Sunday, August 27, 2006

what is wrong with people?

today, I was minding my own business while stopped at an intersection.

I drive a 30-year-old bmw. it ain't flashy. but it's a sweet ride ... to me. albeit not very jew-c of me. but, it was free. it's in mint condition with only 50,000 miles. believe me, my grandmothers are plotzing in heaven from this deal.

so, all of a sudden I hear a loud vroom, vroom, vrroooooom next to me. I look over and see mr. midlife crisis, clearly working on wife #3, driving some obnoxious orange cock extender on wheels, staring at me while revving his engine.


believe me when I say it wasn't sexual. don't hock. let me be in the epicenter of my self esteem crisis in peace. thank you, dahlings.

he mouths, "it's on!"

mind you, I'm having a perfectly jewrific sunday. I'm driving with my dog, louie, listening to the way we were. a little, sailing by christopher cross. the rose. louie's popping his head out the sunroof. no the window. no the sunroof. I'm drinking crystal light lemonade. he's drinking icy water from his bowl.


wellllll, mr. hunting for third wife, rolls his window down and over his revving engine screams, "race?! come on!"

I started laughing.

he says, "scared I'm gonna whup your ass?!"

ps: who says, whup? that is so short bus.

I said, "what is wrong with you?! what part of this car and me, makes you think I want to race you?!"

so, what does he do... he punches the gas and as he's driving off into the distance, I hear, "puuuuussssyyyyy."

ahhh... moments later, I rolled past his mini cockhighness and witnessed a most peeved officer giving him a ticket. I blew him a kiss.

nobody calls katie a pussy! (baby in the corner enough for you?! the shame)


Writeprocrastinator said...

"ps: who says, whup? that is so short bus."


BTW, that's says a lot that he wasn't looking for a brand new car, of comparable capability. What kind of man calls a woman that anyway? I mean, it is offensive, but I doubt that it would trigger the same anti-chicken reflex in women, that gets men into so much shit.

That cat was "short bus." If you're going to goad, goad right.

yournamehere said...

Dawg, you shoulda done raced him and shit. That woulda been tight, dawg.

n.v. said...

Katie, you're the man! I love it :)


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