I want to eat you out
I ate her out
can I eat you out

ok. that. is just not hot. it makes me feel like I have a knish between my legs.

when a man says, I want to eat you out. it conjures images of my pussy being served on a red and white checkered tablecloth. like he's wearing a napkin as a shirt and bringing a knife and a fork to the pussy party. creepy.

girls? boys? spill.

Comments

Nicky said…
I think it's a gross phrase. I don't know why but it makes me think of the nursery rhyme Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater. There's no specific connection, but that's what I think of and it creeps me out.
8:07 AM
Writeprocrastinator said…
Well first, quoth the Bette Midler, "if God didn't want pussy to be eaten, he wouldn't have made it look like a taco."

Second, "eating out?" It's not a phrase that I've used since I was in high school, with one exception. Whenever a S.E. Rykoff truck (the restaurant supply company) goes by and I see their ubiquitous slogan "eat out more often," I have to explain why I'm laughing so hard. It never gets old, because I see the trucks so rarely and randomly.

Third, I would guess the phrase "eating out" was akin to the phrase, "being turned out." As in, turning something inside out.
12:10 PM
Writeprocrastinator said…
P.S.

Loves the "Dagwood" reference!
12:11 PM
Anonymous said…
Actually, you're not too far off Nicky. Did you ever hear the old joke about how the Fairy Godmother plugged Cinderella's hoo-hoo up with a pumpking when she heard Cindy was cheating on the prince?
Fairy G. comes back weeks later surprised to find Miss Cinderella happy as could be. Well, Cinderella revealed to Fairy Godmother, you'll never believe who I met...Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater!
I heard this joke when I was in 7th grade & am disturbed that I still remember it.
9:01 PM
Ms Smack said…
yeh it grosses me out too. Mind you, its okay for me to say to Katie 'seafood taco' or 'eat the horizontal taco' or something, but if a guy actually said that to me? i'd probably slap his face.

There are some things you can say to your girls that you cant say, or hear from a mans mouth.

I am trying to think of a phrase I will accept - if he has to ask - and am struggling. Help me Katie. Whats acceptable?
6:03 AM
Katie Schwartz said…
nicky, that is hysterical! eerily true, too. so gross.
11:40 AM
Katie Schwartz said…
wp, bruce vilanch wrote that. it's quite hilar, isn't it! he's such an amazing writer.

interesting explanation: being turned out. I can see that.

still. does it turn you on to say it? I mean, really? you're a man, so I'm askin. spill.
11:42 AM
Katie Schwartz said…
diane. I don't know that joke. great spin on an old nursery rhyme. got anymore?
11:43 AM
Katie Schwartz said…
honey smack, so true. so fucking true. and so funny!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

phrase wise... the following would work for me, what about you:::

I could eat your pussy for days.
I could live between your legs, you taste that delicious.
your juices are as luscious as fresh spring water.

weigh in, honey!
11:46 AM
Dale said…
Nobody should ever say 'I want to eat you out'. They should just do it and try not to slurp too loudly. Unless you like slurping.
12:23 PM
Nicky said…
Diane -- that's it! I remember that joke from elementary school! Ewwww... food-in-vagina references really skeeve me out.
3:10 PM
Writeprocrastinator said…
"still. does it turn you on to say it? I mean, really? you're a man, so I'm askin. spill."

Know that I speak only for myself when I say that it doesn't for me as much as it did back in my teen days, but back then, everything got me going. It's kinda like cat fighting, it just doesn't hold the same thrill anymore.
8:36 PM
Ms Smack said…
I am going on a mission to use one of your phrases to my advantage this weekend. Lord knows, I have cobwebs and girl, they need tongue-dusting.
3:48 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SPEAKING OF ABORTIONS

Image
Menses just commenced. It's 1:14 AM. I was asleep. That felt good. At 12:24, I popped up. I think I'm awake, maybe awakeish is more accurate. I'm always surprised when those handy-soapy-foamy-bottles run out of soap. For some lame ass reason, it never occurs to me that they ever will. They feel so lifetime supply , even though the bottles aren't more than 8 inches tall. Similarly, when I flip on a light switch and the light flickers to its death, I think "Now what?" Duh, schmuckette, you change the fucking light bulb . Intellectually, I know this, yet for some odd reason, it never comes to mind. In fact, a few years ago, my mother walked into my house and said, "Why aren't the lights working?" I said "I don't know, I flick the switch and they don't work." After a fit of uproarious laughter, she said, "Would it kill you to change the light bulb?” Hmmm. "No", I shamefully responded. I wonder why... it is that I hav...
Read more

Best Spam Evaaaaaaaaaaah -UPDATE-

Image
Look what I found in my box today?! Aside from the fact that I'm a VADGE and there is a glaring typo " fie" instead of " fine" , they've made this dame a raging cunt- hate that (and her high, tight rack. Bitch ). Women don't behave this way. Women aren't cunty. Women don't emasculate men. That is not how we roll, yo. UPDATE : From the fabulous and flawless MonkeyMucker : Actually hon that's not a typo. the word "fie" is a somewhat rare wordthat is used to denote scorn or used in place of a swear or curse word.It was more popular in the old days, like say during the 16th thru 19th centuries . Who knew?! I had no idea. Simianboy, you're a wealth of knowledge. Grazie. Penis enlargement patches also do not work. If you want to keep your junk intact, don't be stickin' things in it, or on it that can damage the meat bat. Don't let anyone make you feel badly about your manhood, either. It's your dick, live it. Love it....
Read more

Get Listen Up

Image
Have you seen the infomercial for Get Listen Up ? I thought the idea of a product that turns "Ordinary hearing into Extroidinary hearing" was too camp for words. In the mersh, a hospitable narrator takes you through all kinds of folks using it in church, hunting, watching television, listening to your spawn on the playground, all doable, right? Right. I was sold, too. Until.... my friendly narrator lady said "Listen to what your neighbors are saying about you." Okay, creeparella, how very big brother. Watch the mersh . Doreen sent me a kick ass, smart ass article this week in the NY Times called, " Skin Deep - Hey, Mom, the Rabbi Approved my Tattoo ". Speaking of Diva Doreen, I finished her flawless, brilliant book Queen of the Road (it's tits to the tenth, children) and she's graciously allowed me to interview her. I'll be posting that this week and you will love every word. Frannylish sent me, in her words an "oy gevalt" article ...
Read more